Friend keeps asking for money

[Tevion1213]

I've known them few years but we have mostly just chatted by text only met up handful of times.
He must be in a sticky situation has he's never asked for money before but I'm low income on a strict budget as have some major costs to sort I've explained this but they keep asking. Its put me off and I feel like ending the friendship. Aibu

I would just tell them again that you cannot and will not lend them. And then block them if they continue.

He/she can ask and you can say no, and ask them not to ask you for money again as it is adversely affecting the relationship. He should have got his relative to arrange a loan with the bank if he didn't have spare money not try and pass his problem on to you..

It sounds as though he's more acquaintance than friend anyway. I'd worry he's a scammer.

Agree with the poster above, scammer?

The suggestion that @ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees put forward is quite good apart from the bit about not being in a position to loan the money. I am guessing that even if you had come into some money, you still wouldn't want to loan it so I'd make the following suggestion:
"Dave, I am not able to loan you any money. It's becoming a wedge in our friendship by you continuing to ask for money so please stop asking. I hope you're able to get your situation sorted. All the best @Tevion1213 "

You need to tell them straight that it’s really rude that they keep asking you after you’ve already said no.

Then I’d pull back from the friendship.

Op this person dosn’t care if you are short or not, dosnt care about your mental health. That’s why they continue to ask. Say no, then ignore future messages .

Ever watched the programmes about romance scams? They start off asking for small amounts at first and even pay them back to win your trust. Then they go in for the kill. He's possibly a scammer. End all contact and block him.

Under no circumstances loan him the money. You will never see it again.
Maybe, if he can’t do overtime, he could do a second job for some evenings/weekends. Not great if he is already working full time, but needs must. I know someone who delivers for Tesco a couple of evenings a week in similar circumstances.

Why have they taken out a large loan for a relative if they are skint?!

Never end lend money to anyone, it’s a good rule to get you through life.

Block this person on all accounts as well you hardly know them.

Sorry, I don't ever have any spare cash. How I wish I did.

Just tell him plain and simple that you don't have the money to lend. Even if you did, what if a big unexpected expense came up and you were the one who then was needing that money back? It doesn't sound like he's a really close friend you see regularly, who will reliably repay you the money anyway. If you send the money, believe me, straight away you'll get a sinking feeling and then be on edge waiting for him to repay you, which I guarantee will not come quickly if at all. I've lent money before, and it's always a nightmare to get it back. Never again.

THIS ^

"we have mostly just chatted by text only met up handful of times" in several years.

This is a CF on the make, making you feel obliged to them and guilting you into lending what they must know you cannot afford because they think you are a soft touch.

And they are not taking "No" for an answer.

OP this person is NOT your friend. They are trying to take advantage of your good nature. Please tell them to stop asking you.

The answer to your friend is that it's not possible as you have no money to give. If they ask again ignore them .

"Sorry, I don't have money to spare right now."

Every time they ask.

You're not rude for saying no, nor do you really need to give a reason. I don't like it when people spout this, but in this situation, "No" really IS a complete sentence.

Block them

A friend won't ask for a large loan OP. And I'm sorry to say, to continue hassling after you said no is manipulation. I used to do this to people when I was in active addiction and couldn't give a shit about riding roughshod over people.

I wouldn't even respond, it may just encourage them to keep trying to convince you to give it to them

Reply - " I'm not in a financial position to help you; stop asking me or i will have to end our friendship, I am not going to entertain any further discussion about monies with you. "

Brings it up again - copy and paste it and block.

No, sorry I don't have the capacity to help you.

Tbh if they are in this situation because they've taken a loan to help someone else then it's their own fault entirely and is not help even if I could

Dear friend, I don’t l is why you keep asking me - I don’t have any money. I can’t give you what I don’t have.

if they still keep coming back - oh, I was going to ask you for money, I’m short.

Op, you are being far too nice; no proper friend would do this, please block them and ignore.

They’ve asked, you said no (completely fair, whatever your circumstances), they’ve then continued to ask you. That’s not ok. Do they know about your mental health struggles? Because if they do, I’m going to assume they’re expecting to wear you down.

Either way, it doesn’t matter. It’s not unreasonable to cut off someone who is not a good friend to you. And someone who doesn’t respect your boundaries isn’t a good friend.

“No, sorry, I can’t afford it.”

"romance" scams are not restricted to romance relationships. Any relationship can be used as leverage to scam money out of those that want to do what is right.

I listened to a podcast about romance frauds and the line you said about the big loan set off my Spidey senses. One of the things they all had in common was a big drama situation that meant money/help was needed quickly and they pestered and pestered until people were up to their eyeballs in debt.

Friend or scammer this person does not respect you. You have said no, now it's time to block communication.

I would reply with, if I had a spare £200 there's a long list of things I would need to use it on before loaning it to other people. No is my answer, bring it up again and out friendship is over.