Christening DC if not religious

[ChoccieEgg49]

Friends of ours seem to Christen their DC although don't go to church. Neither seem religious that I'm aware of anyway.

I just wondered what people's thoughts are on this. Is it grabby for gifts etc, or fine, you don't need to be religious/a churchgoer?

I always assumed it was a religious thing, but maybe I'm wrong or times have changed 💁‍♀️

I'm not being judgy - just genuinely unsure

I don't go to church, but I do have some spiritual belief. Dp is an atheist. We settled on a blessing in church (not a Christening, theres thanks given to God and prayers, but no pledge to bring dc up in christian faith).

I'd prayed to have children, so it felt a suitable way for me to give thanks. That particular church is also a special place to me as dm is buried there, and I was christened there, so I wanted it there rather than somewhere random. I do feel a bit guilty that I don't go to church, just the fun stuff like Carol concerts, but I definitely wanted some service for dc there and a blessing felt like a compromise.

All children are Christian children as far as God is concerned.

For anyone claiming to be a Christian to object to a child being brought into a state of Grace by baptism is utterly absurd.

This is why all children can be baptised, because according to scripture they all should be.

I curious about people saying that babies shouldn't be Christened because it's taking away their choice to be Christian or not. But I thought you had the Christening as a "promise" to raise them in the faith but if they decide they want to be a fully fledged Christian they have to have their Confirmation ceremony - which is usually done at the age of 12 or so but could be done when older.
Have I got that wrong?

It depends on the denomination- the C of E works as you say,

others do a ‘dedication’ type thing then baptise once they are old enough to believe in their own right,

others don’t do anything until they are older- because they need to have developed their own faith

(they are often the denominations who don’t place so much importance on original sin, so there is no danger to the child by not baptising them asap.

It could be anything. Habit, tradition, older relatives putting pressure on , school places(or just having options),did it for one kid (for whatever reason) and don't want the others to feel "left out" and so on.

Why does it bother you so much?

My niece was christened because her mum was and they wanted to give her a shot at a catholic school. When she's older they'll start taking her to church. I think it's nice

Personally, I think you have a Christening if you want to raise your child in the Christian Faith. You vow to pray for the child, help them find faith and turn positively towards Jesus and away from sin and alternate faiths.

If you cannot and do not wish to undertake the vows then you would have a naming ceremony. I'm not sure why you would vow to do something you have no inclination of doing?!

I agree. It's disrespectful and hypocritical.

Perhaps they will raise their child with faith. Most Christian denominations have the concept of each person having an individual and private relationship with God as a central part of their doctrine, including the belief that prayer / encounter with God can take place anywhere at any time. Just because somebody isn’t off to church all the time or evangelising their beliefs to others doesn’t mean they don’t have or practice faith.

None of us really know the extent anyone around us is religious or not. I have an old friend who ordained as a vicar a couple of years ago and honestly, until she announced that she was off to Mirfield College as an ordinand I didn’t have any idea that she was deeply religious. I mean, I knew she was Christian and assumed she went to church for the big dates of the Christian calendar; but that level of faith and dedication? Not a Scooby. She was just quiet about her faith.

I really hate this. Just have a welcoming party for your child if you want one.

Of course it's a religious ceremony. The clue's in the name! I can't imagine anyone christening their child if neither of their parents are Christian. I've never come across this. What would be the point?

We had ours baptised. We are not religious, but we wanted them to go to the Catholic primary. Also, we wanted a do to mark the occasion with family and friends. Gifts are a bit of a nonsense - it’s all stuff they never look at again. But on the whole, a christening is a nice tradition.

I’ve been to many over the years, I don’t think a single one of the parents is remotely religious.

It’s not grabby for gifts unless you have a hankering for 30 children’s bibles.

I think if you feel loosely part of a church community and/or you want that for your children then it’s fine, whether or not the parents truly ‘believe’. A lot of people identify as Catholic or Church of England because of their upbringing as opposed to because they actively practice the faith now, and I don’t personally think there’s anything wrong with including your children in that.

Naming ceremonies, on the other hand, are grabby nonsense. Have a party to welcome a new baby if you wish, you don’t have to dress it up as a “ceremony”.

People around here do it to have more choice over schools. About time we put a stop to religious discriminatory in state education. But while it continues why not play the game.

We are Christian and attend a CoE church. If you have been christened then you can later be confirmed in your faith, but you cannot be baptised. DH and I both had full immersion baptisms as adults and it was amazing. I think the choice to follow Jesus resulting in baptism with water is so special. We have not christened our children so that they can choose whether or not to be baptised as adults.

