How do you feel about your adult children asking for lifts?

[ireallycantthinkofaname]

If they aren't confident driving the distance yet and there's no viable public transport options?
Petrol money covered

You weren't asking me, I'm different poster and I don't have adult children but the sentence you wrote made absolutely no sense.

Either way, I can see what that poster was talking about. A minimum 3 hour round trip hanging around all day at best, a 6 hour trip back and forth at worse is massively unreasonable and I think I'd be embarassed to even consider inconveniencing a parent so much. And I do loads for mine!

@All2Well it does. Does that poster not ask their children to do things for them? Or is it that they can't be bothered to help their children but expect their children to do everything for them?

No. Your original sentence did not make sense at all.

You said "Do YOU ask your adult children to do things for THEM?"

Now you are saying "Do you ask your adult children to do things for YOU?"

Which DOES makes sense but your original question did not.

I think you are reaching more than a little with your assumptions about a pp. Most adults attempt to be as independent as possible, whether adult child or
parent of adult child. Unless elderly or disabled most adults don't make demands of their grown up children - especially not demands like OPs.

A 3 or 6 hour round trip is a very unreasonable, selfish request for a jolly from an independent adult with a car and a driving license. I'd guess something had gone wrong if an adult child demanded that from a parent (helicopter parent?) and quite frankly, it IS embarrassing.

And as I say, I do a lot for my parents. But I wouldn't be so brass necked as to make such a demand of them no matter how much I do for them. I'd either not go, get over my fear of driving or use public transport.

@All2Well god forbid somebody makes a typo that is then corrected.

Fair enough if it was a typo, but the post is still there, it wasn't corrected. That's
why I asked what on earth it meant. Then you insisted it did make sense when it still didn't.

Anyway, bye, have a nice night 😀

My top tips would be to "drive" the whole way on Google maps Street view, so you get a feel for the way.
If it's possible, drive down the evening before (set off at 7pm or so) and get a cheap premier inn outside city. The roads won't be busy travelling down and public transport or a taxi from a hotel to the venue might be much easier to arrange.

I think you have comprehension problems. With the correction it makes perfect sense.

I must be a mug. We live very rural & id take my adult children anywhere… literally anywhere. The one that drives rarely asks (occasionally wants picked up if out drinking, but happy to return the favour if myself &/or dh are out) furthest lift was to the airport (3 hours each way) when going off travelling, so 6 hrs round trip to drop off & 6 hours round trip to collect. Never crossed my mind to insist on using public transport. living very rurally we simply don’t rely on public transport.
if the issue was lack of confidence though, I’d spend every spare day out with you helping you gain confidence & independence. that would be more use to you than endless lifts.

This seems rather defeatist.
You won't learn to be able to do something, by avoiding it. In some cases, it becomes a bigger mountain to climb, the longer you put something off.

Have a think about what it is that is worrying you.
Is it driving for 90mins at a time ?
Is it driving home again at the end of a long day ?
Is it driving in a place you don't know?
Is it driving on City roads?

Once you break it down, then you can work out how to overcome that obstacle.
Is it driving for 90mins at a time ?

• so practice driving longer distances, with a confident driver in your car if you think that will help - invite someone to go to somewhere an hour away with you - to the beach / a nice place for lunch / a pretty market town / a tourist attraction / a sports fixture / whatever you can bribe them with

Is it driving in a place you don't know?

• Practise. Go somewhere new each week. Look on Google Maps or similar before you go so you can see the road layout and landmarks you will pass in advance to begin with. I still do this somtimes and I've been driving over 40 years. It's just good to know what will be there - so much easier than before we had the internet.

Is it driving on City roads?

• Again. Practise. Make it a day out, just to practise your driving. When you aren't worried about getting somewhere on time, or driving home tired after a long day doing whatever it is you are going to do. When it doesn't matter if you take a wrong turn and get lost for a bit when you don't need to be anywhere at a certain time.

But for this year, do one of the things pps have suggested. Drive to a place you can get public transport from.

As a parent, if my ds or dd had come to me and said they were nervous about driving a distance, or driving in a City or driving on the motorway, etc., then I would well I did go out and about with them, to help them overcome that nervousness, so they could become independent drivers. That is very different from facilitating them avoiding driving though. I wouldn't do that.

Why not do a test run with your mum in the car?

When is the event? How long have you been driving for?

What about taking your mum with you before the event. Get some lunch together and make a day of it? You can drive but have her with you for confidence? That way the day of the event you will have more confidence driving yourself.

Normally I would say a lift is fine but it's a huge ask for a three hour round trip for someone to drop you off and collect you again later. If your not confident then what about driving to a bus/train station and then getting public transport there and back

You should get yourself around as you’re an adult.