To think it’s very hard to live in the uk without inheritance or family money?

[Lifesucksthenyoudie]

Just that really. Social mobility seems almost impossible at the moment without a head start. I earn a decent salary (Dh doesn’t but that’s another post) but my standard of living is so much worse than my parents and my mother didn’t work until we were in secondary school and even then part time for peanuts. Nursery fees and mortgage alone wipe us out. I haven’t inherited any money (large family, no chance) and feel a bit stuck. Not after sympathy just interested to see if others feel a bit trapped. Why is our society geared up this way?

We deliberately chose to move to the West Country away from Kent so we could afford a house. There’s still starter homes for £125k but people want their instagram forever home as their first purchase. I’m not saying it isn’t hard but we didn’t have inheritance, shared a car for about 5 years etc. people make choices. My three cousins aged 22-29 all own homes. One is a midwife (moved up north from Surrey), one is married so 2 incomes in Bristol and the other is in the navy and his girlfriend works for an animal charity - they have a little house in Reigate.

Yanbu especially in the south east

The bigger factor about all this is having two incomes coming in, always has been in the UK, but especially these days. I haven't read the whole thread, but from the responses I've seen from those about having a mortgage paid off or being on the property ladder (or their kids), every one has referenced buying a property with someone else.

Basically, if you're single, not a very high earner and have no big family money coming in via an inheritance or allowance then you're fucked.

It wasn't simpler - it was just harder. Without vaccinations and access to decent healthcare or even proper nutrition, let alone the technology we have now, life was shorter and a lot more brutal. I don't think it's true to say 'people were satisfied with a simpler life' because they weren't, they were just a lot more focused than we are on not dying. That all changed in the aftermath of the Second World War when there was a lot of very rapid societal and technological progress. It's always easy to view the past through rose-tinted glasses but loads of it was pretty grim.

The only reason we live as comfortably as we do is because DH is a software developer working in finance and as such earns a 6 figure salary with a 30-40% annual bonus on top of that.

I only work PT and self employed at the moment because I home educate our son, but if I were to work FT the most I could get in my own professional field is around 40k.

Both DH and I grew up dirt poor (we'll get little or no inheritance between us) so both of us are conscious all we have now can be taken from us in a heartbeat. There but for the grace of god and really that applies to nearly everyone.

This is so sad. Nurses, teachers, social workers - all graduate professions which pay atrociously. If we all choose careers for money there will be no one to look after us when we get old. As s society we seem to think we need a brand new house fully furnished with a nice car. And to pay for that we both work as a couple and pay outrageous nursery fees. Because we are exhausted we need a holiday abroad so work extra to pay for that. And suddenly we are on a stressful exhausting rat run guilt ridden because we don’t feel we see our kids enough and also feel guilty at work when juggling children and career.
My parents in the 70’s didn’t do that. But we did not have the shiny starter home immaculately furnished and holidays abroad. One car.
You absolutely can bring a family up in a 3 bedroom house. Train your kids to not be materialistic.
And if you inherit that is great but use it to reduce your stress. Yes I am of an age that benefitted from being able to buy a one bedroom house at 4 x my salary at 16% interest in the early 90’s. But I had a second hand sofa,washing machine and other white goods and saved up to buy a bed -slept on the floor for 12 months til I had enough. Different generation and different priorities

Basically, if you're single, not a very high earner and have no big family money coming in via an inheritance or allowance then you're fucked.

Siblings both single have HA housing - so they manage for now - but we couldn't buy where they are and private rentals are about twice our mortgage payments.

The area did a big HA housing program in conjunction with developers that they manage to take advantage of - Tory strong hold but think even they are realising housing costs are a huge issue. I'm constantly astonished what 3 or even 2 bed terraced houses go for in the area but people keep managing to buy at those prices.

I don't think different generations had different priorities. My parents are WAY more materialistic than any of their children.

I agree it's possible to be more content with what you've got if you lower your expectations - but if you've been raised in an environment where there were more lavish holidays, a bigger house, better cars etc than you can afford, despite working your arse off, it's hard not to view that as a form of personal failure. It's true for a lot of the children of baby boomers though, including myself. My parents don't really understand why none of their kids are as well off as they are, despite having good jobs. They have never been able to grasp that things have got progressively harder for the generations following them, and I suspect on some level they think we're all just lazy! That does grate a bit tbh!

*laclochette · Today 09:04

@notacooldad I'm speaking generally on the assumption, which is reasonable but may of course be wrong, that the general situation is applicable to your family. "My family are fortunate outliers" is not a good argument against national trends, but I can see it's reassuring as it allows you to ignore or deny the wider situation.*
I'm not stupid enough to only look at my own families situation. I think it is down to demographics. Virtually all ds friends from primary school year are now young adults and with the exception of a couple are making their way through life and have families and mortgages homes.
Out of my group of friends only one has a child in rented accommodation and that is because he doesn't want the commitment of a house due to his job.He wants the flexibility to move around.
My nephew is the same and he lives in a different county.
So going back to the point of the thread To think it’s very hard to live in the uk without inheritance or family money?
my stance hasn't changed. I disagree. I'm not saying it's always easy but it doesn't have to be very hard and you don't always need family money or an inhetance to get on.

