Page 24 | Posters you still think about

Helfs · 2024-03-10T13:17:06+00:00

Proof I probably spend too much time on here but does anyone else have posters they still think about every now and again? Mine is the Australian poster whose son was in the abusive relationship and her many threads about helping him get out of the relationship and realizing she was toxic. Can’t find the threads at all now but I hope her and her son are still doing well! Does anyone else have stand out posters or threads that stick in their minds?

Bigcat25 · 11/03/2024 13:16

The woman who was fleeing horrific domestic violence a few months back, who had to leave her home and loose her job. Her ex stalked her and told her she was the craziest fucker she'd ever meet, and told her she'd be in a wheel chair with a wired jaw if she left.

I hope she is ok and I was/am so worried about her. Also the lady who started the coercive control thread - that situation has stuck with me.

Purpledragonz · 11/03/2024 13:35

Manicule · 11/03/2024 08:42

I've been on here since 2003 so remember lots of these.

Of Onitlikecarbonnet (sp.) - many threads I've lost, but I'm vaguely sure she and hers are fully free and clear of the sod - yes, onit was an inspirational woman and my heart went out to her as she struggled against her disgusting, vile H. I hope she and her children are OK.

I often think of the girl - several pps have mentioned her - who wanted to leave her horribly controlling H but didn’t go through with it in the end. She had several threads and iirc the first one started when she just happened to mention that she didn’t always want to go to bed at a certain time - it emerged that her H insisted she went to bed at the same time as him and indeed did everything he told her to do, and she thought this was normal. Appalling.

I keep a watch on PurpleLampShades' threads and, like everyone, just wish I could do something to help her. If you’re reading this thread, Purple, a lot of people are thinking of you.

The thread that’s never left me is the woman who was married to a horrendously controlling man who kept tabs on her literally all the time - he would ring her up to check and expect her to ring him. She had to account for every minute of her day and wasn’t allowed money. He had some hotshot job, I think. And he was trying to get her pregnant - she had no autonomy. It was one of the most chilling things I’ve ever read on here. People were trying to help her get to a clinic to get a coil fitted. Would that have been the Lovely2012 that @Genderwoo mentioned? Sounds very similar.

Do you have more details on the first poster? Was it around 2021?
Was she pregnant at the time ?

OhamIreally · 11/03/2024 13:46

Bigcat25 · 11/03/2024 13:16

The woman who was fleeing horrific domestic violence a few months back, who had to leave her home and loose her job. Her ex stalked her and told her she was the craziest fucker she'd ever meet, and told her she'd be in a wheel chair with a wired jaw if she left.

I hope she is ok and I was/am so worried about her. Also the lady who started the coercive control thread - that situation has stuck with me.

There's so many of these. The "do men hate women" thread has reached 1k now but the last few posts were saying not only "not all men" but actually "hardly any men" . When you've read thread after thread with women crying out for help and living awful lives at the hands of these men it does make you think "quite a lot of men".

x2boys · 11/03/2024 13:51

OhamIreally · 11/03/2024 13:46

There's so many of these. The "do men hate women" thread has reached 1k now but the last few posts were saying not only "not all men" but actually "hardly any men" . When you've read thread after thread with women crying out for help and living awful lives at the hands of these men it does make you think "quite a lot of men".

Show quote history

Mumsnet isn't representative of real life ,threads about domestic violence are going to attract posters who have been affected by domestic violence
So makes things very skewed

lollipopnow · 11/03/2024 13:56

Rattenbury · 10/03/2024 18:59

Lollipop7 - a wonderful, witty lady who left an abusive partner with her DCs in tow - her thread was so inspiring. she updated a while later to say they were all thriving. I do hope she's still doing well years later

Hello! I am still here albeit under a different username and it transpires my old one is no longer available as I deleted my old account shorty after that update. So I changed from my current username to this one for the update.

the kids are doing great. The baby i was pregnant with when we left is now six years old! Time has flown….. We are a strong little team and he is not a part of their lives. I am so proud of them - they are just amazing human beings.

thought you might like to know and thank you for thinking of us ☺️

EdithStourton · 11/03/2024 14:04

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 10/03/2024 21:15

If it was the Lemon Drizzle Cake wasn't that BupCakesandBunting ?

