Blocked toilet. Who should pay?

[Letmegonowihavehadenough]

I am going through a divorce and live in the family home at present which is currently on the market. He moved out. My toilet is blocked and we cannot use it for this reason. My stbxh won’t go halves to get the problem fixed saying it’s my fault for blocking it. Over the years it has occasionally got blocked and we have been able to unblock it. My dad has a long thing that goes far into the toilet but it can’t be unblocked and I have tried products including bicarbonate of soda and white vinegar along with other branded unblockers. Nothing except poo/wee and toilet paper had been put down it. I can’t afford to pay to get it unblocked by myself and it has been like this since November. AIBU to think my stbxh should pay half?

You haven’t used your toilet since November?

I'm sorry you're going through such a tough time
Please confide in family and friends about how you're feeling
Re the toilet
Cutting the end off a 2 litre coke bottle and plunging with that creates a vacuum which has worked for me
Post on any local Facebook/ next door apps and ask if anyone has any drain rods or similar( maybe a pressure washer would do it)
Hopefully a plumber will reply
See if you can get a voucher for a food bank

which i understand but what happeneds when its all swallowed up via the legal fees just to prove you were correct ?

I tried all sorts nothing worked. It sounds disgusting but I ended up putting some rubber gloves on and removing the blockage shit and loo paper thanks to DD using too much bog roll.

This is a really good tip I was told this by an old plumber. You get a mop and you use the mop like a giant plunger. Had one loo that blocked on a regular basis, combination of ds using way too much paper and not enough drop on the pipe, and this always worked. Bit icky but you just flush over the mop until its cleanish, remember to take a carrier (without holes) to carry the mop after. How have you lived with a blocked loo since November?

Buy a plunger from Amazon. I live with a 14 yr old who uses half a roll of toilet paper every time. Toilet blocks frequently. The plunger I got is amazing it's like an accordion with a suck and blow type action. Works every time.

Either of those are acceptable 🤣🤣🤣

I'm sorry you're having a rough time with the divorce. But this has been happening since November- are there children in the house doing the same, since you've stated it's the family home? In three months you beg, borrow, sell or save enough to unblock a toilet and not be crapping in a bag.

🤣

@Letmegonowihavehadenough Go to a hardware shop and buy a hard rubber disk on the end of a stick-made for unblocking loos- it looks like it would do nothing, but it acts like a piston to pump away the blockage.
Beware of ,'Backsplash'.

Flush and pump while the plunger is underwater.

If a simple blockage {paper and poo} it should clear fast. 🤢

Have you tried a Plumber's Mate? (By that I mean the extendable wire spring with a screw mechanism that reaches right down to the drain outside, not kidnapping the friend of a random plumber and shoving his hand down the bog!)
The former works miracles. The latter would probably get you arrested!

That's absolutely insane.

Get a proper plunger- and it will block unless there is a blockage a long way down the drain itself.

Is sewage coming up through drains in the garden?

In which case, a plunger won't do the trick.

Does your ex know you’ve been shitting in bags for months..? 🫠

I don't believe you, but just in case you're telling the truth...

It isn't your ex husband's responsibility to unblock a toilet.

Caustic soda will dissolve toilet paper, faeces and fat. Pour a pack into the toilet and simply wait for a week. You've, apparently, been living like this since November, so another week won't hurt. That will resolve any blockages in the toilet area. I think it would also dissolve a drain blockage given enough time and a strong enough concentration of caustic soda, but you might be looking at weeks for the chemicals to slowly eat through 20 metres of blockage.

If the main household drain is blocked, you need to lift the drain cover and use rods to unblock it. Don't attach any tools to the rods because they can disconnect from the tip and get lodged in the drain. This would be a disaster! It is important that you only twist the rods clockwise to avoid them coming undone and separating inside the drain. This would also be an expensive disaster.

The technique with rods, is to push the blockage up the pipe. If you can get it to move 30cm, it will usually start moving with a lot of speed/force and clear the blockage. You never push down because it simply compacts the blockage and makes it worse. A major drain blockage can require a lot of physical strength to push back up the pipe. This is due to the weight of water trapped behind the blockage - 100 litres equals 100kg.

