To think it’s very hard to live in the uk without inheritance or family money?

[Lifesucksthenyoudie]

Just that really. Social mobility seems almost impossible at the moment without a head start. I earn a decent salary (Dh doesn’t but that’s another post) but my standard of living is so much worse than my parents and my mother didn’t work until we were in secondary school and even then part time for peanuts. Nursery fees and mortgage alone wipe us out. I haven’t inherited any money (large family, no chance) and feel a bit stuck. Not after sympathy just interested to see if others feel a bit trapped. Why is our society geared up this way?

You can't just say they rent in Europe and don't buy the same. 27 years ago when property was affordable we bought a flat for 350 mortgage, it would have been 500 to rent same flat, we went to Germany for friends wedding nice flat which was about 150 a month so in Europe renting was cheap buying was expensive. Yiu can't compare when it is not the same.

You are not wrong, housing so expensive in this country, whether renting or buying, donr know how my kids are ever going to afford it.

Nurses income, pension and holiday and sick pay is not bad really. Plus great job security.

and yet we 40,000 nurses short in this country

Tbh I actually think one of the biggest differences in regard to not being able to afford life nowadays is if you end up as an adult having to live alone or as a single parent. Not having a joint income is hard when paying for housing and being the only person available for taking to and from nursery/school limits what jobs will work for you

Dh and I decided early on we could not afford children. We are both military so we worked hard, paying extra into our mortgage and paying it off early, we lived ( on the bones) through the 15 % mortgage rates. We had no holidays until in our 40s but now are mortgage free with a decent house and a wonderful dog. My sister and husband had two children early on, lived in a tiny tenement flat, worked hard, saved hard, now also mortgage free in a lovely property close to their 3 grandsons. Our parents taught us well.

It's so dependent on occupation and location. We're 67/68, with mortgage paid, and a single DC25. But we have been freelance/self-employed/small business people since we were 35. DH cannot retire yet, despite wanting to, because the business he started is currently slow but with a large valuable contract in the offing. He has no idea when/whether the client will say yes, go ahead. Meanwhile, we shall stop taking any money until the die is cast. Because our payroll supports over 20 people including wives and dependent children. If the contract happens, we'll put a decent chunk into the pension fund and give the company to the staff with some cash flow, and if they can keep it going, we'll take a slow trickle of payment. It's not exactly going out with a bang and a stock market listing.

The saddest statistic I have ever read is that 75% of enterprises/businesses do not survive the transition if the founder dies or retires. Considering that about 60% of the population works for small businesses, this should frighten the pants off a lot of people.

Things cost more now, and yes we get paid more but wages haven't risen in line with inflation and definitely not in line with house prices. Which means both adults "need" to work for at least the same lifestyle as their parents. But that means childcare, which is like a second mortgage.

But, it is doable without family money or inheritance. We have neither. We have a mortgage and we pay for childcare and it's ridiculous amounts but we manage. We don't have flash holidays or do all the expensive days out that many of my friends (who plead poverty on the regular) do with their families. We do a lot of free, a lot of outside/nature based activities. We only pay for experiences we REALLY want. And we're happy. And my friends who feel like they have to do all the expensive, flashy stuff often ask how come we're not struggling. It isn't rocket science.

There may be inheritance coming down the line, but while both sets of parents aren't poverty stricken, they aren't wealthy and neither DH or I are only children so it won't be life changing. And its never guaranteed, I'd rather they spent it enjoying themselves or used it for care if needed later on.

Considering all the SAHM I would say no. They are not all from family wealth but the husband is doing enough so they can afford not to earn.
I have no family wealth, my parents always rented, no holidays, we had our gas and electricity disconnected a few times, worked super hard, went to an average uni, instead of drinking every night I was studying hard, got offered a phd and now make very very good money. Bought with my husband who also worked hard and got a phd a flat, now a house in London and we send kids to private schools. We work extremely hard though and majority of people just want to work 9-5 or part time which does not cut it for highly paid city jobs. It’s a decision but then people can’t complain they are struggling.

We’ve had no inheritance, both average/slightly over average salaries and manage just fine. Can’t say we’re loaded but have luxuries
Tbf we did get lucky and 5 year fix our mortgage when rates were low in Covid - nursery fees aren’t ideal. Have you looked at childminders or a nursery within a school? Sooo much cheaper. A lesson we learnt with our second after paying ridiculous amounts for our first!

Expectations are much higher, everyone seems to wants a nice house, nice car, nice holidays & lifestyle whether or not they can actually afford it. Nice cars on lease, big mortgages taken out on low interest without much thought about what happens when interest rates rise.

In comparison I had an old banger when I first bought my home on single salary. Forget going out every penny went on my home. My husband remembers paying 15% on his first mortgage! Everyone wants to buy a place but not sacrifice lifestyle…….back then very few people had false nails never mind Botox, false lashes and eyebrows, BBLs, fake tans, multiple holidays abroad and more. Theres no way I could have afforded to rent never mind buy with that kind of expenditure when I was young.

