Blocked toilet. Who should pay?

[Letmegonowihavehadenough]

I am going through a divorce and live in the family home at present which is currently on the market. He moved out. My toilet is blocked and we cannot use it for this reason. My stbxh won’t go halves to get the problem fixed saying it’s my fault for blocking it. Over the years it has occasionally got blocked and we have been able to unblock it. My dad has a long thing that goes far into the toilet but it can’t be unblocked and I have tried products including bicarbonate of soda and white vinegar along with other branded unblockers. Nothing except poo/wee and toilet paper had been put down it. I can’t afford to pay to get it unblocked by myself and it has been like this since November. AIBU to think my stbxh should pay half?

OP, I think you need to stop and breathe.

Is there someone you trust who you can tell all of this too.

Blocked toilet
Pooing in a bag for 4 months
Can't afford to eat
35k legal costs
Ex's proposed 70/30 split

A good friend will help you get this into perspective and evaluate your priorities. Will help you find appropriate help and hold your hand while you get through the next months before you're rid of ex.

Do you have a great friend? Would your Dad be good to speak with? An employee helpline at work?

Your problem. Would you go halves to unblock the toilet where he is staying if it happened to him?

Try your home insurance. Home emergency cover if you have it, if not try your regular buildings insurance. Explain you’re a vulnerable customer (mental health and financial circumstances). Good luck.

A blocked toilet is not an insurance event.

Yes it is, depending on the cause.

Is this a joke? Since NOVEMBER? That’s like a SEASON ago? What the fuck did you put down there? It would have been a couple of hours work max for someone with the right equipment In November but I don’t know what it will be now.

Seriously, you need to scrape the cash together, get it sorted and get the house sold. If you really can’t scrape the money together you’re in an incredibly precarious financial position- what would you do if the boiler broke? Or if a pipe sprung a leak?

Get an old toilet brush, wrap an old towel and plastic bag around it with an elastic band. Use it as a plunger

This will absolutely be helping the clearly quite distressed OP. Why not bombard her with more potential situations that might cause a problem? Fucking bravo.

Have you tried unblocking it from the external end?

Try caustic soda. If that doesn't work can you lift the outside lid thingy and see if the blockage is there? This worked for me and I used some old flexible curtain rail to rod it

This is your bill I'm sorry to say. Find a way a loan or a payment plan. Pooping into bags is horrific. Wait on him to pay half is insane. You can't live like this and God forbid you have children living this way. It would be great if he paid half but he won't and you can't live this way

What like an accident? An extreme weather event? OP hasn't mentioned such a thing, so I am going to say again with some confidence, that this is not an insurance event.

Our downstairs loo kept blocking. It was a blockage in the drain outside. Because we share this drain with next door the water company came out and fixed it for free.

Ok and I can say more confidentially - as a property insurance underwriter - that it may be. Most policies contain accidental damage cover for underground pipes and services - which generally includes blockages. Depending on the cause, it may be covered. It’s better to check than to shit in a bag.

There is no way toilet paper has caused this. Stop shoving chemicals down it. You're going to end up bursting a pipe and causing even more damage. Get a plumber out and put the cost on a credit card. Your ex isn't living there, he is not responsible for the things you break.

If this is true, then you need significant help OP, not just financial but psychiatric too. It’s not normal to poo in a bag for 4 months. And you say “we” which suggests you have kids, making this a safeguarding issue. By rights you should pay for this repair, but if your ex can afford it, then he should be doing whatever he can to ensure his kids aren’t exposed to this nightmare.

I have reported this thread though.

Missing the point here (sorry) but order a Luigi plunger on prime.
Our toilet was totally blocked, nothing worked at all..... until this. DH is desperate for it to happen again so he can have another go.

No yabu and need to pay for it yourself.

What?! Unless he moved out very recently, then the blockage is nothing to do with him and it's for you to sort out.

Great, so now it's going to become the poor buyers' problem

So you're toilet has been out of use for nearly 4 months and you've been shitting in a bag , do you have children? This needs sorting ASAP, what are you doing with the waste? Its a health hazard and a desperate situation to be in, you need help right away.

Can your dad, or any other family or friends help you and pay for this problem to be fixed until you sell your home and you can pay them back? Your ex is not liable to pay, but if you have children together then does he know this is happening? if I was him, there is no way I'd let my kids shit in a bag, regardless of how much I didn't get along with the other parent.

Ask him to pay for someone to fix the plumbing and have the amount taken from house costs once sold?

Why should he pay if he isn't even living there?

My dd had to use a bag once. I'd locked my keys in the house and was waiting for my sister to bring the spare. Luckily there was an empty grocery bag in the car. She was horrified but had no choice. I still feel terrible and it was a one off emergency. You cannot live like this

Plunge the toilet with a mop - really works