When you clear a major blockage you will see faeces/fat/sludge blast down the drain pipe at high speed. If you see it slowly passing down the drain, it's probably still partially blocked. You'll need to rod again and, if you can't feel a blockage, apply caustic soda via the toilet (single flush) and avoid using the taps and toilet for a few days. There could be a fat burg that only chemicals or jet washing can remove.

As a previous poster suggested, you probably need to knock on your neighbours doors or go on Nextdoor to ask to borrow some rods and also ask for help.

Are there manholes in the garden, down the side or whatever? If so, check them to see if they are full. If they are, may be worth trying Southern Water as there may be a blockage further down in the communal drain.

Or get your dad's rods and try them back up from the manhole/access point towards the house? May hit the blockage that way.

When you say blocked, does any liquid go down at all? Presume it is the only loo in the house? When it has been unblocked previously has anyone said what the issue is?

We own a drainage firm and are a bunch of softies, in your situation we would pop out and have a look and if a standard unblock would do it for nothing.

Sorry, it’s your toilet. You live there, you unblock it !

The mop and plastic bag works and was told to me by someone who used to have to unblock pub toilets. I find it can be done with a toilet brush. Push the toilet brush in the U bend as far as you can and then plunge back and forth until the blockage clears - this has never failed me.

Just to add, if shower water and sink water are going down the drain, and not overflowing out of the drain cover, then it's unlikely to be the main drain that's blocked.

If your drains are joint with a neighbour then they are still the responsibility of the water company, I believe.

Edited to add:

I had a downstairs toilet that wouldn’t drain. It was thanks to @pigletjohn that I realised the drain shared with next door was blocked. The water company came out and unblocked it. That was after 2011, but only because it’s shared.

wow are you a plumber,@ThisOldThang ?
We have old victorian drains that block if someone puts ''White mice'' down the loo.
I have to tell people ''Please ! no tampons! there is a bin and bags in the loo, but for some reason people think ''Just one won't hurt!''

Also...Wet wipes. No no and no. Awful things.

A dyno rod bloke pulled out a Rat King of tampons from the drain, I couldn't believe it! he took great delight in showing them to us

A neighbour in our street has had his drain pipe underground blocked with rubble and he has had to pay for it himself.. but is this right? if the pipe from the loo that goes to the main sewer gets blocked, it isn't us that has to pay?

If true, they definitely kept that quiet. Edit...maybe his wasn't shared...don't think mine is either.

'' Where drainage serves one property only and is within its curtilage, it will not be transferred and will remain the owner’s responsibility.''

I'm not a plumber, but had to help my father-in-law deal with a communal drain at a property where he owns the freehold. We'd called out Thames Water and they'd visited twice and failed to unblock it. I went to Screwfix and bought a set of rods and managed it myself. The weight of water (possibly sitting in the downpipes from the flats above) made it incredibly difficult to push the blockage back up the pipe (I'm a 6' 1", 14 stone male). When i finally managed it, the blockage cleared with some serious force.

No offence to the people reading this, but i don't think many women would be physically strong enough to push that weight using a rod.

This gives you a good idea OP of which bit of sewer you own. As soon as the section of pipe is used by one or more houses, or at the point it leaves your property (whichever is sooner) it becomes the water company’s problem.

FWIW we’ve had the water company out twice to unblock sewers and they weren’t too bothered about which section of pipe it was, they just went ahead and unblocked it.

If it's a repeat problem you probably need the drain outside jetting. Got a big drain cover outside?

Does the house sale paperwork con 26 show drainage?

Surely I can't be the only poster seriously concerned that the OP and her children are having to poo in carrier bags?! This is really worrying and far from ideal situation to be exposing children to. As their father surely he'd want decent sanitation for his children irrespective of how he feels about his ex wife?!
I find the whole situation deeply disturbing.

Please talk to Samaritan and someone else about this it sounds like you need some real life support. Will your dad give you the money to get your toilet fixed?