Most clergy that I have discussed this with have commented that there is no biblical foundation for infant baptism / christening. It is a tradition based on historic high infant mortality and to avoid babies going to 'limbo'. I find it inconceivable that God would not accept children into heaven because of a rite of the relatively modern church...

That said, the vows in a christening are serious and I find it very disrespectful when people get their children christened without good faith. I have heard complaints that vicars 'talk about Jesus' and suggestions that people lie to church eg about godparents. Bizarre!

Some people it’s tradition, I’m not overly religious but it felt right baptising my children. To be honest it’s made me more attentive going to church. All DCs going to faith schools so plenty of masses and church events and I’ve become closer to my religion.

i know plenty of parents who baptise purely for access to schools. Talking to parents at my dcs school our parish priest refused to baptise their children as he didn’t believe they were doing it for the right reasons so they went to a church in their old town and applied for school places the day after the baptism. I also know non religious teachers getting their children baptised to get them into the school they teach at.

The only 2 outstanding primary schools in our area are catholic and they feed into the only outstanding high school. All over subscribe. Being baptised catholic gets priority so parents do it.

@yourenottgebossoofme thanks.
My niece and nephew had Baptist Dedications but I don't think either of them have actually been Baptised (they are late teens/early 20s now).
They went to Sunday School and Boys/Girls Brigade when younger. My niece sometimes goes to church with my mother in law - but thats mostly because mil needs someone to drive her there (their grandparents on the other side of their family were actually the more churchy ones - mil goes for the social side).
I don't understand why anyone would have a christening but then not teach their children about the faith. Either you're a Christian family or you're not - even if you don't attend church regularly.

In the CofE there isn’t a difference between christening and baptism- it’s a different word for the same thing.

The C of E also doesn’t believe in limbo. You die before baptism, you go to hell. That is why baptism has traditionally been done asap.

State faith schools receive the vast majority of their operating costs from the state just like other state schools.

The church community to some extent funds some faith based schools but the majority of additional funding is provided by alumni and the parents of the children who attend - just as with the majority of additional funding at other state schools. The ownership of the buildings is sometimes different, though maintenance and improvement often comes the state or fundraising - as with other state schools.

The Othering and exclusion that many faith schools practice mainly allows them to keep out poorer kids who are more difficult to serve and tend to use a greater proportion of funds, this is especially true in oversubscribed faith schools. The defense of these practices, hoarding resources and facilities by excluding those the church should be keen to serve, reflects poorly on the respective churches as several church leaders have pointed out.

I can't really understand why people make promises they have no intention of keeping. Ok, I get that if you don't believe in God you're not going to be worried about any possible divine retribution but it still seems odd to stand up in public and make promises in front if people who do believe when you don't.
I can understand why people want to celebrate a new baby and in the days when a Christening was the only type of ceremony available it made a bit more sense. But now it's easy enough to have a secular Naming Ceremony and you get to pick the venue that way too, so I can't quite see why non religious families would opt for a Church service.
I don't see it as anyone else's business though. If parents want their child christened and there's a Church willing to do it then it's nobody else's place to intefere. I just don't really understand why people with no religious faith would choose a Christian service though.

I don't understand why anyone would have a christening but then not teach their children about the faith. Either you're a Christian family or you're not

There can be variation within the family- I am a Christian, my wife is an atheist.

DS was baptised because it was important to me.

We aren’t a Christian family- DS is 10 now and is an atheist. He goes to church once a year when I drag him, but he doesn’t believe.

He learns about religion via RE lessons.

This is incorrect. Voluntary Controlled religious schools are entirely funded by the state. Voluntary Aided religious schools have all their running costs (teachers, equipment, heating etc) paid for by the state but only 90% of capital costs.

So the church either pays for nothing, or for a tiny fraction of the total cost of operating a school.

These schools serve rural communities that often have no other schools - it's absolutely immoral for them to select by religion - you might as well put a big sign up saying saying that Jews, Muslims etc are second-class citizens and even if they live closer to the school, Christians who might not live anywhere near it get first dibs.

I was christened when I was 6, and I chose to be. I had some form of belief or faith at the time, and that continued until I was in my teens when I came to the conclusion that this wasn't for me, and am now very much an atheist. I know it can't be 'undone' but I kind of want it to be.... As does my son!

iLs had their children christened although none attend church. They all had the big party afterwards.

We chose to have a dedication for ours (I do attend church), then they could choose adult baptism if they wanted - daughter did, son didn't.
None of the iLs came to our dedication services as "It wasn't a proper christening"