Friend keeps asking for money

[Tevion1213]

I've known them few years but we have mostly just chatted by text only met up handful of times.
He must be in a sticky situation has he's never asked for money before but I'm low income on a strict budget as have some major costs to sort I've explained this but they keep asking. Its put me off and I feel like ending the friendship. Aibu

Nope. Not a chance. It's not as though you're thinking about ghosting a dear friend; they're someone you seem to barely know, and they refuse to accept your answer. I'd cut them off without a backward glance! They may genuinely need the money or they may not, but it makes no difference. You can't afford it. (To be clear, I wouldn't loan money in this situation even if I could easily afford to do so.)

Absolutely no brainer. NO! NO! NO!
He's not a friend anyway, trust me. And if u give him something, he will be knocking on Ur door again and again. He seems you as a soft touch. Don't give an inch lady!

Never lend money you can't afford to lose. I had a close friend ask me to lend money recently for tickets she couldn't afford to pay for at the time, I said no because if you can't afford to pay you can't afford to go. I work (friend chooses not too) and I'd be funding their lifestyle (another friends words but makes sense) choices. Has made me feel a bit differently about them.

i think you need to say I’m sorry but my financial situation hasn’t changed and I feel very pressured by you asking when you know I don’t have any money to loan you, please stop asking me

I'd ignore them from now on. It they asked again I'd send one more text that said 'What part of I can't afford it was unclear to you? I won't be responding to you again'.

Say an unequivocal no, and tell him not to ask again. Don't give any reasons or space for negotiation. Ignore any further requests, and end your contact with him if he persists.

If you only communicate mostly by text just send one final message and block. Make sure to let him know how disappointed you are that he refuses to understand the strain he's willing to put you under as you're already on a tight budget.
Then block and move on.

A friend wouldn't be hassling you for money.

You need to be firm.
I've already said no. Please stop asking.

Just say no and don't give money.

Exactly this, £200 will soon mushroom into more, just say you can't help, Likely there are others he has already tried or will move on to.

He helped me through a tough time and still does occasionally mostly by text but this has changed how I feel about him. He must be desperate as he's never asked for money before.

They and them? Then you write he. Which is it?

More likely his usual source has refused, possibly because he did not repay well last time. Don't feel bad, he is not a good friend to badger you.

You know that likely only means he's scrounged his way through everyone else's wallets and he's got nowhere else to turn, right?

Be blunt and say that it is making you uncomfortable and that you are not and will not be in a position to help him.
If he asks again block him on whatever he texts on.

You have to be straight - "I don't have any spare money, please do not ask me again". Then ignore and ignore, block if necessary.

A real friend would not put pressure on.

Just keep repeating the same sentence "No. I can't afford it." No matter what they say just keep repeating that sentence. Mind you if you have to keep saying that on repeat then they are not a friend. And I'm sure you would never get that money back. I learnt this the hard way many years ago after lending a so called friend £250. Any time I asked for it back or for repayments to be sorted they'd just get really arsy and snappy and usually have some sob story of why they couldn't pay it back at that point. And it never got repaid. So no, definitely don't lend them money.

I never lend more than I’m willing to lose. I could never lend £200 and tbh don’t consider myself ‘hard up’, that’s a lot of money.

Honestly, just ignore them.

Known for only a few years and only met in person a few times? He's probably exhausted everyone else.

As someone whose husband has given significant loans which will never be repaid please don't do it. The people receiving these loans felt they were hard up but were still spending in a style which we didn't feel we could.

Even if he did take out a loan to help a relative he shouldn't have done it if he couldn't afford to lose the money or keep up with repayments. It's not your responsibility to pay his debts. Even if you knew him better you have no idea how he is spending his money. If you don't know him well enough to go through his finances with him don't loan him anything.

This is a red flag for me. Like another poster suggested, usually people exhaust the generosity of close friends and relatives before asking others (such as yourself). I suspect a gambling problem. It can spiral out of control to the point where people persist in asking and targetting more vulnerable people. He’s possibly taken a large loan FROM a relative.

I could be wrong about the above points. However, I am worried about you as you describe that you have your own stresses in your life. Please get some support from someone close and please also have the courage to say no to the request.

You don’t need to explain your reasons why you can’t afford to lend the money to him or us OP. A simple no, I’m not able to would suffice. They don’t respect you or care about you if they’re going to keep putting pressure on you for money. What about your life and wellbeing? Why is his more important than yours? It’s not by the way. Absolute cheeky cuntery, block and move on from this waste of space user.

Keep repeating sorry can't afford it. The fact is let's say you give him the 200. His financial situation is never going to be fixed with 200. What then? You need to take care of you.

@Tevion1213 is this someone you've met online?

Great response OP. Go for this!

My answer to anyone who asks for money is to say I was just going to ask you for money!