Mother’s Day is a bit out of hand?

[TheSuggestedAmendment]

Has Mothers Day always been like this? Some big event with lunches and dramas and threads about who is going where?

I thought Mother’s Day was breakfast in bed with a bunch of flowers, maybe a card.

YABU - it’s an important day for important persons
YANBU - it’s really no biggie at all

Agreed. The kids have gone to school with their £4 each to buy me something (more mugs, probably!) in the PTA mother's day sale. We're going to my parents' for dinner and I'll take my mum some flowers and a card.

I don’t know anyone in real life who gets worked up over it but there have been threads on here about the drama on it for a week already! It’s no big deal here, all I ask for is a day of no cooking 😂

Like with any other holiday, I am always surprised with how much stock people put on it having to be celebrated on that day. I get it with children and birthday/xmas but otherwise it feels like the majority of arguments is because everyone wants the actual day e.g poster’s Mum, MIL and they themselves.

For me, I like holidays for what they represent but e.g DH was away with work for my bday last year so we celebrated together on another day. We always book a meal for valentines but on a day that suits us. I get that having it on the actual day is super important for some people but I don’t really understand why.

I see more threads about the ‘drama’ of it all than the actual drama. Buy a card, don’t buy a card, I don’t know why people get so worked up about what others choose to do?

It definitely isn't high drama around here. I get to relax in the morning (though not as much this year as I have something I have to go do at 9am on Sunday, so I won't be doing much relaxing). I get cards from the dc. A nice lunch or dinner cooked by dh and I get to choose what I want to do for the day. It's always been like that.

Son number 1 is away doing his apprentiship. I might get a text from him.
Son number 2 is with his dad for the weekend so I'll see him in the evening and hopefully he will make me a cup of tea.
My mum is quite needy but luckily my sister is making lunch for us all so I will go there. I have got her a candle, socks and cheap theatre tickets. £30 for two so me and her will go. We aren't that close and I find her very stressful but going to the theatre is one thing we can do together.

I’m more than happy with a card, a coffee, and for them to wind in their bloody incessant demands just for one day! 😂

The amount of threads on here has been ridiculous.

We're having lunch at my mums and DH will probably pop a card & bottle of wine into his mums on the morning whilst I'm getting ready.

I am hoping for a lie in and a cup of tea though!

@Dogdilemma2000 So funny following the dramz on here, when the original day had nothing to do with Mums.

All I want is a bit of a lie in 🤣

That said, DH did surprise me with an early Mother's Day bouquet this morning. He knows that I love flowers 💐

I just wanted to say sorry for your loss, and this sounds lovely. I’m sure DH would be extremely proud of them.

I hope you have a great day.

A day to celebrate mothers is "getting out of hand"???

Are you for real?

Mothers who are left with the mental load, have fulltime jobs and still expected to be a fulltime housekeeper, mothers who are left by fathers to struggle alone, mothers who are judged by society when in work, or when SAHM, mothers simply can never be in the right.

Mothers who never get a break or thrown a bone.

Pregnant then screwed at work, spiralling childcare costs, kids who have mental health or ND with only mothers to fight for them (never hear of fathers fighting for their kids in this way do we?)

All the while, living with birth trauma, lifelong incontinence and pain, medical misogyny meaning menopause is ONLY JUST a conversation the nation is having, endo taking years to diagnose, miscarriage ONLY JUST a conversation the nation is having.

But sure. A day to recognise the vast, largely unnoticed work that mothers do is "getting out of hand."

Jesus fucking wept.

Don't celebrate mothers if you dont want to, but for fuck sake, get a life and get real.

A lot of the replies/advice on the threads being talked about fail to take into account that not everyone's Mum lives 10 minutes down the road.

When my Mum and my MIL were still with us, they lived at opposite ends of the UK and we were in mainland Europe.

"Just do lunch with one and afternoon tea with the other"
"Invite them both for lunch"

We are now back in the UK, one of our children lives an hour away, but their partner's Mum lives an hour in the opposite direction. Our other child lives abroad.

We have never met the UK "MIL" so it would be very weird to expect to all do something together and I wouldn't expect my DC to drive one hour in one direction and then 2 hours to us and then another hour home. They have their own children and should be doing something with them.

My DC who lives abroad works full time and has two small children. I'm certainly not expecting them to use up precious holiday (and £££) to fly over and see me (and it isn't Mother's Day there anyway).

None of this is my experience of motherhood. No one speaks for everyone.

Everyone's different. It's not 'out of hand' because some people like to make a big deal of it - that's just their choice. Plenty of people like to go out for lunch or something, but equally, for plenty of people it's a card and some flowers.

When my DD was young she asked what I wanted for mothers day, she said "youre not going to ask us to be nice to you for the day are you?" And was relieved when I said I'd like a new strap for my watch (about £8) 🤣

It is but who cares?

I'm sick of it. I told my adult DS not to do it because it's just a clinton card day - he's lovely all year round so I don't need a trumpet fanfare one day a year.
My own mother demands flowers, gifts and cards even though she's a terrible mother and we barely speak to each other.

I guess it depends what you want it to be.
For me, it means remembering Mothers Day, probably for the first 5 years of having children, DH forgot and only noticed if he saw men in the street with flowers etc. I'm not that fussed about having an experience, getting flowers, or being taken out to lunch.. but actually having done about 90% of the parenting at that stage and prompting him to get a mother's day card for his mum, and probably posting it, it would be nice for it to be recognised.
Once DD chose a tacky sign about mums and he bought it. He wouldn't stop going on about how much of a rip off it was (it was) ....but he must have agreed to buy it or not given her a budget. I usually hear about it every mothers day. I'd have been just as happy with a card (and no whinging)!

It's just part of retailers and card companies rolling campaigns of themes and seasonal aisles selling tat to the masses.
Couldn't be less bothered

There's always always been Mothering Sunday Drama threads on MN.

If you're pissed off because your partner/child has behaved appallingly and you have a miserable day (or if you're amazingly high maintenance and they have failed to live up to your bonkers demand) or if your DM/MIL/the mother of your partner's child has been making bonkers demands (IYO) then this is where you come to moan and get sympathy.

Nobody posts to say "my DC brought me tea in bed and a card/my adult DC took me out for lunch/my husband bought me a bunch of flowers/diamond bracelet to celebrate my first Mother's Day since our baby's birth, wasn't that nice", even though there's probably loads more mumsnetters in that situation.

I haven't spent Mother's Day with my own mum, and we have a wonderful relationship, for DECADES. I send flowers and a card. It's arbitrary bs.

I get breakfast in bed, if lucky, and a card from each DD.

I didn’t vote because it’s somewhere inbetween. A card and some flowers or chocs or a small gift. I don’t buy into all the overdoing it. Who in their right minds wants to eat out on a day like Mother’s Day or Valentine’s Day - it’s like Christmas menus, over priced and never the best food selection, too many people there 🤷

Better to invite family round for a meal or a cuppa or visit them. Mark the day but don’t go over the top

This thread is over the top. I like to have a meal out on Mother's Day. It's a nice occasion. We sit at the table and have a nice lunch. I will get a card and a gift chosen by DD and put my feet up for the day. I'm happy with that

And it was my mums birthday yesterday. She lives an hour away so I went to see her last night with DD