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Yes, might have been.
Hilarious thread, early in my MN career.

OhamIreally · 11/03/2024 14:34

@x2boys whose life is it representative of if not these women? I'm sure their lives feel very real to them. These abusive men are also presumably real.

Perhaps what you intended to say was "these threads about abuse are not representative of what I see in my own life".

StrawberryJellyBelly · 11/03/2024 14:42

Do you have more details on the first poster? Was it around 2021?
Was she pregnant at the time ?

im pretty sure you’re thinking of someone else b

x2boys · 11/03/2024 14:51

OhamIreally · 11/03/2024 14:34

@x2boys whose life is it representative of if not these women? I'm sure their lives feel very real to them. These abusive men are also presumably real.

Perhaps what you intended to say was "these threads about abuse are not representative of what I see in my own life".

Your the one that is generalising based on threads you have read on here .

Mary46 · 11/03/2024 15:07

Pamela posts were very moving thats one thread that stayed with me very sad

3pancakesplz · 11/03/2024 16:20

one thread was about 9 years ago I think. The OP who also had young children found out her husband had been cheating with someone from work, at first he referred to this woman as ‘wank fodder’ but eventually the full truth came out and he left to be with this woman. There were several threads from the OP and I remember feeling the heartbreak whilst reading.

Pirelli · 11/03/2024 16:23

The poster Thewookiemustgo or something similar - always gave good insight on the Relationships board. There was another poster who did similarly but I can't remember the name - think it began with a C.
Both of them spoke from experience of being cheated on and both were very wise.

DrunkenElephant · 11/03/2024 16:36

3pancakesplz · 11/03/2024 16:20

one thread was about 9 years ago I think. The OP who also had young children found out her husband had been cheating with someone from work, at first he referred to this woman as ‘wank fodder’ but eventually the full truth came out and he left to be with this woman. There were several threads from the OP and I remember feeling the heartbreak whilst reading.

OpheliaRose.

I hope she’s doing ok now

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/2359412-Affair-Not-sure-how-to-cope

Manicule · 11/03/2024 16:52

StrawberryJellyBelly · 11/03/2024 09:41

but I'm vaguely sure she and hers are fully free and clear of the sod - yes, onit was an inspirational woman and my heart went out to her as she struggled against her disgusting, vile H. I hope she and her children are OK

Onit posted recently and her and the children are doing well and are happy.

She’s still with the partner she met after she had serrated from the vile ex.

Yes, so good to discover this - I found her recent update after I posted. @Purpledragonz if that’s who you meant, the poster I’m talking about was called onitlikeacarbonnet and as she recently posted, she started her threads 7 years ago so probably not the one you’re thinking of?

Sbishka · 11/03/2024 17:09

NotAgainWilson · 10/03/2024 22:21

I remember many from the Oldies, particularly JanH who was lovely and supported me when I was so miserable trying to end my marriage and who drove 4 hours to spend the day with me when it finally happened.

She used to pop in on my Facebook from time to time, so looking at this thread I thought on checking on her.

First photo in her Facebook was the sympathy Mumsnet blanket, she passed away last summer. I’m heartbroken 🙁

Oh no, JanH was indeed lovely. She was always a thoroughly calm and reasoned thinker. I'm sad to read this, RIP JanH.

Sbishka · 11/03/2024 17:12

x2boys · 11/03/2024 13:51

Mumsnet isn't representative of real life ,threads about domestic violence are going to attract posters who have been affected by domestic violence
So makes things very skewed

Edited

Show quote history

Pretty much all of us have been affected by domestic violence, though. Whether it's a partner, a parent, stories of our grandparents, uncles, a violent brother (in my case). And if not that, we've been sexually assaulted in some way, a lot of us. I would suggest it's a lot less skewed than you might think.

Poundshop · 11/03/2024 17:12

Thewolvesarerunningagain · 10/03/2024 14:09

Fluffydressinggown. I always think of her doing her colouring in and what she went through.

