Christening DC if not religious

[ChoccieEgg49]

Friends of ours seem to Christen their DC although don't go to church. Neither seem religious that I'm aware of anyway.

I just wondered what people's thoughts are on this. Is it grabby for gifts etc, or fine, you don't need to be religious/a churchgoer?

I always assumed it was a religious thing, but maybe I'm wrong or times have changed 💁‍♀️

I'm not being judgy - just genuinely unsure

We are not religious but our parents were. My thoughts were that it was harmless, traditional, the baby wouldn't "catch" religion and it meant a great deal to their grandparents.
There was no party or presents involved, we just did the ceremony. My mum was so thrilled, the baby didn't care and DH and I were indifferent.
The DC went to a village school with strong church connection and that didn't harm them either.
Both DC are adults now and atheist.

I hust assume they are either Christian or thinking ahead to schools. The first is fine, the second isnMt.

I'm not Catholic or remotely religious but we live abroad in a very Catholic country, and PILs would be disappointed if dc weren't christened - for them it's a big family event. I don't have a problem with it if it makes them happy. They're organising it, though! We won't be doing the follow-up ceremonies when older (forgotten what these are called) unless dc ask to do them though.

I'm a Christian. The only part that would bother me is that the parents and godparents have to make certain promises as part of the ceremony that affirm their religious beliefs. If they're deliberately lying, in church, that doesn't sit right with me. But, I appreciate that if they don't believe in God, it's no big deal to them.

I have no problem with church weddings for those who aren't Christian as there's no such faith-based promises.

I also think the church should always be welcoming to all people at all times, as Jesus was. So we shouldn't be turning people away on the basis of faith any more than we should turn them away on the basis of any other characteristic. Plus, you never know how God might use the opportunity to plant a seed.

I’m not a believer.
My in-laws aren’t. Had I not christened my children my in-laws would have worried about them going to hell, like properly worried, so that’s one reason a non religious person may do it.

All sorts of reasons why people who don’t seem to be religious get their children Christened.

Some people you’d never think were religious believe, they just don’t do anything public (and often little private) about it, they just sort of assume there is a God, that he is the Christian God and that’s all there is to it. Others are pressured by family. Some are unsure and think there’s no harm in it, just in case. Others are savvy about schools and want to maximise chances in the future (and personally I think it’s more disgusting that tax payer funded schools are allowed to discriminate against people who haven’t been Christened than it is for someone to try and game that system). A few might just like the ceremony and party (much like many people who get married in a church). And others may not have faith, but they do value the social bonds formed or strengthened by rituals like Christenings.

It really bugs me when people do that. People use a church near me because it has lovely views 🙄 a couple I know that christened their child there recently were asked by the vicar to attend some church services and when they were telling me about it they took the piss and said "it was really weird" so disrespectful!

Some people are Agnostic - they don't know for sure in their mind whether there is or isn't a God. So, if there isn't, it doesn't make a difference whether their child is baptised or not, but if there is, it's worthwhile doing it; kind of a Theological Risk Assessment with

no baptism+no God = no problem,
no baptism+God = major problem,
baptism+no God = no problem,
baptism+God = all is good (with the caveat of a few awkward questions to answer at the Pearly Gates about why you only turned up for a baptism and didn't do the rest).

The church pretty subscribes to a similar logic

no baptism+no belief = you're all in trouble
baptism+no belief = you might be in trouble, but your kid is going to be OK
no baptism+belief = you're all in trouble and you know it
baptism+belief = all sorted
baptism as adult = great
baptism as child = better because nobody knows if something's going to go horribly wrong before they reach adulthood

We are not religious however if the infants school in our village was oversubscribed we certainly would have christened DCs as it prioritises children christened in the parish over others. So basically, if it ever gets to the point of being oversubscribed, a child who doesn't live in the village but was baptised in the church would get priority over a local child.

Which I find insane - a publicly-funded school, and the only one in the area, can legally prioritise children of one religion over another.

In the cases I've seen, its to get kids into schools. In Ireland, obviously there aren't enough Educate Together type schools, so kids have to be baptised to get in. I'd rather home school than expose my own to that nonsense.

Whist I think Christenings and Baptisms are important parts of family cultures, I also think its wrong for someone who declares themselves atheist to Christian or Baptise their children. Its appropriation and 9 times out of 10 there will be a difficult to get into RC school with an outstanding rating as the motivation.

If not religious it is an extreme odd and pretty disrespectful thing to do in my mind.

I didn't have my children christened. I'm a Christian.

It was more important to us that our children chose for themselves. It's up to them if they want to follow the same path.

So we had them "dedicated" when they were small. At age 16 both dd1 and ds opted to be baptised in our church by full immersion. Dh was able to be part of the baptism for dd1 and me for ds.

Dd2 thinks it's all a load of bunk and doesn't want a baptism (she's now 20). Her choice.

I'm so glad our kids were able to decide for themselves!

@Tempnamechng I don't think its wrong to jump through hoops, even if they are complete nonsense, to get your child into your local school. All these CoE schools and Catholic schools are 90%+ funded by taxpayers - the actual funding provided by the church itself is nominal and sometimes zero as the church just owns the buildings. How would you feel if your taxpayer-funded local hospital, or GP, prioritised patients of a particular religion?

If you live in a rural area chances are your local school is CofE and there is no other choice.

I wasn't christened. My parents said it was my choice when I grew up. I never have been. Never even considered church wedding. Register office wedding, sons not christened. Husband and I both atheists.

I've known people do it because there was a family expectation, they didn't give a shit but admitted it was worth it for the gifts.

And yes, I judge them for that.

All for show, SM, gifts and the party just like baby showers and gender reveal parties.

It's hypocritical if you have no faith and dishonest if you have no intention of keeping the promises made. And no, 'teaching them to be good people ' doesn't count.

My mum would have been devastated if we hadn't had dc christened. We're not religious (and neither are any of our godparents!) but it was a pretty harmless way of keeping her happy.

I was raised Catholic and DH is an atheist. We weren't sure how we were going to raise DS.
We had him baptised. I was still a believer at the time but my faith was massively waning. I'm now agnostic and DS does not go to Catholic school because it feels wrong to push him into a religion that neither of us believe in. I've massively changed my view on religion all together now so DS can make up his own mind.

The thing is the churches own the schools. Religious schools don't receive the same funding as state schools. The church communities / congregations pay towards the upkeep of the schools and provide staff / volunteers to carry out special lessons, Masses and pastoral care. Its wrong to push out Christian children by pretending your dc is Christian ( many faith schools are oversubscribed).

Lots of people don't go to church but that doesn't mean that they don't believe in God. Sometimes it's just family tradition and a nice occasion to celebrate and for everyone to see the baby. Each to their own I think!

I’m an atheist so didn’t get married in church or have either of the DC’s christened. I’m actually a little annoyed that my parents had me christened but I guess it was the “done thing” in the 70’s 🤷‍♀️

I understand why baptism to please grandparents happens. I don't like it being done as the start of trying to get into a good school, to me it is akin to obtaining something by deception.

I supported the law that allowed non-religious venues for weddings.

To me it’s a religious thing . I was brought up in a religious home but am not religious anymore - DC are not Christened