I neither got nor expected any inheritance, my dad worked bloody hard to save for a comfy retirement and never had a car or any luxuries I can remember.

Prices have gone up crazily so we cut out or cut down what isn’t essential. Just everyone’s version of essential seems to be different.

I wish the government would announce some help for single people. Not everyone is one half of a couple and some of us are trying to make it work on a single income. For those of us who aren't clever enough or capable enough to pursue a high-flying, high-paying career, where does that leave us? I am doing my best to look at all options to increase my income, but I have a serious health condition that restricts what I can do. Evidently our benefits system doesn't consider it serious enough to actually qualify for any support as I have been turned down for PIP despite having a legally recognised disability. So I find myself in the position of being too ill to work full time but not ill enough to get any help, and without the backup of a partner's salary, renting or buying a home of my own is so far out of my reach that to be honest it doesn't even seem worth worrying about - it's a waste of time. I am failing at life and have no future.

There needs to be a basic standard of living for everyone, so all can afford at least a basic roof over their heads, and proper support needs to be provided for people who need it. Disability benefits need an overhaul and some tax breaks in the right places might be appreciated too. I don't know what the answer is to be honest but I feel very alone in this world sometimes.

@GnomeDePlume interesting you mention the outstanding schools and not a smart area

The only reason my son 29 and his partner 26 got their house this year is because my parents passed away and they left my son half of their house in their will
( thanks mum & dad 😂)

The house my parents bought for 8000 pounds in 1976 sold for just short of 500k in 2021
it’s in the catchment area of two very popular outstanding junior schools one of which feeds into a very popular church school and the other school is a outstanding & popular senior school - but those junior schools & senior schools were more like Grange Hill when I went there - full of “Zamos” and just say no was defiantly a thing back at my school 😂 it was not a popular area at all .

But the estate agent said he could of sold the house many times over because of the 2 outstanding schools and that put £££££ on the price even though it needed renovation as my parent had lived there for 50 odd years .

But the house is a opposite a really lovely popular huge park - very quiet rd and 10min walk to a main train station and you can be in London in 90 mins - it’s the sort of street where people live like my parents for 50 plus years and you generally only get a house up for sale when someone dies 😂

but back then it defiantly wasn’t popular or trendy area and the park was just a park where we kids used to hang out

now it’s got a few cafes tennis courts / bowling green play area outdoor gym running trails all sorts of stuff but none of that was there when my parents bought .

The family who bought were originally from my city and were moving back to be closer to family and had sold a house in London and had been trying to buy a house & looking for 18months and wanted to be in this particular catchment area for the schools

But my parents struggled when we were kids
my dad was a. HGV class 2 driver and my mum a cleaner
No holidays, no meals out, hand me downs clothes, second hand furniture no holidays abroad till they were In there early 50s and very rarely went out for meals

Neither myself nor DP have ‘family money’ and if we receive any inheritance it will not be significant given we each have 2 siblings, and whilst our parents had good lives they certainly weren’t rolling in it.

All that being said, we each worked hard (PhD for my DP, 3 degrees & professional qualification for myself) and have gotten good jobs. Despite student loans and generally lower salaries where we live, we were each able to get onto the property ladder independently.

I would say this all came with sacrifices, but in reality we never missed what we didn’t have. Whilst our nursery bill is gut wrenching each month, we know it’s temporary, and we know the care and experiences our son has there is worth it. We are careful to plan our large expenditures and talk openly about them.

i work for a firm that hires school leavers for higher level apprenticeships, meaning we have people in their early 20s on very good salaries with no student debt. This is a fantastic opportunity but I do struggle to understand how they still say they cannot afford to save for (insert house / travelling / wedding) … I would guess that there’s a lot to be said for early engagement with regards to financial literacy, and the rise of subscription services eg Amazon Prime, & food delivery apps, which can easily tot up to considerable amounts across the year.

We have only inherited in our 60s. We bought a flat. We bought second hand old furniture except the bed. We shopped for an old cooker, and haunted jumble sales for things.

We struggled when the mortgage interest rate jumped from 3.5% to 17.5% and it forced us to move out of London to get a house, and were lucky enough to make a little to help, as our wages dropped too.
We did pass some money on to our children, but they will get the rest when we go, which will help them to clear their mortgages, but our grandchildren will be the ones who will get nothing passed down.

@Zebedee999 "It is how it is with every generation. No one knows the struggles their own parents had with their life as those things are generally hidden from their children."

wise words

** I've not read all.the comments.

But for us we've worked hard. Have a nice paid for home, cars and savings.
From a redundant miner , it was hard graft to re-educate and move up.the ladder.
Our idea was, find a house we could afford, a car that worked and a phone that phoned. No keeping up with the jones's.
Still waiting on the family money though.

