Christening DC if not religious

[ChoccieEgg49]

Friends of ours seem to Christen their DC although don't go to church. Neither seem religious that I'm aware of anyway.

I just wondered what people's thoughts are on this. Is it grabby for gifts etc, or fine, you don't need to be religious/a churchgoer?

I always assumed it was a religious thing, but maybe I'm wrong or times have changed 💁‍♀️

I'm not being judgy - just genuinely unsure

I think it's really inappropriate, same as marrying in a church. You're lying to yourselves and the child, if you are not genuinely Christian.

I’m Catholic, but am what is derogatory called a holiday Christian. I baptised my daughter Anglo Catholic, which isn’t connected to the Vatican.

my personal faith is very important to me but my relationship with god is personal. I don’t need to go to church to worship.

My partner is an atheist but is we have an agreement we made before we tried getting pregnant. My daughter will be raised as a Christian, such a accompanying me to church on religious holidays etc. When it comes time to be confirmed, she can decide then on whether she wants to continue in the faith or not.

Her godparents, (godfather especially) encourage her even as a baby in this, buy age appropriate religious childrens books etc.

I don’t have a problem however with non religious parents christening their children. Perhaps it will spark an interest later in their lives in exploring Christianity.

People do it as they identify as Christian even if not weekly church going. So they might go at Christmas or Easter.
They were Christened and it’s a tradition.
It’s a nice opportunity to celebrate as a family.
It can be required for some school applications - primary or secondary. Don’t underestimate this.

Meant to say I had my daughter baptised Anglo Catholic as I have strong issues with the Vatican and it’s handling of the child abuse scandals and it’s mother and baby homes.

Same here. We got our eldest christened as part of our wedding ceremony, controversial to some I suppose in itself. I guess the main reason was tradition, and the fact that all of DH's family travelled from a considerable distance so we threw it all in to one. His family are religious so I guess the wedding and christening being in the church was partly for them. I'm not religious at all but went along with it as I didn't really have any objections. However, our youngest hasn't been christened, mostly because we didn't get round to it rather than me not wanting it. Now they're both bigger and fully paid up atheists, the eldest is a bit miffed that he was christened against his choice while his little brother escaped! And no, I wouldn't do it now. Or the wedding. But that's a whole other story.

It also keeps options open. A no harm doing it type of thing. Then if dc later wants to go to the outstanding catholic high school v the special measures comp they are all set or in later life they meet someone more religious and want to marry in church they can.

I don't understand how anyone can know their DC are Christian when they're so young and this get them christened!!

I believe parents should wait until the child is old enough to decide for themselves whether or not they consent to being christened into an organised religion.

I think some people might get a child baptised to appease Grandparents who are religious.

YANBU none of mine are christened. I was raised Christian, now agnostic- ex put a lot of pressure on me to do so - he never went to church, neither did MIL who was the main one pushing for it - it was the done thing apparently and she wanted a party. I did take mine to church every Christmas Eve (old habits die hard) ex never bothered.

eldest is 21 now and became a Christian last year - she is going to be baptised this year. She’s an adult making a choice.

Being an aetheist I find the whole concept bizarre but if the parents are religious then it’s their choice. I suppose they could be bowing to family pressure if they don’t believe in god themselves?

Public naming ceremonies are an important part of welcoming a new child in many cultures. Christenings are religious for my family but we don't really have a way of doing them if you're Christian in this country, so I understand why people might want to have one even if they aren't churchgoers.

Is there a ‘good’ church school near them? Many do this to gain entry !!!

I have faith and so I baptised mine - during the main service - not about an event / party - but about my church community welcoming them into the fold… pretty low key - but very important to me.

I wouldn’t have dreamed of getting my boy circumcised - because I’m not Jewish or Muslim!!! To do so would have been weird and meaningless as it’s not my faith !

Personally I think it’s bonkers to Baptise a child if you don’t have faith… / intention to raise them as Christian’s

Amidst the non religious people I know, it's been a mix of grabbiness (wanting gifts, attention etc) and wanting kids to get a place at a CofE or Catholic school but not being religious in the slightest. It's a pet peeve of mine. Also embarassing because half the time they behave quite disrespectfully in the church as well (talking, laughing, joking, walking in and out during the service, on phones, taking selfies etc) or dress inappropriately for the environment (boobs hanging out, tight dresses barely covering bum, when the other usual churchgoers are all very visibly wearing sleeves, knee length, more covered up etc). Then declaring it was "boring", "went on a bit" or making fun of the vicar/priest and the usual churchgoers as most of the baptisms take place as part of the public Sunday service.

