Neighbours keep asking for favours!

[Popcornlassie28]

My husband and I live in a village around 15 minutes from the local shops etc. We currently have two children and I’m pregnant with our third. We both work (I work shifts) and I’m also studying at uni so I’m always constantly busy being a mother, at work or as a student.

My neighbours are middle aged with no children. One drives and the other doesn’t. Recently due to medical reasons the one who drives has had to stop driving until a health clear.

Since then, I will be home with the children before/after school, getting ready for work or coming off a night shift that morning and SO ready to sleep and my neighbour will come knocking asking to be taken to work often because she’s ’missed the bus’, ‘bus doesn’t run at this time’ etc. They do not take no for an answer and she will return two, three times plus until I answer as she knows I’m home as my car is in the driveway. She is very forceful.

I haven’t minded up until this point helping where we can but it’s getting a bit much. There is never any offer for fuel money either and it’s a 30 minute round trip to drop her to where she needs to go.

In the warmer weather, they will put their heads over the fence while I’m relaxing in my garden to ask for things and ask my children ‘Go and grab Mummy/Daddy’ so they can ask for more lifts/favours. My garden should be a safe haven where my children can play and we should relax without being bothered? Or am I wrong here? I would knock the front door and if they don’t answer I wouldn’t dream of being that pushy.

I have been polite to keep the peace but they are now asking my husband to give lifts at 8am into work on Sunday morning as ‘bus isn’t running’ and even though I’m pregnant ‘Can you pick up the 2 litre bottles of water from the shop for me? They are heavy for me to carry on the bus’. My husband is saying it’s going too far and to start pushing back and being forceful with her.

How can I be forceful but polite? Am I being unreasonable? I am terrified when the baby comes she will be banging the door down to be taken out when I’ve just got them settled and I don’t want to fall out but I know I will lose my temper at this point.

I think that direct 'no' is best. If they no longer speak to you... you can cope.

However: you could always start a collection of excuses and lies for dish by the door:

-Oh -I'm much too drunk to drive anywhere today
-Today is my day for adultry
-My new car insurance excludes non-family members and animals
-I have an online interview with the police/the royal family shortly
-A local taxi firm are blacklisting me for taking their business. They plan to blockade our road if I continue to give lifts.
-'yes - I would love a lift. Wait while I get my hat and coat.'

Wow, I cant believe neighbours like this even exist. I wouldn't dream of asking someone to go on completely out of their way for me. It's not like you are even passing their workplace on their travels. They are Completely unreasonable! Take the same approach as they do and say no!

There’d be 2 simultaneous threads on MN complaining about the CF’s next door 😁

This is actually harassment I would be contacting police for a restraining order. Write everything down and try and record some incidents if you can. She sounds a bit obsessive.

The nieghbour is mad & has no boundaries, are they from a different culture, one where things are more communal?
I have to say OP, you dont seem to have good boundaries either, otherwise you'd have never obeyed them in the first place.

@SabreIsMyFave

Your neighbours need their own thread. They are deliciously ghastly. I'm now overinvested in Louise & Ryan's attempt to have a baby, & rather sad that you're making yourself unavailable with your new gate.

Cheeky bastards! You need to start saying it's not convenient

I have a family, we have busy jobs and I am pregnant, I didn't mind a couple of times but it's become too much of a burden, sorry but no.

shut the door.

Off you fuck is a reasonable response to CF’s

I'm sure it's been said already, but if you can't bring yourself to say:

1. No, that doesn't work for me Then say:
2. I am over the limit as we had lots of drinks last night/ this morning etc.

Don't be a doormat.

Oh dear lord how have you tolerated this for so long? I’d have told her to f*ck off a long time ago! Who does she think she is! Say no, close the door and if she doesn’t get the hint report her to the police.

Actually, I think my earlier response is too nice.
Fuck off, stop bothering me, take a cab!

Is a better reply. You''ll enjoy saying it too!

Tell her to book an online shop.

Most supermarkets do them. She can pick her own delivery time and everything, an it doesn't matter how heavy stuff is, some nice delivery bloke will even carry it through to your kitchen if you want.

GAMECHANGER!!!

I am over the limit as we had lots of drinks last night/ this morning etc.

Yes, dear Neighbour. I KNOW I am 8 1/2 months gone , BUT THERE IS NO ACTUAL LAW AGAINST PICKLING A FOETUS IN ALCOHOL!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

That should fettle her.

Knowing this CF she’ll find it hard to do online shopping and get OP to try and do it for her, or sort that out too.

Nasty situation to be in though, woman sounds like the devil’s own work.

Yeah, unfortunately you can't be reasonable after someone aggressively proves that they themselves are unreasonable, sadly.

Tell her that she's no longer allowed on your property or to engage with your children, and you will call the police if that's ignored. Follow through. Also, mention the never helping with petrol thing because this git should know.

Also, mention the never helping with petrol thing because this git should know.

The danger with that is that an unreasonable person/CF hears 'I'll give you a lift if you agree to pay me' - which OP presumably doesn't want to do.

And a true CF would agree to pay but then never have any money on them, their card isn't working, an old friend came in from out of town, their tux is at the cleaners etc.

Fair point!

Maybe the OP should say she's stoned instead.....

another thought just crossed my mind do you have to put your 2 children in the car for all these free lifts,,grow strong no means no

Oh - I wasn't meaning to pick a hole in your suggestion/. It's just I could hear Mrs NextDoor coming back with "But . . .But you're pregnant!!!" In a shocked gasp/horror sort of voice and I was suggesting a response to that. 😂

Stoned also works! 👌

Edited to add a Chef's kiss because I couldn't find a thumbs up

Next time she knocks on the door just say 'oh I'm so glad you're here! I've just added up the bill for all the lifts we've given. Feel free to just pop the money in an envelope and stick it through the door. Bye' and close the door

Rubbish - why does it have to be the man who tells them? Does a male body carry more authority than a woman's body? And as for it 'escalating into a personal dispute' this is a non-reason too. Why should the OP or her partner be obliged to help every Tom, Dick or Harry who hasn't got a car or is too lazy to ring for a cab just because she doesn't want them to 'escalate' it? Where will that leave her - in the role of personal slave? As I've said before, these people are simply users and why should others feel obligated not to 'upset' them for fear they'll turn nasty? What is the point of this, exactly? It simply tells them that it's OK to bully people. Just tell them 'no' - and to pay for a cab.

Knowing this CF she’ll find it hard to do online shopping and get OP to try and do it for her, or sort that out too.

Tell her to pay for some personal computer tuition. Most computer shops offer it. And point out that it'll give her something to do, rather than ringing the OP's doorbell. 😃

@Lwrenn You sound ace! You're def not a general tit but I am totally using 'full cunt' from now on 👌🏻

Thank you! I also love the words turbo twat! Get that in ya vocab hen 😂