Friends partner's comment

[brainworks]

A friend just called me to ask if she's AIBU

she is the main person that cooks in the house although partner and father of the kids in the house makes the kids dinner most of the time when it's just boiling pasta and putting meatballs in the air fryer after she's made the sauce

Anyway, they she is going through a lot at the moment and she was in bed almost all day yesterday and was down etc she said she then told partner in the evening around 6pm that everyone should have the leftover bolognaise in the fridge from the day before and he said

"Since you have been in bed all day, I thought you should be able to make fresh supper"

She is very upset about the statement, she said she feels belittled by the statement because just because she's in bed all day does not mean she's got to cook if she does not feel like. She told him off and he is saying she is over reacting.

Your Opinion pls

@fisherfighter

Yes,
Fresh supper 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Are they her kids? I'm surprised she checked out of parenting all day and he never talked to her about it.

Yes kids are both there biologically and she is 99.99% the sole carer for them even with him there.
She didn't check out on them all day, she made them breakfast and did the laundry which I guess takes hours altogether loading and hanging several loads 🤷🏽‍♀️

Op why did you ask if you’re determined your view is right? Did you just come on so folks could also call him an entitled prick? Are you single?

personally I’d not be happy if my husband stayed in bed all day and left me with rhe kids, and yeah I’d prob make a comment for him to get his arse up, unless there was a significant medial problem preventing it. Feeling down wouldn’t wash with me

So did you/she just go to bed for the day without telling anyone what was wrong?

Does he work?

@tacosforbreakfast
No he does not

That's a bit of a drip feed that you didn't mention.

Well, that's one hell of a drip-feed, OP!

It's a generational thing I think.
You've never heard of "a light supper" ?

Yeah this! I do however have to let DP have bed days/afternoons for medical reasons but it still stings saying that I really couldn’t lay in bed alday I’d be bored to tears! And having nightmares about the house being destroyed 😅.

So true

Also, we're only just finding out that this guy is unemployed op?🤨

For me if DH was sick then I wouldn't mind.

I guess if ye just didn't want to help and i'd been at work all day I might be a bit peeved.

I genuinely haven't (can't speak for the person you quoted). I would call it dinner if it was my main meal and tea if not - if, for example, I'd eaten my main meal in the middle of the day. If I'd had a lighter meal in the middle of the day that would be called lunch.

Supper is tea and a biscuit or a small snack before bedtime in my experience?

I think she's fine then.
He's a moany arse.

I call the main evening meal supper.

how long ago did she lose her job(s) and what else is going on in her life?

This is what I'm wondering.

I also find it hard to believe she's never opted out of family life, and taken to her bed before when she's feeling down.

If my husband made a habit of this I'd be beyond irritated unless he promised to see the GP.

If she's down from losing a couple of jobs would it not make sense to have a day at the computer proactively applying for stuff? I'd be annoyed if my partner spent all day in bed tbh unless he was sick

Personally I have breakfast, lunch & dinner.

@tacosforbreakfast I don't use the word supper myself. But I have heard other people using it. It's not that unusual.

Saying tea instead of dinner however, just makes no sense!

I haven't heard it before except for a snack before bedtime.

Anyway, the op left out a massive drip feed which is that this man isn't working.

Who owns the house/whose name is on the tenancy op?

So no one's working
Mum's in bed and Dad's moaning.
Are this family getting any outside support to help make things better OP?

Y massive drip feeds that she usually does almost all the parenting and that he doesn’t do paid work!

Yes, this all sounds pretty desperate for the children.

Isn’t if just. Why not, are they loaded? With the posh supper thing?

It sounds like she is depressed perhaps, and he is unsupportive or doesn’t understand.

but if there’s food already made in the fridge I’d be annoyed at being asked to make another meal,whether I was depressed in bed or not!!