This is not something I am proud of, and I am aware that I am going to come off as spoiled and entitled, but here goes.
I have a big birthday coming up- the type where you question all your life decisions. I live alone in a different country which I am pretty isolated in, and will be spending my birthday alone, so am already a little emotional about it.
My mum said she wanted to buy me something special. I am not big on gifts and normally she just sends me a big bunch of flowers which I love, but this was important for her. I have been burnt many times by her gift giving and then she gets upset when I don't like what she gives i.e. clothes, chocolate etc. We have very different tastes and to avoid situations like below I am very explicit about what I want. However its important to her to surprise people as that part of the reason she likes to give gifts.
I suggested a high value item from a specific manufacturer. These are extremely expensive new but are such good quality it is considered an investment, so was very happy to go second-hand. She agreed and we saw some items in a retailer, but when I looked up this retailer there are some buyer beware reviews about the quality and the price and I discussed it with her in Janurary.
I found an official re-seller approved by the manufacturer and have been looking online. I found some items that I really liked and sent them on. After chekcing them everyday there was one particular item which I still really liked, and sent a message saying this is what I would like for my birthday. A few days later it comes off of the website.
This morning I get an email from the first retailer telling me that they will send me the gift my mother has bought me........and predictably I hate it. Its is not my style and I would never wear it, was nearly double the price of the one I selected and because of the reviews I don't trust the retailer. She has bought it because at the very beginning I said it would be cool to have something manufactured in the year I was born- but I after looking at the options that was thrown out the window pretty quickly.
I was in floods of tears for 2 hours just through sheer repeated frustration of not being heard. After I pulled myself together, I realise my options are to just not say anything and feel like shit about the present and what it represents, to not say anything and buy me what I wanted anyway, or to say something before it is shipped and run the risk of being labelled ungrateful, spoiled etc. Also because the retailer is a bit dodgy there is the risk that she might not be able to get her money back i.e. exchanges only but as I don't trust the manufacturer there is nothing that I would prefer from them.
My parents are not hard up by any means, but as it was such a lot of money I chose the hard option and messaged her saying I was grateful for the effort but its not my style is there anyway we could get a refund. I also emailed messaged the retailer and asked them to hold off sending it. I am in a different time zone so she won't see the message until later.
So AIBU for telling the truth and causing her pain or should I have put-up and shut-up and be grateful that I got something similar to what I asked for.