How do you feel about your adult children asking for lifts?

[ireallycantthinkofaname]

If they aren't confident driving the distance yet and there's no viable public transport options?
Petrol money covered

Well there's only one way to get your confidence so I'd encourage them to drive themselves but obviously I'd never see them stuck.

I'd do it for my kid in a heartbeat.

surely you just give them a lift if you can I mean it depends the distance obviously but if you can you should,

It'd depend on what else I had to do tbh.

They'll never get confident with it if they don't do it. I'd encourage them to take the bull by the horns and get on with it.

Insure them on the car and they can share part of the drive

I'd do a few runs together to get their confidence up but from experience the more they put it off the longer it'll take them to get confident

Driving is essential here, dire public transport.
My dcs were encouraged, supported.
We co-piloted routes, made excuses to go and they drive.
Worked for our two.

If they can drive then the only way they’re going to build confidence is to do it. If they want a lift because they want to drink and can’t get a taxi / bus then if you’re willing to do it that’s fine.

Agree with sharing the driving for a few trips, especially if motorways involved.

I don't mind them asking. I can't always do it.

Depends on circumstances.

What and why are they going to this place? How do they envisage getting there if you don’t drive? Did they book the event without checking whether you can take them or not?

I don’t feel obliged to give adults lifts. They should get themselves around. Unless there is a quid pro quo

My eldest drives himself sometimes I get a lift into town or sometimes I give him a lift into town, usually if he’s planning a few drinks. But otherwise he drives himself, 18 yo is learning to drive so still gets the odd lift if it is convenient to me, we have a bus stop virtually outside, he has free bus transport too!

I'd just give them a lift like I to do if my extended family members need lifts.

Ours all drove when they were 17/18 and we accompanied them on longer journeys for them to gain confidence. The only time they asked for lifts is if they were going to be drinking, we don’t live on a bus route and taxis are scarce, we signed up for it tbh as it was our choice to live where we do. If it was lack of confidence then I’d offer my support to be a passenger if they had a car. We never asked for petrol money. Everyone’s circumstances are different and you’re not giving much information to give a proper answer tbh.

My eldest is way more confident than me, she'll drive anywhere in the country as long as she has sat nav. Makes me feel stupid actually! Her sister is learning and I think she'll be the same.

If it's a lift because they're going out and need dropping off or picking up we don't have an issue. The eldest will offer to do the same for us if we want to go out

If you are insured on each other's vehicles I'd offer to go with them - they do the driving but you are there for support. Then you drive home again, pick them up later, they drive home. After a few trips hopefully they'll have the confidence. Make sure to play your music and schedule some slightly annoying topics of conversation so they don't get too comfortable 😂

I’d tell them what I constantly tell my sister: you have a license and access to a car so drive yourself. They can thank me when they are older and drive anywhere and everywhere without worrying about it, like I do.

I'd sit next to them while they drive. It's your job as a parent to help your kids become well balanced adults, driving anxiety is your area of responsibility imo.

Can you go with them but make them drive their leg of the journey and support them?

Agree with pp that it depends on circumstances. A one of visit to somewhere they haven't been before on a tricky route, not an issue. Taking them to and from work every day - they need to get used to the drive themselves or use public transport

How old? Just 18 and passed their test?

With me it was usually the other way around. Giving parents a lift.

Depends on so many things.

Lifts to where ?

For what ?
At what time ?
Is it there and home again or are they expecting you to drop them, go home, then fetch them later and, in effect, do 4 journeys ?
How much of your time would this take ?
How old are they?
How long ago did they pass their test ?
Is this a one off, with mitigating circumstances, or an on-going situation ?

Context is key.

From the title, I assumed you meant dropping them off somewhere so they can have a drink - which I'd happily do if I were free, as they would do for me . Your opening posts implies something different though.

So you mean to somewhere long distance ? My DS is early 20s, working and no longer living at home (but only the other side of town). He doesn't drive . Quite often asks for lifts back from work if he's worked late or bad weather - if I'm not doing anything else then I'll always pick him up, as would his dad. Unlikely to take him long distance though .

Sorry I should have clarified I'm writing from the perspective of the adult child, not the parent - event is city centre about an hour and a half away, and all the driving I've done so far is (very) rural around the local roads. It's an annual event this will be my second time attending.
No drinking involved, I'm teetotal and it's an event in the day anyway. Not actually sure who's car would be best to take yet, I'm insured in my mum's and she's insured in mine.