Quite surprised and disappointed by the number of people commenting on here that they are comfortable and enjoy a good standard of living because they “work hard” and are well educated. This is very narrow minded and shows a degree of ignorance as to the decline in living standards and the growing economic divide in the UK.

My parents chose to spend on a private education for me believing it would be more valuable than a future inheritance (their view). I have a Masters degree and postgraduate qualifications and absolutely work hard, taking my job home most evenings and weekends as a teacher. Even at the top of the upper pay scale and with a leadership role I am struggling financially. My husband is well paid but, with 2 children, we have to be very careful. My friends from school who went into policing and nursing also find money is tight. I used to have a cleaner once a fortnight as my luxury. They earned more than me on an hourly rate.

Education and hard work do not equal prosperity any longer, sadly.

It's possibly that they see the difference an inheritance might make. £30 000 left by an aunt she hardly saw to a friend's daughter made a a massive difference when buying a flat. My grandparents had nothing to leave but my parents were lucky and were able to save. It's an odd feeling when at one point it looks as though you might inherit about £100 000, same for siblings, but all gone now in care home fees for my mum who's been in care since 2016. She's 92. It's not that I thought it was mine, obviously it was her money and she needed it, vascular dementia is an evil disease.

@whoputallofthatthere I completely agree. Most of the replies on here are ‘we’. It’s very tough as a single person having to do 100% of everything all of the time, on one income, and we are penalised for it. It’s especially tough with a chronic health condition. I’m in the same situation, you’re not alone, and you’re not failing at life. You’re doing the best you can. Some days I would give anything just to have someone make me a cup of coffee!

Please, please, please speak to the CAB today and appeal the PIP decision. They can guide you through the process and help you with the forms. Almost all of the claims succeed on appeal and you’d get back pay for the time that has passed.

Wish ppl didn’t go on about hard work securing rewards. Past generations worked very hard and still lived without nice clothes, fab holidays and good furniture. I worked but not always hard. My children however face soaring costs and high demands in the workplace, I feel so bad for them. It seems boomers were on the crest of a wave of prosperity and millennials have plummeted. The only thing I can do is share what I have.

It's never just money though. I know a few nurses who've recently left (mostly taken early retirement) and for them, it was ALL about working conditions, lack of flexibility, etc - none would have stayed for a pay rise. However, they would have stayed if they'd been able to work more convenient shifts, or if they'd been able to move sideways to different clinical areas, etc. They were basically told "it's this or nothing" by their managers with no negotiation nor flexibility at all. When one nurse says that, you think it's just a mismatch, but when you keep hearing it, over many months and into years, you realise it's a systemic problem within NHS management!

I think age comes into this a lot - I left school in the 80's with nothing at 16, and worked bloody hard, at some fairly badly paid jobs initially, but worked my way up, lived on fish finger sandwiches and bought my own house in the 90's, mortgage now paid off. It was pretty run down and needed modernisation, so more hard work to make it liveable etc. However, I think with the cost of living having risen so much and the house prices so much higher comparative to salaries, I think it'll be really really difficult for my children to be able to buy houses at all. When I got my first mortgage, for 3x my single salary, I could buy a 2 bed mid terrace for £35K. I was on around £12k, in a just above minimum wage job. Now, on a £20k salary (similar job type to what I had then) that would equate to a £60k house - those houses would now cost around £230k (I just looked up the road - that brought back memories!). So you'd have to be earning £80k a year for a 3x salary mortgage.

Before I bought, my rent was £350 pcm, for a 3 bed terraced house so around a third of my salary, but similar houses for rent are now £1400pcm which would be around 80% of salary, so even giving up on buying doesn't make it affordable. Even a very small 1 bedroom flat in that area is currently £950pcm.
Added to that, so many younger people have huge student debts, too - although I didn't go on to further education (other than night school several years later) if I had, it would have been fully funded.
So for those of us who were born at the 'right time', were lucky, worked hard, stayed employed and managed to buy in that recession when prices had dropped hugely, it was doable without any family help, but for the majority of people any younger, it's nigh on impossible.

I do think that house prices should have been allowed to fall or at least stabilise in the 2008/9 crash. We basically printed money (quantitative easing!!) to prop up the housing prices (which were an overinflated bubble at the time), which have just continued to rise over the subsequent decade (meaning an even bigger bubble), making the housing cost problem even worse. I think we should have allowed a more controlled plateau or slight fall over that decade. After all, leading economists at the time said that it would take the country a decade to get back to where it had been before the crash, which would have been bad enough, but to make the situation worse by pumping so much money in, to continue house price inflation, made the situation even worse and just caused a decade of squeezed incomes, squeezed public sector spending in other areas, increasing debt repayments, increasing interest, etc.

Gentrification is real!
Lucky are those who bought in these areas when they were less than desirable.