But it's pretty widespread these days and I'll probably get flamed for being honest, not that I care one bit.

I've heard people say "no one would be getting their kids baptised if it was only religious people going" but the Catholic church in my town has about 300 people a week just at their midday Sunday Communion (I think they have a few other services at the weekend too) and it appears to be a mix of families, single people of all ages including lots of young men 20s/30s and elderly people so I don't think that's the case at least where I live. No school attached to it either. Though it may help that it's in between a few decent pubs lol! Some colleagues I know (same sex) got their kids baptised there recently, having been turned away elsewhere, the priest said that he never turns a child away for baptism but they must make a firm commitment to raise the children as Christians and wouldn't baptise until they'd been going every week for 6/8 weeks. They did last year and have never been back since the baptism day.

You say they are "not religious". Do you mean that they don't go to church but are perhaps baptized as Christians themselves? Or do you mean "not religious" in the sense they are atheists, aren't baptized themselves etc?

I think people who don't go to church but have their children baptized do it for many reasons:
a) they are baptized Christians themselves and still feel a connection even though they no longer attend services. It's continuing the tradition in their family. Perhaps they are culturally Christian even if they no longer believe.
b) could be to avoid fall out with other family members such as grandparents who want the child to be baptized
c) lingering deep-rooted superstitions over generations - child goes to limbo if they die without being baptized - probably a subconscious superstition. They have their child baptized just in case.
d) they want to have a formal naming ceremony for their child in a nice setting with family and friends gathered around
e) they like the idea of having godparents for the children
f) they want to get their child into a high-performing school which prioritizes children baptized in a particular faith

I personally find it a bit odd, I’m a Sikh, are two children are raised in the Sikh faith, but there will be zero pressure to ever recieve amrit and do anything Sikh if they don’t want to, so I do find it weird when young children are made members of a club they can’t undertand.

Some people consider themselves to be broadly Christian even if they don't ever attend church or ink attend for events x such as Chris beings and marriages etc
As my aunt used to say some people only attend church to be Hatched ,Matched and Despatched.

Maybe they wanted to give the children choices for the future. You cannot be a Godparent if you have not been christened for example.

Neither my brother nor me christened our kids. My brother & I are christened but I think our parents only did it because of tradition rather than any ties with faith. My parents now (70s) are agnostic and I'm a atheist!

You cannot be a Godparent if you have not been christened for example.

You can be baptised at any age though, doesn't have to be as an infant. If someone is desperate to be a godparent (presumably because they are religious themselves and want to guide a child in the Christian faith as Godparents are supposed to be) then they can be baptised as adults.

Personally I think it's a bit bizarre but I wouldn't judge anyone who decided to do that. I think there are a lot less non Christians getting their children christened or baptised these days since non religious naming ceremonies were introduced.

We had a thanksgiving service for our children as babies and then dc1, dc2 and dc4 decided to get baptised when they were older.

I would guess that some people do it for cultural/traditional reasons, and may also be thinking that in future it may help if the nearest over-subscribed school is C of E. Though having said that, my Gdcs have not been baptised and their C of E primary didn’t ask - it was purely down to catchment area.

Surely if the kids cared about being godparents they could get themselves Christened when they were old enough to make that decision for themselves. Should they also be indoctrinated into the local Mosque and temple in case they want to be Muslims or Sikhs in future?

I feel this way too. Once you're able to make an informed decision yourself. Disgusting that people buy into religion for school choices really imo

My decision was based purely on school choice and Catholic school policy dictated that we had to have a baptism certificate for each child to attend school, but we were not participating Catholics we got married there to avoid mine causing a scene as my husband was CofE 🤣😂and once told the kids that he was God, that he made the bread them and he put the bread on the table so he must be 🙄first day in school and the local priest asked my daughter who is god? She said my dad thinks he his🙄😱I could have crucified him when I came off the phone telling her teacher he’d been joking!