To step in regarding 7yo's clothing choices

[Ilovechocolate87]

DD (7) has rather a habit of bunging on random clothes together with a crazy mix of colours and patterns, often with lots or clashing going on.I have gently tried to guide her before into maybe putting plain top or bottoms with a patterned top or bottoms but haven't pushed the issue if she has seemed even abit reluctant and I've always tried to let her make her own clothing choices where possible, ever since she was a toddler and began having preferences.

I grew up with a very controlling dad and am keen to not be that sort of parent to my daughter.I have had the odd blip where I have got abit annoyed at her (for example the day a couple of years back when she was all set to go to a mermaid party in her Ariel costume accessories then at the last minute pulled it all off in favour of just plain clothes) but mostly have been fairly flexible.

However i know i probably shouldn't compare but it seems that everyone else's kids her age are always in quite well balanced/matched outfits colour/pattern wise.Not sure if the parents are pushing or guiding them alot with what they wear or if they just naturally happen to understand more about what clothes match others.

I just wonder now she is getting abit older if I should be taking abit more ownership over trying to influence her decisions abit more (not what to buy, just what to wear with what) as i'm also conscious that i don't want her to grow up like I did without any hint of fashion sense, or how to style my hair etc, as i wasn't taught those sort of things and ended up always looking abit odd compared to my peers.

What is everyone else doing/not doing?

What is the problem with letting her wear what she wants?

You mention your dad was controlling- can you see any parallels with your behaviour?

If she’s happy with how she looks then leave her to it. One of my children is similar and wears lots of colour and patterns - I tell her she looks funky and people always respond positively to how she looks because she is confident and happy in her clothing choices. If your DD is the same then just enjoy her quirkiness.

I have a 6 year old who is similar. I let him do it - sooner or later, he'll undoubtedly go down the road of regular 'boy' clothes.
Live and let live however they're comfortable.
Plus I aim for them to grow up without feeling self conscious so this is hopefully the beginning of that.
My boy is all bold patterns, appliques, frugi and Toby tiger to the max.

Let her be crazy!

My DD is nearly 6 and similar - her approach to fashion is more is more !

Soon she will be dressed identical to all her friends like the teenage girls around here who all wear a cropped black puffa coat, black leggings and white sports socks Like it’s some kind of uniform.

Mine was exactly the same- I left her to it. She’s nearly 15 now and I love all the photos of her in her ‘rainbow’ clothes as she called them! Lots of different colours and patterns. No need to rush her to ‘style’ herself.

I'd just say "that doesn't match" but let her wear it.

She should be friends with my 8yo! She loves patterns and colours and they often clash massively. Although she is into dresses at the moment, so at least that's all the same pattern! My 5yo DS is similar too, and hates getting dressed so I roll with the clahing unless it's super important I.e. a wedding.

I understand your concerns, but I don't think you need to worry yet. I think it's great She has the freedom to wear what she likes for now and closer to secondary school you can think about it again if needed.

I left mine alone to make their own choices.

My 7 year old is the same. It really doesn’t bother me. As long as she is appropriately dressed for the weather and comfortable that’s all that matters.
We are going to a wedding tomorrow, she’s chosen a patterned dress and I ordered a plain cardigan and shoes to match, she was happy with that so no dramas when it matters to look smart.
I do draw the line at make up though.

I’ve got one like that, same age. I just let her go for it, as long as it’s weather/activity appropriate. She enjoys putting together outfits and exploring her own sense of style.

Leave her be, she is enjoying herself and they are just clothes. I love seeing little girls in random outfits, it’s fantastic. Girl’s should be encouraged to please themselves rather than other people.

I always leave them to it as long as it's weather appropriate. Exceptions are for formal occasions, e.g. attending a wedding, and even then I let them pick out something they like that is event appropriate.

I'm not sure there is a problem....guess i'm trying to determine if it is going to become one for her or not if i leave her to it and don't intervene.

And I get your point but I'm keen not to be too controlling and repeat what I experienced, just curious as to how many other children seem to be dressed in things that match more as I can't beleive their parents are all really controlling.
But maybe I just have a particularly quirky and characterful kid :)

Clothes weren't something my dad was actually that controlling about (unless they were inappropriate such as crop tops) but he didn't let me express my own ideas or value my preferences much in general about things, and was very judgemental, so that's what I'm keen not to replicate with DD.

As long as its age, weather and activity appropriate then I wouldn't be too bothered. They spend most of their time in school uniform at this age anyway

Yeah that's what I'm doing at the moment really

My kids never really expressed a preference about outfits. So I was lucky, I just picked them out for them!

My 6 year old is like this. Will put on random top and leggings with a bright dress on top. I let her be for the most part. Only time I step in is if we're going somewhere a bit fancier but even then I pick out 2 or 3 outfits and let her choose from them so she still feels like she's getting a say

Mine is too young for this at the minute but I would just give choices between two things if you'd like her to look a bit more cohesive.

Eg. 'Would you like to wear top a or top b?'

'Top b great! Would you like trousers c or d to go with it?'

”but he didn't let me express my own ideas or value my preferences much in general about things, and was very judgemental”

Isn’t your child expressing her own ideas in relation to the clothes and therefore her preferences? Aren’t you being judgemental in what you believe is acceptable? My kids are grown but I’ve always believed in ‘pick your battles’. Is her behaviour unsafe? Is she hurting anyone? If that’s no, celebrate a person who is happy and enjoying themself. And if anyone has an issue, that’s their problem not hers. Enjoy what sounds like a free spirit. She’s got her whole life for society to try and push her into boxes.

She’s going to judged by what she wears for her whole life. Let her have a few more years of bring free from it.

I’d leave her be with her choices. My eldest is nearly 12, sometimes she looked bonkers as a young kid and is honestly so fashionable now - she always loved putting outfits together.

Please don't push your daughter because of what you think is right.

My husband was dressed by his mum until he was THIRTY and when he moved in with me and I saw the full contents of his wardrobe, it was horrendous.

He hated most of his clothes. He was scared to wear anything except navy lest he got shouted at by her.

It's taken years, but he's finally happy in his clothes. He loves patterns and colours. Everyone thinks he's very stylish.

Your daughter will learn when she's ready. She will have her own unique style.

Embrace it.

Outside of very special occasions my only rule is decent and free from holes if leaving the house. I do confiscate clothing that is much too small (or migrate it to DS2’s dressing up box). DSs have had some interesting moments.

Let her wear what she wants! Over time she will hone her sense of style. Perhaps it will be exactly the same as it is now! And that's fine! Being able to express yourself as early as possible is great.

If my 7yo had free reign, she would leave the house looking like a prostitute🤣 I think ‘bad taste’ outfits(to us at least) just need to be rolled with. If it’s inappropriate, fur coat/uggs in summer, then I intervene but otherwise I let her go out mostly however she’s chosen. However, if asked, I say it doesn’t go/isn’t my style.