Would you find it weird if someone married did this

[Happyjess]

I’m a single parent. DC in reception and I am friends with a school dad since September. He said we should swap numbers. I said sounds good. He wanted to take mine down.

I spoke to my friend about it and she said that’s really weird and I shouldn’t do that with someone married. Who is being unreasonable ??

Why would it be weird? One of my closest friends is the divorced father of one of DS’s former classmates. I’m married. No one is shagging anyone. We go climbing together.

Errrr... well it's fine if you're just texting about playdates for the kids. Less fine if you are texting about dates for yourselves.

This.

As long as you keep your boundaries there is no reason why not.

I've got the numbers of a couple of school dads and contact them to arrange play dates as they're the ones in the household who tend to take on that responsibility.

There's nothing flirty or inappropriate about it, it's just really boring texts arranging parties or who's picking up who from football today.

I don't see the problem I'm married and have a ton of married men numbers friends,family people I know nothing weird

Is the idea that you're swapping numbers to arrange for the kids to meet up? Same class/friends etc?

If not, it's one of those things that's perfectly acceptable on Mumsnet, but in the real world would raise eyebrows (probably his wife's).

It's not weird to swap numbers with a reception / school Dad.

In my youngest's primary class there were at least three fathers I had more contact with than their wives/ partners as they did the school run more frequently. We were part of a group that went for pub nights (still do sometimes). It was not weird in any way - we all knew each other's partners too.

When we started one of the parents was very organised and got the numbers for all the parents and set up an information pack for us to refer to (with permission) so I have the numbers of all the dads in the year. Five years on and it’s only ever been about play dates and party pick ups and never about dates.

I have lots of school dads’ numbers (I’m female and married). How else do you arrange play dates? We text each other deeply inappropriate things like “Did DS leave his football boots at your house?”

context is everything here, was he all skeazy and heyyy have my number? Or regular let’s swap numbers

in itself it’s not a problem . Depenhow it made you feel, what’s your gut feeling?

Seriously.

I've noticed this is a massive trend in my youngests class. Mums all work FT and the Dads deal with extra curricular, after school club and playdates.

If I message a Mum (which I admit is my default option) they'll respond "Can you check with Toby, I'm away - different time zone"

Different kettle of fish in my eldests class as no one works.

You've given no information here though, or did you press post too soon?

Are your kids actually friends? Did he say you should swap numbers to arrange play dates?

Is his kid actually at the same school? Or is he random number taker guy?

No one works at all in your elder child’s class?

If it's Kevin from motherland it's completely fine.

But if my husband came home and said he'd given his number to a single mum at the school gates I'd definitely not be amused.

Really? Why?

Because he's never exchanged numbers with anyone at the school gates so I'd just find it odd if the first person he chose to do it with was a single mum.

I have the numbers of lots of my son's friends' fathers, for the purpose of arranging lifts and playdates etc.

However I notice you just say "a school dad" so it's not 100% clear whether his child is a friend of yours. I wouldn't be swapping numbers with school dads just because we get on well, whereas I have numbers for school mums whose children are not friendly with mine, just because we have become friendly.

This!

Why? Im a single mum. I have the phone numbers of the mums and dads of all my kid’s friends. I’ve had play dates with both mum and dad, play dates with just the mums and play dates with just the dads. When the dads pick him, they stop in for a coffee just like the mums do.

What exactly is it that you think single mums are trying to do with your husband which married mums are not? We’re just parents of your kid’s friend, just like the married mums. What is it you wouldn’t be amused about? Why am I “dangerous” or “wrong” for someone to speak to?

Are both your children in reception?
Isn't there a WhatsApp reception group you can both be in?
Everyone swaps numbers at the school gates it's not weird at all. Your friend is a bit imo

It's standard to swap numbers with below parents. Hope else do you arrange play dates / check if they can remove you what the school email said about Thursday / see if you can car share when collecting from random day out etc etc
Utterly beige non event, swapping numbers.
Or are we being sexist and thinking dad's don't organise their kids ever and therefore must only be thinking of hitting on mums if they think it'd be handy to have your number!?

At
Your children friends?

Has he asked any other mums dow their number?

Does he flirt with you or make personal comments about your appearance?