To get seriously wound up when women of a "certain age" use the expression "This is MY time now"!

[UniversallyChallenged]

as though they have been forced to be wives and mothers for years. It's always accompanied by some totally selfish thing they want to do and a "Woah - get ME!" look

Totally understand people wanting a bit of "me" time now and again - but this expression is getting so common it's driving me MAD!

As you may be able to tell

It doesn't make me itch quite as much as 'me time' but I know what you mean.

'me time' in itself is a concept I can't seem to get my head around. It's just something else some women can either moan about or fail at.

YABU. For many women they were 'forced' into giving up much of their own identity because of society and the expectations on women. We are lucky to have some (how much is debatable) freedom to choose how we combine our roles.

cant say i ever say it

i just attempt to do it

my dd1 does tell me i should be doing what i want now

ie having fun

i'm doing my best to oblige

that people feel they can 'own' time.

I'll half an hour starting at 330pm, please

But yes, it smacks of martyrdom to me.

My Mum is doing a lot of this at the moment. She appears to be re-writing the whole of my childhood into something where she was the family drudge, and has now broken free into the butterfly-like creature she should always have been. No matter that she chose to stay at home and look after my sis and me, then went back to work when wanted and has a career she enjoys

yabu
why shouldn't we have some time off in the future?!!
We have to have something to get us through thses painstaking early years

well nothing beats a good stuff i sacrificed for you kids/husband etc

its not half as bad the expression women of a certain age now that doies make me cringe

There is a difference though between burning martyrdom and wanting a chance to be acknowledged as a person in your own right with your own aspirations, rather than being defined by your relationships to other people.

mmm I'm 40 does that make me "a woman of a certain age"

I don't see what is wrong with them wanting some me time, however, to some it seems more importnant than remembering that although their kids are grown ups, they may still at some point need them.

Xp's 20yr old Dd, is pregnant and although living with the baby's father, it isn't going well at all as baby's father is a twat. Everyone wants her to get rid of the baby, but she is adament she is keeping it.
Her mother who now lives alone in a 3 bed semi, has told the daughter that there is no way she can move back home, as this is her time now, she has done raising kids (xp's dd is more than capable of being a mum so she'd be doing the raising).

I think that attitude stinks. She'd rather force her dd to stay in a unhappy relationship than help her out for a while.

My mum does this. She uses this expression to justify dressing and behaving like a teenager. Although she is fully entitled to enjoy herself after bringing up four children.

YABU its their time, their life, their choice. Is your back up because the 'me time' woman is your mum or auntie or something and you would like more help with or support with the kids?
what SHOULD 'a woman of a certain age be doing' then if it was up to you to dictate?

i think i am going to find this thread amusing

thinking and dressing like a teenager isn't going to kill anyone lol

I like to spend time on my own and I like to have interests and hobbies beyond my immediate family, but I don't consider this "me time". I consider it life. People are multi-faceted and being a wife and a mother is part of who I am, but it is not the whole picture of me as a human being.

I think that part of the problem is that, despite years of feminism, society places an expectation (real or perceived) on women that motherhood is about chronic selflessness, giving to others, neglecting oneself. If women fall for this "Mother as Martyr" stereotype (which, I think, it is very easy to do) it follows that at some point they start to resent it, hence the prevalence of "me time" or "my time now" sentiments.

If this idea of motherhood was not so pervasive, if we accepted that women - even mothers shock horror - were all different than each other, bringing different knowledge, skills, preconceptions and even flaws to the role, and having multifaceted lives including different jobs, hobbies and interests that informed their role as women beyond motherhood, then we might begin to address this issue.

Clearly this is just my opinion though

glad not everyone thinks IABU - EllieG summed what i mean up exactly.

i think the other thing is that you realise you have been in a rut for years or you get divorced or something or meet different people nd think god is this all life is i am not going to just sleep walk into old age i am going to get a grip and take control of my life and do stuff

and sometimes the parasites grown up kids resent it as they like you in your place and nice and predictable and available and unchanging in their manic and busy lives the constant

YABU. my mum has never used this phrase but is living the sentiment, although i know she'd drop everything if we needed her. she's having a great time going on holidays, going to the gym, pottering around andi think it's fabulous

mine don't resent it tho i am lucky

or maybe all those selfless years of sacrifice have paid off

I am quite enjoying my "matyrdom years" though I'm only 5 years into them, lol. I am actually enjoying being a mum and loving the whole being at home, seeing lots of people side of things. I don't feel like a drudge at all (though that might be because of my relaxed attitude to housework, ahem). I am also only a few years off 40 so I think the "woman of a certain age" must be a bit older than that.

I think that because I started my family in my 30s that I had lots of fun/me time before that - I started my family when I was quite happy to kiss that all goodbye for a while. Though I can see that in the future I will enjoy some of the child free benefits I am not longing for them, I also don't think that you stop being a mother when your children are adults - at least my Mum hasn't - she's always there for us, even now.

So I'm not sure if you're being unreasonable or not - probably not - I do hate all these catch-phrases that need fingers crooked in inverted commas when you say them. MBA speak in real life, yuk.

no skeletonbones it's not my mum/auntie or someone who wont help me out! am very lucky as my mum and i have lovely friendship

It's just an expression i keep hearing/reading etc and I really dislike it.

It makes my toes curl for some reason I cant exactly fathom

I wish my parents would have a bit of "me time" - have some fun, ignore me, travel the world etc etc, rather than dragging my sister and me into every dysfunctional aspect of their miserable marriage/lives.

YABU at least your mother is attempting to live in the moment and get something "more" out of life now that children are not at home.

I can't stand "me time".