To get seriously wound up when women of a "certain age" use the expression "This is MY time now"!

[UniversallyChallenged]

as though they have been forced to be wives and mothers for years. It's always accompanied by some totally selfish thing they want to do and a "Woah - get ME!" look

Totally understand people wanting a bit of "me" time now and again - but this expression is getting so common it's driving me MAD!

As you may be able to tell

and rather cunningly having children all close together means they can all support each other and share so i can back off and have some fun

YAB totally U, first off, what difference does it make to you what the hell anyone else does? its none of your business if they want to swing naked off the chandeliers. Secondly i intend on starting 'my time' when my youngest child starts full time school in september, i plan on getting a job that i have trained hard for. Yes i am a wife and a mother, and that is my priority, but when i got pregnant and took my wedding vows i did not pledge to give up my own identity full time, i have been a SAHM because that was my choice and i felt it was the right thing to do for myself and my children (just my personal opinion)So now i am looking forward to having something independant from my family in my life, is that so wrong?

My aunt worked in the bank in 1971 when she got married and she HAD to give up.

My Mum was a psychiatric nurse when she got married in 1968, and because she now a married woman she had to re-apply for her own job. She got it, but can you imagine it nowadays!!!

It was still hard to fly in the face of convention in 2003. I chose to have a child unmarried. Never underestimate the difficulty of adhering even slightly from the norm!!

Well the expression "women of a certain age" tends to make me want to tear the speakers leg off to beat them with the wet bit.

What does 'a certain age' mean?

And when I have finished working bloody miracles for the 4 people (plus animals) that I live with, and holding down a job (damned well though I say it myself ), I hope there will be some time for me to do what I want with what remains of my life. There is nothing martyrish about it. I am sure DH feels the same. When you have children and responsibilities you can't do all the things you want to do. Doesn't mean you hate your life, but some of it gets you down. Unless you have vast wealth presumably, and can pay someone to do all the tough bits for you.

I didn't mean adhering, I meant deviating. WHY did I type that. I sometimes say cucumber when I mean computer....

lol MC, i think u better stop now

This phrase really bothers you?

I don't think any mother really knows what she's getting herself into when she has a baby. I definitely didn't know how little time I'd have for doing the other things I want to.

It's with total relish that I find the occasional slot to be reckless or just indulgent. Sorry about that.

YABU.

That is so true winky. And having one baby is very different from having a baby and a toddler, and very different again from one baby, a toddler and a child. And so on. I've just started to taste the delight of teenagerdom . You can't know how it's going to be.

the more i think about this i think it would be really awfulk if my kids felt that way

they want me having fun so they dont fel guilty and like they have to shore me up

tho they would do that

they just prefer the idea of me doing all the stuff i never did when i was younger

Phrases that annoy me, a bit, are "at this moment in time" which means, in a word, NOW!!!

I'm not foaming at the mouth with rage though!

i think some women may use the phrase 'me time' defensivly, not all of us are lucky enough to have supportive partners/parents/kids as we get older and have more time to persue our own interests, some women are made to feel quite guilty that they actually have the nerve to spend some time/money whatever on themselves - makes me quite cross, i don't hear men using this expression very often, it's usually called 'retirement'

well exactly i dont have a partner or parents and i am sure my kids dont want me to lead a vicarious existence through them for the redst of my life

If 'women of a certain age' are using this phrase to justify themselves, presumably they are being made to feel unreasonable for wanting to have a life.

I am 51, I have DS who is 20 & at university and DD who is 18 & just in the process of applying - and DH and I are looking forward to her going, partly because we are proud of what she has achieved and of the adult she has become, but also because we are looking forward to having the house to ourselves and the freedom to do what we want when we want to without taking anyone else into account for at least some of the year. We will also miss her terribly, as we do DS, and will look forward to having her back in the holidays.

I don't resent the time I spent bringing them up, I enjoyed it, but I think it's natural to want to have time to yourself.

I wish DH's mum had had some 'me time' once her children had left home, instead of taking an unnecessary degree of interest in
all our concerns and telling me (in front of her husband) that if it hadn't been for her children she would have had no reason to live...

My mum gave so much of herself to us that she was lost when we left home. She admits it. And I spent years feeling guilty about her. When DH and first moved in together I used to insist on seeing my parents every weekend. Madness! But she made me feel as if DB and I were her only reason for living. I would never do that to my DCs. It was horrible.

i'm slightly younger than you rustybear but am looking forward in the same way, dd will not be living at home in a couple of years, i will miss her like i can't say, but i know SHE will be a much rounder person if i don't end up as the sort of mother who cannot function as a seperate being iyswim

i want enough interests etc for her to find spending time with me enjoyable, not a chore!

ooh, so when does this mythical 'my/me time' begin then?

i wish i knew

YAB totally U! I have been a mother for years, I have loved it but it doesn't leave a lot of spare time between the home, work and committees etc. When the DCs have gone I am going to have 'me'time. My OH and I are going to travel, have hobbies and a social life. I have already told the DCs that I am going to be eccentric-I am going to grow old disgracefully! I intend to be still skiing at 70 (health permitting). Eventually I would love grandchildren to have fun with and have to stay but I have no intention of looking after them all day-I have done my bit.I will baby sit, but as it fits in with me.

theme song

Brilliant!

Wish my Mum had had time to say 'this is MY time now'
Brought up 5 kids since 1950 whilst working as a machinist, cleaner, school dinnerlady, took on two small grandchildren at 49 and brought them up due to their Mum's untimely death, dealt with my VERY challenging sister, then had 2 heart attacks and died of cancer at 67.
I don't know whether she would have called it 'Me Time' or what, but I do wish she had had it.

does anyone else think we give, particularly young women, very conflicting messages - yes, you can have as many children as you feel comfortable with, yes, you can have a very good, well paid career, yes you should live in a lovely clean, beautifully furnished home, yes, your husband should respect all your decisions!!!

ohhhh, this comes at a price btw - if your children fail (at anything) you are a BAD mother, if your marriage stumbles you are a BAD wife, if you put your old parents in a home you are a BAD child and if you have the bloody nerve to go to bingo/do a phd/flower arranging course you are doubly damned!!!!

i honestly don't feel that men have this judgement heaped upon them, even in this day of 'equality'. the worst part is, to me, that it seems to be women judging women, instead of being the supportive network that we could be

(slinks off to put orange box back on veg stall )

Well I am in the middle of 'my time' at the mo'.

All my DC's are at school now( DD started this year) . I have about 5 years and then DS2 will finish school and come home to me until I am too old to care for him. He will not be independent and I am pretty certain that unless he regresses he will not go to residential care.
He is my son , mt responsibilty and i welcome it but it means that...
..... this is my time.

And if anyone objects to me having a few years while I can have a coffee and a twirl around the shops every now and again then they can swivel

Yes jesuswhatnext. Of course we do. It's called 'having it all' .

I love my DCs (sometimes quite out of all proportion), I am reasonably fond of my DH , I am grateful to and respect my parents (beleive me they are damn good ones as far as I can see) and at times I enjoy my work. But I hate and despise housework and most of all I hate having to fit everything in to my day so that what I want to do gets squeezed out and I end up feeling (and looking) like a wrung out dishcloth. If I knew 12 years ago what I knew now I'm not sure I'd be where I am now ifswim.