Mother’s Day is a bit out of hand?

[TheSuggestedAmendment]

Has Mothers Day always been like this? Some big event with lunches and dramas and threads about who is going where?

I thought Mother’s Day was breakfast in bed with a bunch of flowers, maybe a card.

YABU - it’s an important day for important persons
YANBU - it’s really no biggie at all

Yanbu- just another stupid commercial event. Like Valentine's day and so many others. Yes, nice to send a card, buy simple flowers, and a simple visit, if possible. No need to go mad.

DD15 hasn’t bothered with Mothers Day for quite a few years now sadly. She’s adopted so it has something to do with that & she’s neurodivergent, finding it hard to mark any occasions that aren’t to do with her. DM is in hospital so I’ll take her card when I visit her this evening. Will buy flowers when she’s home.

Daffs and a card is enough. It is all getting out of hand, even shopping for new towels on the Christy website they have a Mothers day section.

Everyone can do Mother's Day however they wish of course. No one's compelled to make a big fuss.
More important to me is my (adult) children actually making an effort to spend some time with me on mother's day. My DS is a chef and mother's day is one of his busiest work days of the year and of course I won't expect to see him. He is not allowed to take Mother's Day off. He brought me flowers and a card yesterday.
However my DD is "dropping off " something for me today at some point.
When she says dropping off I know it will literally be that. She may not even come in the house never mind spend any time with me. She works Monday to Friday but has made plans with friends for Sunday.

So I will be spending Mother's day with my cat.

You and me both.

It’s not a big deal here. I’d much rather spend it seeing my own mum than having some kind of fuss made for me by DH and DD.

It sometimes seems like it’s the women in very one sided relationships who get all het up about it. Getting some time to myself or going for a family lunch is a normal weekend activity for us so I don’t mind a bit if I’m still doing normal things on Mother’s Day. If I was a SAHP run ragged with 3 children and a DH who usually pissed off to golf I’d probably want a fuss made of me but I’m not.

Yeah me either, and I don’t know why you’d have a first let alone a second child with someone who was going to make your life like that.

i always just get a lie in and go and get my nails done by myself! Bliss

I think it just depends on the culture in your particular family.

I once forgot about Mother’s Day somehow. Was in my late twenties and living with my parents at the time. My mum actually cried and said how disappointed she was! I felt like the worst daughter ever. And believe me, my mum is the least dramatic person in the world, selfless to a fault etc. I think because she lost her own mum quite young, it’s a really big thing for her.

It used to be for mothers, being given a card and a bunch of daffodils by their children. Now there are cards for every female relation.

I take it you haven't seen posts on SM, including here on Mumsnet, in the last few days/couple of weeks with LOTS of excess Drama about who is visiting who, who is more important in the 'Mum' stakes and people throwing rattles out of prams because they expect to have everything their own way on Mother's Day, because it is their absolute right, and stuff MIL's and their own Mother's, because they have had their time then?

Wayyy over the top in some quarters. OP is correct

We are having afternoon tea at home with my mum. I've got her a bag of compost and some nice gardening gloves.

We will go and see MIL in the morning, we got her a rose bush and some nice biscuits.

My daughter has got me some crocs 🤣

I'd forgotten that it was mothers day and i got some cheap theatre tickets so me and DH are out in the evening.

We are all individuals, we all expect and want different things on mothering Sunday. We all have a different budgets . Be grateful for a wish,message, a call , a visit , a card, a gift, chocolate , a meal. Just me greatful

My mum always made a big deal out of it when I was growing up. We had to go to church and we had to treat her like a queen for the day. God help you if you didn’t.

MD now that I’m an adult and have kids of my own is very chill. I love the stuff they’ve made me over the years, that stuff is precious and I keep all the cards especially. But I don’t need a huge fuss. It’s nice to hang out together but equally if they had plans I’d happily have some time to myself.

I always make sure I see my Mum and we usually have cards, flowers, cup of tea and a glass of wine. Since I becsme a Mum, we just did a joint day for ne & my Mum (My ex husband's family never celebrated it & also lived hours away). My children are much older now & my son will be working but I'm taking my daughter to my Mum's tomorrow. Mum will be getting her dining room looking lovely and we'll be bringing the food, so nice day all together.

On MN, yes but that’s what we are here for 😁

However I think social media eg. instagram has supercharged it. Public recognition and sharing of these days has only happened in the last 2 decades.

I've told my kids I expect them to entertain me with a special mothers day dance 😂
I'm not sure whether they'll oblige though

The ‘woe is me’ threads that have been on here the last few weeks are both ridiculous and entertaining

But this is MN so just another opportunity to say that MILs are the devil incarnate

In real life most people accept that it’s a normal day, some gifts may or may not be exchanged and that may happen today, tomorrow or next week with no drama

Not Mother’s Day related but since my dad has a Christmas Day birthday we treat Fathers Day like a birthday (cake and all) so he has one day a year that is just about him - but again if that cake is lit the day before or day after due to when people can visit he doesn’t throw any dummies out like you are grown women do on here

When we were growing up mothering Sunday was the one day out of 365 that our mother and grandmothers were waited on hand and foot and anything they wanted we would do or sort out for them. So maybe wash their car, definitely cook and clean up, organise and pay for a treat or not bother them all day if they lay in bed and read a book, and that's been passed down.

We don't overspend or go in for the commercial hype but I really do expect to do nothing on mothers day including making decisions, I do that every other day.

In theory, yes, you're right. But I am also quite confident that nobody in my household will remember it tomorrow, and damned if I'm going to remind them. :(

I didn't think I really cared about it, until a couple of years ago when they all forgot. Dc1 was in yr 7, but dc2 was still in primary, so it's not like they didn't know. I also blamed dh. I saw my arse, big time.

I don't want stuff; just an acknowledgement of the fact that I work bloody hard for them all.

They've never forgotten since!

Cards and some daffodil’s for me on Mother’s Day. I wouldn't want anything else.

sounds perfect!

No biggie

A card in this family - handmade if there's a young child involved

In the US it can be, but it really depends on the family and relationships.

Many good brunch spots are fully booked by now, so it would be difficult to get a table; much like Valentine’s Day.

I’m a new mum who’s pretty low fuss, tbh. I don’t see the appeal of going to a location for an overpriced meal, and would much prefer to have a lovely time in the garden or at a park with a picnic.