To not look after ILs dog?

[Flowersandforests]

IL’s are going away for a week in a couple of months and have no one to look after their dog so they’ve asked me and DH.

I don’t like dogs - and ILs know this. DH said no straight away as it would be me having to do the majority of the dog sitting. However his 2 younger sisters (who are away at the same time so can’t look after the dog) have got involved and are saying we are being really selfish and it shouldn’t even be a question that we would do this for the ‘family dog’.

DH moved out years before the dog arrived - we’ve never looked after it before or even taken it for a walk. I have very begrudgingly let ILs bring the dog to our house when they come over as they can’t leave it on its own, but I honestly hate it. I can’t stand all the dog hairs, they get everywhere.

ILs haven’t asked again but said they’re very disappointed we said no. But DH’s sisters will not shut up about it !

DH has stood firm but is now saying we need to be the ones to find them alternative options and then pay for it. AIBU to think none of this is our responsibility and they all need to back off and accept we’ve said no?!

If the sisters care that much, they can look after it.

100% not your problem

Their dog, their responsibility. And his sisters need to wind it in and mind their own business.
Absolutely no way should you be paying anything….don't start something that you will have to continue.
If they can’t find anyone they put the dog in kennels like anyone else does. Or they don’t go away.
They can be as disappointed as they like… you don’t like dogs you won’t look after it, end of.

Why would you have to pay that's insane! They should have arranged dog care before booking a holiday.

Did your husband ever agree (in principle) to looking after the dog?

Have your in-laws been going through very tough times and/or making significant sacrifices to help out you and your family?

If the answer to those is "no" then I don't see why you should entertain the idea for a moment.

I suppose if you are very wealthy and they are struggling financially and this is the first holiday they've been able to afford in years, you could quietly offer to pay. But the SILs have no right to demand you do, even if that's the case!

They're being VERY unreasonable.

Why should you look for and pay it? Dog sitters are online. They knew you did not want to do it. It is your DH that is saying you have to make the arrangements though, tell him you don’t.

And if you do not want a dog in your house when they visit, say so. It can be tied up outside or stay in a cleanable room like the downstairs loo. I don’t want dogs on my soft furnishings, and I can smell most dogs if they come too close.

I love dogs and used to have 2 of my own. I would never have dreamed of farming them out to someone who didn't even like dogs!

Surely they must know someone who'd have the dog? I often look after friends' dogs and I enjoy having them to stay.

If they don't know anyone, they'll have to stump up for kennels. Your DH is crazy to to think that you should cover the cost of their dog being cared for, and to make the arrangements.

@Flowersandforests

i think YUBU not to like dogs, but I hear these weird people exist.

🤣🤣🤣

but in all seriousness, their dog, their problem really, but helping family is important too, if it's mutual.

could your DH go & stay at their house?

Is it really beyond you to have the dog for a week? DH can clean the house too to tie once it's gone!

I wouldn't be paying their kennels or whatever though.

and I'd say it's a one off, in future arrange dog care before booking holidays!!

Your DH needs to say it’s not my dog. Mum and Dad got it after I left. I don’t have time to look after a dog. It’s not my responsibility so we won’t be looking after it. And then shut down any more conversations.

No way, I don't do dogs and wouldn't be caving on that for anyone.

No way would I be spending money on someone else's dog! Don't do it else you're setting yourself up with other major issues

Family dog my arse. It is the in-law's dog and hence their problem to solve.

I have a dog, but wouldn't dream of imposing him on anyone else under duress.

Send links to local kennels. DO NOT pay for it

I am a crazy dog lady but totally respect that you are not keen on dogs.

no means no - this is not your problem.

as dh’s sisters have such a vested interest in all this - let THEM sort out care / cancel their plans to have the dog.

it was fine for in-laws to ask - but it was also fine for you to decline.

dob’t allow yourself to be bullied / made to felt bad and certainly don’t pay!

sorting dog care is part of bring a pet owner - it is not your job!

Dog ownership comes with the responsibility and cost of sorting out holiday care arrangements. Only a self-absorbed idiot would think they can foist their dog on other people who don’t want to look after it just so they can either save money or the dog have a home-away-from-home experience while they are on holiday.

They either pay a pet sitter or kennels, or ask their other family and friends to look after them. Like everyone else does.

Nobody who cares even slightly for their dog would go away and leave him or her with someone who hates dogs, it’s madness.

It’s also not fair on you, and it’s not your problem - they need to book a house sitter or not go away.

Wtaf. Thats batshit. No way would I be paying for it.

There's no way you have to find them an alternative or pay for it ! It's their dog not yours & you don't like dogs anyway so it's your call. They decided to go away without the poor dog, the sisters should STFU as well it's nothing to do with them ,they don't get to decide.

It can go in kennels. We don't have anyone to look after ours if we go away so we pay because he's our responsibility

Wait, your husband now also thinks YOU are responsible for paying for it to be looked after?!

Surely not.

People who own pets can't just bugger off on holiday and assume their relatives (who don't like and didn't choose to get a dog) will look after it!

If the sisters feel that strongly, they can cancel their own plans and stay home with it. It's not the family dog (which implies it's your DH's childhood pet), it's the in-laws dog!
Not your responsibility. Tell your h to stop being so bloody wet!

Thank you everyone, I’m glad I haven’t totally lost grip on reality here !!

DH said no straight away - he has a job where you can’t do it at home and the dog can’t be left so it would be all on me.

He’s started to mention arranging & paying because his sisters will not leave it alone & he’s trying to keep the peace. I’m adamant the we shouldn’t get involved

They are all barking mad......

Honestly if my DP came up with that suggestion I'd laugh in his face! It's really not your problem @Flowersandforests

in laws dog, their responsibility. It is not a family dog. Kennels are a perfectly acceptable option and not one you should be paying for because you won’t look after it.

stand you ground on this one. Is it the first time they have asked?

DH has stood firm but is now saying we need to be the ones to find them alternative options and then pay for it.

Is he out of his fucking mind? Hell would freeze over before I paid to have their dog looked after. Also, stop allowing the dog to come over to your house. The whole family is nuts.