Friend keeps asking for money

[Tevion1213]

I've known them few years but we have mostly just chatted by text only met up handful of times.
He must be in a sticky situation has he's never asked for money before but I'm low income on a strict budget as have some major costs to sort I've explained this but they keep asking. Its put me off and I feel like ending the friendship. Aibu

If they were really your friend, they wouldn't have asked again either.

Please don't lend them any money OP, and don't feel bad.

You haven't done anything wrong.

Say that to him then. Exactly that - ‘I’m disappointed you keep asking me for money when you know the position I’m in. If this continues then we will have to stop speaking altogether.’

You and most people would not dream of asking again .... because they're decent people.

So this tell you something about the asker.

Get a grip and just fucking block them, then? Stop being so passive.

You don't have to justify why you can't. You've said no, that should be the end of it.

Have you been really clear? Sometimes it's easy to hedge when trying to be polite, e.g. "I'm not in a position to right now" or "I'm not sure I can because..." Most people understand the hedged answer to be a no but to the CF, it's a green light to keep asking.

Can you say something like, "look, I'm just going to put it bluntly: I'm not going to lend you money and I need you to stop asking me now. If you respect me you will stop asking. If not, I'm going to have to mute you."

Have you lent him money before? Has he paid it back?

Nip this in the bud now and say you are not in a financial position to lend him money and you don't have £200 spare. Say you are in debt yourself even if you aren't. So he gets the message that he can't ask you for money.

I disagree, I don't think it's fine to even ask once when you know someone is in financial strain, because you're just adding to their strain.

Just say you explained you can't afford to lend any money and so any further requests you will have to ignore.

Hi OP,
It is very unfair of your friend to ask again when you have said no - you are not in a position to help.

You could suggest your friend contacts Stepchange or Christians Against Poverty (CAP) - free to use debt charities that can help your friend if they can't meet their debt payments. Advise them to avoid debt companies that charge as that money could be going off the debt.

Just say "Sorry, I'm skint - please don't ask me again."

OP please stop feeling bad about saying no. This person is targeting you (you won't be the first) and if you handed over the money you wouldn't see them or it again. Either that or there would be more requests, none of them paid back.

This is not a real friend, he only pretended to be in the hope of fleecing you. Drop him, block him, and forget about him.

If he keeps asking after you've told him you can't afford it, he's not a friend, he's a user. Block his number if he continues.

The chance of you getting any money back is absolutely nil. You're not even really good friends. Just say no every single time.

@ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees message is good. Send this.

And don’t feel bad. You are absolutely doing the right thing in saying no. And if it is causing you stress, pulling back from the friendship is perfectly reasonable

I’ve only once been asked by a friend for money and it was only ten quid that she repaid next time I saw her. Friends do not ask for £200. Say no and mean it.

You sound a lovely person I hope you’re taking advice for every poster above

No is a complete sentence

Have you given them money in the past?
I would stop responding to them, and cut them out of your life. They are not a true friend, they are aware of your struggles yet still ask. Nope, not a friend.

You say 'No. I'm barely managing myself and I am not in a position to lend you money. Please stop asking.' If they continue to ask, block them. It's not unkind or unfriendly to say no.

You sound vulnerable, OP, and given the circumstances I feel concern that you are in danger of being exploited. Unless you have so much money you can afford to lose it, never lend or give money to friends.

I usually just make a joke out of requests like this and laugh saying sure I haven't a bean 😅 then ignore further requests.

More fool him.

Do not give him a penny. You won't see it again.

If a true friend knew you were struggling, they wouldn't pile on the pressure. Don't feel bad about walking away. Not all friends are forever, it sounds like this friendship has run its' course.

You need to re-frame this in your head. You barely know this person, you've 'met them a handful of times'. They are being extremely inappropriate asking you for money, you should not be feeling guilty. The answer should be an absolute no, whether you had the money spare or not.

In addition to that - the loan for a relative is like as not a lie, and they are asking you because of they've doubtless asked all the people they DO know well for money and failed to re-pay it already.

It's not your problem and I suspect they are only asking as others who are closer have got fed up
Just say No and don't ask again
Do not give in because you feel guilty
£200 is a lot of money, but even if it was £20 they've got a cheek asking you

I would never dream of asking for £200 off a 'friend' who I barely see when I know they are potless. It's an utter pisstake.
Just ignore the requests for money. If they keep coming say you will block him if he continues. Normal people genuinely don't do stuff like this.