To not look after ILs dog?

[Flowersandforests]

IL’s are going away for a week in a couple of months and have no one to look after their dog so they’ve asked me and DH.

I don’t like dogs - and ILs know this. DH said no straight away as it would be me having to do the majority of the dog sitting. However his 2 younger sisters (who are away at the same time so can’t look after the dog) have got involved and are saying we are being really selfish and it shouldn’t even be a question that we would do this for the ‘family dog’.

DH moved out years before the dog arrived - we’ve never looked after it before or even taken it for a walk. I have very begrudgingly let ILs bring the dog to our house when they come over as they can’t leave it on its own, but I honestly hate it. I can’t stand all the dog hairs, they get everywhere.

ILs haven’t asked again but said they’re very disappointed we said no. But DH’s sisters will not shut up about it !

DH has stood firm but is now saying we need to be the ones to find them alternative options and then pay for it. AIBU to think none of this is our responsibility and they all need to back off and accept we’ve said no?!

OP Repeat after me ‘the dog is not my problem, you need to book alternative doggy care - pet sitter or kennel.’ And repeat …ad infinitum. Best of luck.

I have cats, I do ask friends and family to look after them when we are away but friends have said no and I am completely fine with that, it's my responsibility. I tend to ask family before I book a holiday and if they aren't around I don't book or I take into account i have to pay for a cattery. It's great if people are willing to help with a pet but the responsibility sits with the owner and no one is obliged to help. I personally wouldn't have a dog in my house (I couldn't even if I wanted to, allergy and cats) so it would be a hard no from me although I'd be prepared to pop in twice a day and feed a friends dog if asked.

Nah, I'm a dog lover but I'm with you 💯. They shouldn't have booked the holiday before they'd sorted the dog. If you choose to get a dog, you need to organise and pay for someone to look after it when you go away on holiday. It's a pain and it's one of the reasons why people choose not to own them. But it's your PILs responsibility and noone else's. I wouldn't dream of asking a family member who didn't like dogs to look after ours, the thought would just never enter my head. And you and your DH paying for the care of it is bonkers.

I love dogs and I love holidays, but this is not your problem. They need to find, and pay for a solution, not you.

At an absolute stretch I would volunteer DH to go and live at their house for a week, with the caveat that they sorted 9-5 doggy daycare, if he's hell bent on getting involved.

But they really should be able to hear a No, that's not going to work for us, sorry, and that be the end of the matter. Not really a dog issue, more of an overstepping boundaries issue.

No to looking after the dog, it’s not your dog.
As for finding an alternative and paying for that alternative, also a hard no. Not your dog.

You’ve said that they aren’t taking no for an answer and their “flying monkeys” a.k.a your Sil’s are also getting involved I’d be saying to DH that you’re going to send a message to the whole family saying something like
“Hi all, we were asked to look after Dog while PiL go on holidays. We politely declined the request on a number of occasions. We will not be looking after Dog. We would recommend that PiL try to find kennels for boarding but again this is our advice and we’ll not be paying for this either. Please don’t ask us to look after your pets. We’re also now a pet free home so if you’re thinking of coming to visit, please leave pets at home.Thanking you”

DH has stood firm but is now saying we need to be the ones to find them alternative options and then pay for it.

He's got to be kidding!

It's their dog, their responsibility.

Do not pay for their dog!!

I wouldn't engage with them any further. Their choice to get a dog they need to sort it

If your husband wants to find an alternative then I would let him crack on. Don't get involved or offer any money.

How is their dog your responsibility? They decided they wanted a dog, it shouldn’t then be assumed that family members will look after it. There are plenty of good kennels, home boarders and pet sitters, it’s absolutely up to them to sort.
Can’t believe anyone would expect you to sort and pay for this when it’s not your dog, nor your responsibility. It’s not like you agreed and then changed your mind?!. They shouldn’t have booked a holiday without sorting the arrangements for their dog first. Absolutely not your problem.
you’ve said no, job done.

I’d also suggest looking at the costs for the care of the dog before your husband decides to pay. Home boarders are a lot of money, and kennels aren’t exactly cheap either.

Not your problem. And don't let them bring the dog to your house. It's your home and you don't like dogs. Don't be bullied and cajoled into fixing what is ultimately the problem of another pair of adults.

Have you told dh you(as a couple) are not paying for kennels for a a dog that is absolutely not your responsibility?

The fact that the sisters think it is the OPs responsibility and the DH agrees does make me wonder if the parents provide a lot of support and are expecting a little reciprocity?

@Haydenn honestly we don’t ask IL’s for anything. SILs are both obsessed with the dog and do usually look after it which is why they’re being so pushy about it this time

He can look for alternatives. But not to pay for it.

One words - kennel

they have two months. They could even get a house sitter who does dogs.

if you get a dog you are 100% responsible for it. If it was an emergency then maybe… at a push…

you are entirely reasonable and shouldn’t be saddled with logistics for an alternative either

I have pets and no way IN HELL would I leave my beloved animals with someone who hated them. I want someone who would take good care of them, who enjoyed spending time with them and who would be kind to them. Not someone who hates them and who would likely be mean to them and treat them badly.
Your inlaws need to find a dog sitter and pay for it themselves

We have dogs, but no way would I look after someone else's. Their dog, their responsibility, their financial burden.

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