My grandma is 96, she has always been a very selfish person and was never interested in me as a child but favored my older sister who lived with her for about ten years. I was seen as an inconvenience.
So she became more frail and had help at home but we would go twice every single week for about four years to take her a meal, provide company and clean up. Even cleaning up her shit at one point. Then I had a baby..still expected to go even when we wanted to go on family days out, we couldn't as GM wanted a cooked meal in the middle of the day and not evening.
Now she's been in a care home for 18 months and slowly declining but my sister insists we go every week still, even when the care home has had outbreaks of norovirus and scabies and advises people not to go.
I WFH condensed hours 3 days 8-6, have two young kids, two dogs and DH is a teacher so works long hours and sometimes I don't have the time but am guilt tripped into it. DD works term time 4 hours a day, has late teens kids so no pressures there. I hate going, she doesn't remember if anyone has been and generally spends it complaining or talking nonsense.
AIBU to cut back on these visits? I resent both her and my sister every week and just feel rage towards them. I know it seems heartless but other family members have told me if they were me they wouldn't have done any of it but I am terrible with boundaries.