Mother’s Day is a bit out of hand?

[TheSuggestedAmendment]

Has Mothers Day always been like this? Some big event with lunches and dramas and threads about who is going where?

I thought Mother’s Day was breakfast in bed with a bunch of flowers, maybe a card.

YABU - it’s an important day for important persons
YANBU - it’s really no biggie at all

Commercialism at its worst - right up there with Valentines Day.
Breakfast in bed and a homemade card is perfect! Eating out is always ridiculously busy and expensive so we’ve never done it on MD.

You really only see this amount of drama on mumsnet

The slagging off of MILS and the hatred for a PARTNER who just does the basics

It's only on here I see it

We have always celebrated it within our family as a big deal but by family I mean DH and our children. I get presents, a fuss, a nice meal, some wine. It's always a lovely day.

My mum hasn't lived in the same country as me for years and MIL gets a present and a card and sometimes we do something on the day with her and sometimes we don't.

DP is working. Only me and DC 7&9. We have no plans. I'd love to have a really long lay in and someone to cook me a roast.

Everywhere is going to be busy so maybe it best to stay at home 🤣

Honestly, I think it's just the drama lamas on here. For the women in my circle, a small token or gesture from the kids is perfect. Depending on the age of the kids, a card or text, maybe something nice for breakfast, a bunch of daffodils, or even just a 'I love you' mum,' is perfect. I don't know why anyone would want to go out to eat on Mother's Day in an overstuffed restaurant with an over-priced menu.

It's not a big deal in our house. An acknowledgement and a bunch of tulips(my favourite flower) is enough for me.

My mother was an abusive witch so I don't do anything as far as she is concerned and we won't be seeing mil but did last weekend and brought her a bunch of flowers then which she was delighted with.

It's totally out of hand

I just want a card to be honest

I'm going to my favourite gym class in the morning, then home and will either go for a walk on the beach or watch a film (weather dependent) then we've got a mid afternoon Sunday lunch booked at our local pub. No drama

Not a big deal for us - or for mil! Its just a celebration to make ££££ now, its not even originally about mothers (the people). I like to do nice things, but dont need Hallmark / Moon Pig to tell me.

DS (5) did tell me today he's got a surprise for me that he made but he can't tell me what it is or it won't be a surprise, then asked me if I wanted a clue 😁 I said no I'll keep it as a lovely surprise. It's probably a card he's made and I know DH gave him £2 in an envelope (cash limit specified by the school) to spend at the PTA stall, so that'll be interesting!

I’m with you. I’m having the same last-minute panic I have at this point every year when I can’t find what to buy her and end up throwing money at something just for the sake of having something. I’m on maternity leave, already deep in my overdraft but feel I need to get a proper present as this expectation has built up over the years. I also started my children buying my grandma a present and cards so now I have that to cover too 🤦🏻‍♀️

I've been on here over a decade, the threads aren't new. At their core, most of them are about juggling extended family, women ground down by carrying responsibilities and women feeling unappreciated by partners who don't pull their weight. I get less judgemental every year.

In my real life, mother's day will be very similar to the mother's days I remember growing up.

Its a big deal for some and not for others just like its simple for some and not for others.

For Mothers Day, when I didnt have kids I would spoil my mum and MIL, theres still an element of that but now I'm a fairly new mum and like Mothers Day for me. I don't expect gifts but just good quality time together doing something nice is enough.

Just like any holiday, it is what you make it. It can be as extravagant as you want or as low key. It depends on the individual. I personally like making a big deal of the holidays, I do it for myself and for others.

No, it really wasn't.

I actually wondered about calling it mums of adult daughters day. All the adult daughters i know seem to have to go all out for their mums, whilst being ignored at home.

Just another day IMO.

Gone are the days when you made a gift of a covered bottom of Dairlylea triangle box with flour-and-water glued multi-coloured 'flowers' made from artfully folded tissues (thank you Blue Peter!), and then gave it to your mum with a coffee before she got up to get on with the rest of the (normal) day
Today, unless the DH has arranged a full open-topped bus parade with garlands of Andean lillies hand-picked by virgin eunuchs, children bathed and dressed in their Sunday best, a card hand-crafted by pixies, and a slap-up meal at Mrs Miggins Pie Shoppe, life is just not worth living and everyone hates me.

@VestibuleVirgin

Yes, spot on.
😅

There's definitely more drama to it on man - but that's true of a lot of things.

If you just had mn to go by, you'd think Mother's Day did nothing but cause grief and upset to mums.

I don't think my dad ever did anything for my mum for MD (or her for FD). And was never expected to. It was only ever a day for her kids to buy her a card and - as she got older and we got richer - a gift.

That meant she went without either for at least ten years when we were little. But this didn't seem an issue to her at the time.

But I do see that lots of the angst on here is really about 365 day upset, just condensed into anger or hurt on this one day which pushes people over the edge.

I really hate the new trend of businesses emailing you in advance to make a big fuss about how you can opt out of their mothers' day stuff. Like, ah, yeah, thanks, you're actually emphasising the fact that I won't be doing anything for my alcoholic, self-centred mother. I used to happily ignore it but these communications make it worse.

I've got nothing against mothers' day and know that most mothers are great! To all of you with lovely mums (or who are lovely mums), I hope you get treats and a nice day.

I get a hug some flowers or a drawing and I declare what I want for dinner

We may go somewhere like a garden or something if nothing else on and that's it

I save the tantrums for later

Birthdays, Fathers Day, and Mothers Day 'rules' for us are the same. Whoever's day it is doesn't have to do any jobs, even making hot drinks! (unless they choose to), gets up when they want and generally can be a person of leisure. They get first refusal on what's on TV, and they get a gift, or trip out, or a combination of both, depending on cash availability.
It's not really been an issue, kids are quite good at getting stuff without too much nagging, and they're old enough now that we don't have to think about it.

Mum and I will go to church (not our Mother Churches because then we would be at separate ones). Then we usually have afternoon tea at one of our houses. Might buy her some daffs.

I like, nay LOVE any excuse for any celebration. The bigger the better. This included. I'm glad I get a present and give a present and go for numerous meals to celebrate the mother I am and the mothers I have in an elaborate and expensive weekend once a year. I appreciate the privilege I have to enjoy that too.

But no it hasn't always been such a huge deal! And in many ways I lament the fact that my children have never handed me a teapot shaped card with a tea bag in it- which was all the rage when I was a child. The teapot card and a bunch of daffodils was the only expectation a mother could have circa south wales '87-97. And most mams went on to do a corker of a Sunday lunch alone that same day.

It’s got totally ridiculous.

A complete non event here. I may get an ecard from my own children but they won’t come over and I won’t be visiting my own mother either.