Friends partner's comment

[brainworks]

A friend just called me to ask if she's AIBU

she is the main person that cooks in the house although partner and father of the kids in the house makes the kids dinner most of the time when it's just boiling pasta and putting meatballs in the air fryer after she's made the sauce

Anyway, they she is going through a lot at the moment and she was in bed almost all day yesterday and was down etc she said she then told partner in the evening around 6pm that everyone should have the leftover bolognaise in the fridge from the day before and he said

"Since you have been in bed all day, I thought you should be able to make fresh supper"

She is very upset about the statement, she said she feels belittled by the statement because just because she's in bed all day does not mean she's got to cook if she does not feel like. She told him off and he is saying she is over reacting.

Your Opinion pls

Woah! She's not a personal chef! He's a dick

He does not sound like a kind person.

That is what I told her that he is an entitled prick but not literally

Not the point but I don't know anyone in to who calls it supper.

He's being a dick, obviously.

In Real life. Not to

Also not the point, but if anyone rang me at 7.30 on a Sunday they ABU

What does "going through a lot at the moment" actually mean though? Is she ill? I guess it depends why she spent all day in bed and whether it was justified. Maybe he thought it was unnecessary for her to spend all day bed?

This!!! 100%

Hmm. Tricky. The issues seems to be she is usually doing the bulk of the meal thinking / prep and even when not up to it he couldnt think for himself. For that i would stop the cooking until it was equal.

but… id want a really good reason for my dh staying in bed all day and not engaging with family life on a saturday.

If she needs the day in bed then he should do it himself.

Yeah she’s being a bit unreasonable. She could do something to contribute to the day assuming he’s had the kids a day while she stays in bed.

I suppose it depends, as if my DH spent all day in bed while i looked after our DC then he expected me to sort tea as well, i would probably be a little bit peeved.

She must be going through a lot to spend the day in bed has she seen a gp?

Her husband was a dick they had a perfectly healthy meal ready to reheat??? No biggy I only let leftovers be leftovers for a day anyway if they aren’t eaten then they are binned!

I think if your friend is so down she needs to spend the day in bed, she has other problems of which her partners comment is just one. On the face if it, yes, it's an entitled, selfish and inconsiderate thing to say. But having lived with someone (a man) who would retreat to bed with 'low mood', it can be extremely frustrating, and I admit at times I'd snap like that too. If it were my friend I'd be concerned about her wellbeing in general. That's not to say she isn't married to an awful man as well, but I guess that depends on his overall behaviour rather than this one remark.

Well the kids do not need much attention & she said she had given them breakfast and he put the pizza in the oven for them for lunch. The kids have a routine of shuffling between doing sch work and homework on their computers and watching cartoons and playing games with each other

Moreover, they have bolognaise in the fridge for supper so is not as if there wasn't any meal for their supper

I think she is just exhausted, recently lost her 2 jobs & no luck yet getting a new one etc

I’m afraid I would not be happy with my DP lying in bed all day, unless for a medical reason.

‘Fresh supper’?! 😂

If my husband had spent the whole day in bed leaving me to look after the kids, I probably wouldn’t be all happy and smiles either. Is he knackered and wanting help with the kids?

I would be really pissed off if someone phoned me before 7.30 on a Sunday morning though which would solid my judgement somewhat!

if she’s almost never in bed all day then her H was U. if however it happens often, perhaps not.

I know!!! 🤣

Are you forgetting that there was a perfectly good meal in the fridge for supper?

She is not normally in bed and extremely active person even if her world is falling apart, she is still positive and active beyond belief.

Oh she said she was doing the laundry yesterday getting up to load up washing machine and hang clothes and reload washing machine otherwise dirty uniforms for the coming week

It’s all rather Jilly Cooper

‘not normally’ in bed, but how often is she? Was it a one off/once a year thing?

Why are they having bolognaise just before bed? What did they have for their dinner/tea?

@tacosforbreakfast I don't know what they had

But I am not aware that one can not have bolognaise & pasta for dinner/supper 🤷🏽‍♀️