I can't agree with you, OP. My nephew and his long-term girlfriend bought a house within commuting distance of London where they both work last year. He is 28, she's a year younger. They worked evenings and weekends in order to save the deposit. It's not their dream home but they understand that at their age this is what you do — start with somewhere small and grim and work upwards. They're careful with their money, take cheap holidays if they have them (have a tent, go backpacking/ hostelling in the summer) and focus on saving. In five years, if things go to plan, they'll trade up to somewhere a bit nicer. Neither of them have had an inheritance or family help. I will try and leave them something in my will and their parents will do the same, thoguh neither set of parents is very well-off.

Are you aware of the situation for young people in Spain or Australia? Or all the other countries suffering a similar housing problem?
https://theconversation.com/what-are-young-australians-most-worried-about-finding-affordable-housing-they-told-us-218426#:~:text=Concern%20about%20affordable%20housing%20is,to%2024%20years%20of%20age.

https://english.elpais.com/elpais/2019/12/18/inenglish/1576671283_164627.html#

I think you've missed what I was trying to say..

Yes the world has moved on and change is important, but its a fact that millennial are the first generation to be worse off than their parents.

I'm not saying that it's not about they shouldn't have to work, more that it shows just how little benefit one 'decent' wage brings to a household. For the average wage that's supposedly around £35k, you need both parents working for a decent quality of life.

Also, I'm aware there are people who work hard and paid their own way, but there are far more people who are in a more comfortable position because of their parents/grandparents socioeconomic status. As previous posters said, the gap between rich and poor is getting worse, its far more difficult now to better yourself.

Degrees aren't a guarantee for a well paid job now, as more and more people go to uni.

My kids and friends' kids are in their early-mid 20s, and I'm really surprised at the number of their sane age friends who already have children, some more than 1. Those are kids who did well at school, could have gone to Uni for a career but didn't want to.

They do ok, but find it very hard and moan a lot. The mums are either SAHM or are working very PT which is understandable due to the high cost of childcare.

I know that this wasn't unusual at all decades ago, but circumstances were very different then. One earner usually was fine. Divorce rate was much lower.

Knowing how much harder life is nowadays, I don't understand why most young people dont wait until they are better established, in their later 20s or early 30s to start having children.

@Abeona you are falling into the trap of equating the one example you know with facts. The facts being that home ownership is falling dramatically, those that do own homes are more heavily concentrated in the over 55 age bracket meaning that the younger generation is being disproportionately impacted. The gap between rich and poor is widening, the number of people living in poverty is increasing. Your nephew is an example of someone succeeding despite the system, not proof that it isn’t broken.

I still think owning is preferable but yes rent laws should be reformed.
I didn't say that these people are my children, mine are sensible.
Saved up and bought their own house, no nails,lips, flash cars
I see them all around though.
Moaning they can't afford a house but driving a top range car.

Yes the world has moved on and change is important, but its a fact that millennial are the first generation to be worse off than their parents

It's in the news this week that Millenials will be the richest generation ever.

Knowing how much harder life is nowadays, I don't understand why most young people dont wait until they are better established, in their later 20s or early 30s to start having children.

Because there's no guarantee you will be better established if you wait until your thirties.

I think it depends where you live. I live south east and house prices are extortionate. A 2 bed "affordable home" is £315,000 cheapest. I am facing with a child and although I earn above minimum wage I cannot afford a mortgage on my own with a 20k+ deposit and my rent affordability means I have very few options available to me. I've looked at waiting until my equity will be nearer 50k and options aren't better then either. It's a struggle

I was 30 when I had my son. Then my "dh" slept with someone else. I now cannot afford a mortgage on my own and rent affordability means I have very few choices. Student housing and house share is abundant here neither of which is suitable with a child so any house that hasn't been brought up and slices into extra bedrooms are sky high prices. On paper I did everything right

It's a well-established fact that millennials are less well-off than previous generations were at the same age. The news reports refer to the expected transfer of wealth that will, in theory, occur for some millennials when their parents pass away in the next 20th years.

Yes I know but the facts remain they will be the most wealthy generation.
Hopefully the moaning will stop but sadly I doubt it

@Karensgoldleggings well it's not a fact is it, it's a projection? I imagine a large amount of that money will end up going on care costs. But that's beside the point really. The OP asks if it's hard to live in the U.K. without inheritance. Your comment neatly demonstrates that it is (although I'm not sure that was your intention)

No. No one I know or grew up with had parents who had a lick of money to spare for something so grand as an inheritence, and none of us lived in properties that our parents owned (most of us were council housing kids). We're all now in our 40s and doing fine off of our own backs.

As with all of the posts on these subjects, people who live in the South East where a bog standard small 3 bed semi that needs a load of work is nearly £500k or rent is £1,600+ a month (and people didn't buy didn't buy 20 years ago) say something different to people in the North. It's like two different countries in terms of cost of living, not even worth discussing one if you live in the other,.

Most people incur no or little care costs. It is dementia that usually drains all assets.
But most peoples care costs are a cleaner, a few adaptations and ready meals. Even if you need carers coming in as only one of the 4 parents/in laws in my family did, then some of this is paid through attendance allowance. Care homes are only for the very rich self funding, or for people with dementia that can no longer manage at home self funding and then council funded.
So most millenials whose parents own a home are going to get a larger cash injection than my generation ever did. I had nothing once I was 18.

We have never inherited or been gifted any financial help. I’ve been in full time work since I was 16 (now 51), I worked part
time around the kids when they were smaller and have been full time again the past 10 years. As someone else said the nursery fees are temporary.