I often think of Fluffy. Absolutely tragic.

Hairyfairy01 · 11/03/2024 17:35

RavenT · 11/03/2024 10:25

I'm the chutney chunt survivor! Still around and post occasionally, but thankfully my life is pretty settled and uninteresting now.

All is well, DS starts secondary school in September. Haven't seen Chunt since we got divorced, he was looking very red faced and stressed in court back then! He used to send DS bday/Xmas cards (always late), but that stopped about 5 years ago.

I remember lots of lovely people from that time and am hugely grateful for the amazing support, advice and camaraderie I got on here. 😊

Yay! So glad things are well with you and your ds.

MalcolmsMiddle · 11/03/2024 18:04

On a more light hearted note, I spend most of January thinking of the posters who made threads in December about potential Christmas issues who never came back to update. There was a batshit one this year about a SiL who expected the entire meal to be dairy free for her son and wouldn't accept the OPs compromise of a regular meal for all and a dairy free version for the child in question.

Wizzadorra70 · 11/03/2024 18:06

@lollipopnow I'm so pleased to see your name pop up. I was on your threads at the time and was so proud of you for getting away.

PoochiesPinkEars · 11/03/2024 18:07

One poster was a woman in her 30's (I think) who was pregnant by a guy she'd been friends with while travelling (round India?). She was trying to decide what to do and working out if solo parenting could be done with her life in London, she knew the father wouldn't want to play an active role, but no hard feelings. Her name was something like India.
She seemed so intelligent and pragmatic but also fun, and I got the impression she'd be an ace mum, if she felt like she could go it alone and could make it work.
I occasionally wonder what choice she made in the end. Her child would be at school now!

And another one for the lady stuck in a horrible toxic situation in NZ, desperate to take her kids to the UK but trapped by the laws on removing children (laws there for good reason, but her DH and his family were 😱) and she wasn't going to abandon them to him without her. Hope she's found some way to improve some part of that.

Purpledragonz · 11/03/2024 18:16

PoochiesPinkEars · 11/03/2024 18:07

One poster was a woman in her 30's (I think) who was pregnant by a guy she'd been friends with while travelling (round India?). She was trying to decide what to do and working out if solo parenting could be done with her life in London, she knew the father wouldn't want to play an active role, but no hard feelings. Her name was something like India.
She seemed so intelligent and pragmatic but also fun, and I got the impression she'd be an ace mum, if she felt like she could go it alone and could make it work.
I occasionally wonder what choice she made in the end. Her child would be at school now!

And another one for the lady stuck in a horrible toxic situation in NZ, desperate to take her kids to the UK but trapped by the laws on removing children (laws there for good reason, but her DH and his family were 😱) and she wasn't going to abandon them to him without her. Hope she's found some way to improve some part of that.

The last one is horrible :(
I remember watching a documentary about a woman in a similar situation who was abused by both her husband and in law. She had to flee the country illegally by boat to go a neighbouring country that had a different law

user1471538283 · 11/03/2024 18:16

Any fucker is my favourite too! She cuts to the chase quicker and better than anyone!

HoneyWogan · 11/03/2024 18:22

MalcolmsMiddle · 11/03/2024 18:04

On a more light hearted note, I spend most of January thinking of the posters who made threads in December about potential Christmas issues who never came back to update. There was a batshit one this year about a SiL who expected the entire meal to be dairy free for her son and wouldn't accept the OPs compromise of a regular meal for all and a dairy free version for the child in question.

Ooh, yes - that one was rather a fascinating thread. I wonder what happened in the end.

Did we ever find out what happened about the OP who accidentally broke a wine glass at her (wealthy) in-laws' home (was that over Christmas too, maybe a previous year now?) and they issued her an actual invoice to pay for it?!

HoneyWogan · 11/03/2024 18:25

user1471538283 · 11/03/2024 18:16

Any fucker is my favourite too! She cuts to the chase quicker and better than anyone!

I always wondered if she was indeed giving her own personal perspectives on every matter she engaged in, or whether the name was a giveaway clue and she was thus just 'aggregating' what she believed the average woman/man on the street would say?!