To find it embarrassing that my nans buys Mother’s Day presents?

[Rainorsnow]

I’m 23 and my sisters are 21 and 18 and every Mothers Day my Nan buys presents for us for our mum. She has done this since we were little and obviously when you’re a child this is completely normal but but once I turned 18 I started wanting to do it myself with my sisters but Nan buys the presents weeks in advance in February so I don’t get the chance to and I don’t want to undermine her presents so we don’t get mum anything other than a bunch of flowers. It’s getting embarrassing and my I don’t think my grandad likes it either.

"Nanny.....we're big girls now. You don't need to do this for us"

It's sweet of her. Just buy your own gift for your mum too.

There is no limit to the amount of gifts your mum can receive just get her your own as well.

Buy your own present and give it to your Mum anyway? If your Nan enjoys this ritual let her continue to do what she wants but buy what you want to for your own Mum.....

Buy her your own gift and give her one from you too?

It comes around every year and you know she buys the presents in Feb every year.

If it really bothered you then you'd have the conversation now and remind her in January that she doesn't need to buy anything on your behalf. The fact you haven't done that suggests it doesn't bother you that much.

Mother's Day is an annual event so you have a full 12 months to tell her that you will make your own arrangements next year but of course if she wants to continue on her own account I'm sure your mum would love it.

Why can’t you get something too?

I’d just humour her and go along with it you can also get your mum something

if she enjoys doing it makes her feel useful why not

"Nan, we appreciate all you've done since we've been little to help us out getting presents for Mum. It's been really kind of you. Going forward though, we want to choose our own gifts for Mum as we enjoy giving gifts and choosing things for her and feel that we're missing out on that experience. Please can you let us choose our own gifts from now on? Hope you understand!"

Maybe call her in a few days to thank her and say that as you are adults now, she can hand over that baton. Maybe get grandad on-side first?

I think the weird bit isn’t your Nan it’s that you can’t also buy something.

A non-issue. Either ask gran (very politely and nicely!) to stop, or just give her your own presents in addition to gran's. It is very sweet but I can see how you'd want to move on from this tradition!

It's a good point as well though that nothing was stopping you and your sisters from getting your Mum your own gift as well. Why didn't you?

@everyone does nobody else think buying our own would undermine Nan’s presents?

Can you invite her to go shopping with you, unfortunately in February I guess but at least you can wean her off the idea of being responsible for it and you can have a nice shopping trip with your nan.

Unless your Nan expects you to reimburse her just buy your mum one from you anyway. I suspect your mum knows it's nan that buys them and would be delighted to see you do your own thing too.

I genuinely don't understand why you don't just buy your own

Does anyone buy your Nan a Mothers' Day present? Is this just her way of being part of the day?

Agreed! It's absolutely adorable - let her.

You could take your mum out for coffee or a meal? Take her to the cinema or a show?

Have you actually talked to your nan about it? I think its nice she wants to make sure her daughter is recognised on mother's day, after many years of buying a gift every year for your mother, it might be habit but I find it sad there doesn't seem much appreciation after all this time.

Surely your mum knows your nan buys the gifts.

I can't believe you waited to 18 to suggest you do it. Or don't just get her something yourself as well.

Just buy your mother something yourself.

Does it matter?

I wasn't sure if my BIL had got anything for my sister so got a couple of bits from the children for her. She just gets two lots of presents, if he remembers.