To get seriously wound up when women of a "certain age" use the expression "This is MY time now"!

[UniversallyChallenged]

as though they have been forced to be wives and mothers for years. It's always accompanied by some totally selfish thing they want to do and a "Woah - get ME!" look

Totally understand people wanting a bit of "me" time now and again - but this expression is getting so common it's driving me MAD!

As you may be able to tell

'I don't see what is wrong with them wanting some me time, however, to some it seems more importnant than remembering that although their kids are grown ups, they may still at some point need them.

Xp's 20yr old Dd, is pregnant and although living with the baby's father, it isn't going well at all as baby's father is a twat. Everyone wants her to get rid of the baby, but she is adament she is keeping it.
Her mother who now lives alone in a 3 bed semi, has told the daughter that there is no way she can move back home, as this is her time now, she has done raising kids (xp's dd is more than capable of being a mum so she'd be doing the raising).

I think that attitude stinks. She'd rather force her dd to stay in a unhappy relationship than help her out for a while.'

I just thought I would quote this from page 1. The attitude does not stink!! The poor woman has finally got freedom after at least 20 years of being a mother and she is expected to do it again because her daughter has made a bad choice in life-and she is called selfish because she doesn't want to have her living with her!!
I have loved being a mother and would do the same again but I have passed that stage and am looking forward to going on to other things. I have been a good mother-given my DCs an excellent start in life-when they are adults the rest is up to them!

thats just what i'm talking about ormirian, i think that young women are given a totally false view of what being a mum and a homemaker is all about, i've actually quite enjoyed it, although my life is very far removed from the one my mother led (sahm, corporate wife - her , not me ) i work, always have done, been divorced, bought own house etc, i don't mean that smuggly either, i'm just lucky that i did'nt fall apart at times when i proberbably should have done.

i read some of the threads on here and feel dispair for some of these women - they have been sold a horrible lie, and then when they see that they are 'missing the mark' the unhappiness is palpable - i never want my dd to feel such pressure to be perfect

to the op - what the hell age is "women of a certain age"??

I think its a generation thing. My Mum and MIL always talk (and acted) as though kids were something that just happened and were forced onto everyone. As though you stood in a queue and got given a number of dependant beings that you had to support forever and you didnt have any choice in the matter - and then they acted accordingly. Certainly in my case my Mum acted as though she was doing me a big favour by providing me with enough food to eat and clothes on my back. So by that token no YANBU. It irritates me too. Your kids didnt just HAPPEN to you - you had some say in the matter.

Personally I find my kids a gift and feel incredibly lucky to have them. Being with them IS my best time - though I do like to sneak off to the Cinema ALONE occasionally.

the menopause used to be about empowering women and allowing them a new creative zest for their lives

now it's about raising small children for many women

I am fine with 'My turn now' .. but then I don't expect other people (even my parents) to help me out, because a) I'm an adult and b) they never have really

Children are a gift and I am incredibly lucky to have 3 lovely, healthy DSs. Bringing them up has been my best time, I don't regret it or resent it it has been fantastic and I look forward to lots more years of their company and fun but I am now looking forward to moving on to other things-e.g seeing Australia, having holidays out of the school term, spending more time with OH and it will be 'me' time.

and you enjoy it Abbey!

chelsygirl - cant you work that out from the answers given?

To the other questions asked me -again- no am not upset about my mum not helping. She and I have a lovely relationship, I help her as a daughter, she helps me as a mum.

No to the poster cant remember who it was sorry - i dont have anything else to worry about as you can tell from my profile am sure . Goodness me, why click on and post on a thread you obviously have no interest in saying "havent you got anything else to worry about?"

as an "older mother" this should be "my Time" now, but instead I'm still busy mothering primary school kids.

by the time it's "my time" I'm going to be past it.

BecauseImworthIt - ? I wasnt surprised that my friend knew how to work a digital camera and computor. Never said I was. I said my dds were "well impressed". High praise coming from them!

I was horrified that she had the gall to go on a course when she could have taken all my children- that I decided to have- and give me some "me time" away from my hellish lfe. Selfish lady, how very dare she have her own life?

By the time my dd2 is 18 I will have been a parent for a total of 42 years

I will definitely being saying "This is MY time now"

So yes UC YABU

oh cam

well done Cammelia

I will have been a mum for 28 years ( but I spent the first 14 of those with a pre-schooler at home - so that was hard too)

well spitting the kids out in quick succession does mean the me time arrives more quickly i guess

oh yes Zippi - a mere 20 year sentence for me

of course i am also on my own thread saying how weird being on my own is going to be

YABU
I fully expect to be saying that in 15 years, by which time DD will be 21, and I will be able to live my life as I want.
That doesn't mean I won't be a Mum anymore or that I won't be there if she needs me but I will be expecting her to stand on her own two feet and I won't be going at a moments notice.

I'd love "me time" too but I accept that it only happens during school hours and then I'm still the one on call.

Perhaps you're not in my situation?

what situ is that?

I am so glad that I am not alone! I will have been a mum for 25years by the time my youngest leaves-I have done all sorts of things that I don't particularly want to- such as standing in the rain for hours on a football pitch when I hate football! I think I deserve time off and not to be at the beck and call of grown up children-they do all sorts of exciting things like go skiing in Utah so I am going to as well!

YANBU- They weren't forced into having children and use it as an excuse for never babysitting the grandchildren.

Can we have some examples of the 'totally selfish' things the people referred to in the OP want to do?

sorry don't agree. my friend's mum raised a family and then went back to University trained as a SW. That was her me time. she had tirelessly raised wonderful adults, so yes now wanted to fulfill her ambitions she put on hold for them

mrsruffallo - why would you expect GPs to babysit?

I'm never really sure why GPs should be expected to babysit anymore than anyone else. If they don't want to, then that's cool. Just like with anyone else.