it's unacceptable to to mock someone's accent

[nottooimpressed]

I've lived in the UK for almost 30 years and I speak 5 languages fluently. Yet, despite having a top degree from a UK uni and having worked in the UK for decades, I still have a very strong foreign accent and I find the pronunciation of some English words challenging, for example "paw", "wood" etc... My kids (UK born and with perfect British accents) mock me frequently and yesterday, when we talked at dinner and I said something about walking in the "woods" I got mocked again and I exploded. It's not the first time I got upset about it but yesterday I really had enough. I found it so offensive that kids would mock their mother about her foreign accent and pronunciation (the same mother who taught them to read and still helps them with their senior school essays...) and that my British husband did nothing about it and let them do it. I often meet Scottish or Irish people who keep their strong accents despite being in London for decades. It seems acceptable. Why is my accent laughable then? What is acceptable and what is not? Am I too sensitive or are they behaving like little twats? What does it say about my husband?

As a child I got mocked for my accent a lot and I still do sometimes now but it doesn't bother me at all, I think it's funny and I can see that my pronunciation of certain words is funny. Lighten up OP.

I have a foreign accent but I don't care about standing out in this way. I'm used to it and agree that some people question your intelligence when speaking with an accent but I just think to myself that they are the ignorant ones. I also speak 5 languages, 3 of them fluently and am generally quite well educated. My dc have on occasion made fun of my accent but by and large they are quite loyal and say they like my accent and the fact that I don't sound typically British, one of my dc says she wants an accent 😂. I can also confirm that my teens can be very annoying at times but I don't take it personally, usually. My husband would not stand by if they were outright rude to me though. But I'm ok with them teasing me and happy to laugh at myself etc.

I think it's v rude to mock someone's accent

People saying it's just fun probably wouldn't like it if it happened to them

I currently live and work in a country where although I speak the local language fluently I will never, ever sound like a native speaker. There are some sounds my mouth cannot produce! Perhaps your children are just ignorant of the fact that they themselves probably don't sound too great when speaking a language that is not their first language. If they have learned French or German at a UK school they are unlikely to pronounce the words correctly! My children also make fun of me sometimes but life is too short so I merrily over-mispronounce the words to annoy them even more!

OP doesn't have to accept anyone taking the piss out of her language skills/pronunciation.

It isn't gentle fun poking in 2 directions, it is her children (and DH) behaving disrespectfully.

Do you speak any foreign languages or have an accent? would you just suck it up without being upset? (more fool you if the answer is "yes"). As pp say "it's only a joke if everyone is laughing"

Agree - it’s like when people say ‘oh it’s only banter’. It’s only acceptable when all people see the joke

can you imagine how frustrating it is trying to get a point across and all people can focus on is that you’ve said a word funny

if OP had a big hairy mole and she had repeatedly told her children and DH not to make fun of it because it upsets her but they carry on - should she suck that up?

When you tell people - especially your close family - to stop doing hurtful things, they are cunts if they carry on.

Did you read my post before posting this? The bit where I said this

I'm the same and have made peace with perpetually being a foreigner due to my native accent. It certainly doesn't bother me and has taught me to not care so much about what other people think and how they perceive me. I'm happy to be a bit different and get reward with an interesting life that's not in my birth country. Why does it matter so much to you that you have an accent?

Having read my post, how can you ask ‘Do you speak any foreign languages or have an accent? would you just suck it up without being upset?’ I mean it's written right there.

I can't imagine being so wound up by my children teasing me. Tease them back, or explain. If they always act rudely and without empathy including the husband, then OP has bigger problems.

I get laughed at at work. Im English and from East yorkshire, I work in South Yorkshire. I tell them its not my fault they can't speak correctly or that they come from the wrong yorkshire. It soon shuts them up.

she does have bigger problems. Well bloody done for spotting what lots of us have been saying for pages now.

If her children, with the support of her DH, are insulting her without any consideration for her feelings - there are huge problems.

And none of the "oh just accept it" bollocks that anyone has posted will cut it.

My accent gets mocked by southern colleagues all the time. I don’t really care. I’m erring on the side of YABU because if it’s meant in jest and the person is not easily offended by it then it’s no different from other friendly teasing.

again, the point being that you don't care. OP does and yet they carry on.

As I said before I'd be speaking a language they don't understand and basically leaving them to fend for themselves (including DH) until they stop it. The lack of respect from her children and the man who apparently loves her is staggering.

But... we don't know if OP's family always act rudely and without empathy. Just in relation to OP getting annoyed about the kids making fun of her pronunciation. Does OP get as annoyed when her dc make fun about something else related to OP? Because, you know teens... they do like to annoy their parents. So far OP has just said they make fun of her accent she hasn't said they are rude and horrible across the board.

What some of us are pointing out is that having a foreign accent always stand out, there is really not much you can do about this. There will always be people who treat you as if you are stupid or look at you in a perplexed, confused and even horrified way when they realise you are not 'from here'. 😂I don't let this bother me. My kids correct my pronunciation but and sometimes they will make fun of me. If all is well otherwise in the family, people normally withstand this sort of thing. However if OP feel unloved by what may be generally rude and unempathetic children and husband I can understand that she would be fed up. But she hasn't said that her family are like this, just that they find her accent a bit funny.

Completely agree. You need to be less sensitive and insecure. There's no such thing as "perfect british accents". Britain has so many regional accents; i'm cockney (born in Whitechapel and grew up in Poplar). My fiancé is from Sunderland and has a Mackem accent. We regularly take the mick out of the way we pronounce words. Its not that deep

@nottooimpressed can you write down what they say they hear when you are saying the words they laugh at?? using the syllables as they sound

This is a time you very dryly say "I taught you how to use the potty so don't criticise my speech" roll your eyes and ignore. Children always think they know everything 🙄😂

have you read the OPs posts? She clearly says she laughs along but at times it is disrespectful and belittling

this isn’t just a harmless family joke because she isn’t finding it funny and it doesn’t matter if other people would find it funny. That’s been the defence to offensive banter for years ‘oh lighten up, can’t you take a joke?’ Well she didn’t find it funny this time because she was trying to make a serious point which was completely ignored so they could have a laugh at her pronounciation. It’s time and place.

I speak basic conversational French, not fluent but I can hold my own and my occasional mangling of words often causes amusement to my French friends. I just use such occasions as a mini lesson and my French friends are happy to hold my hand and walk me through a correct pronunciation.

I agree.

IME you can join in with the joke for a bit, but it gets wearying after years of the same thing and I'm not surprised you find it hurtful and annoying.

My children are much younger than yours and I'm trying to teach them that even if Mum says "black" funny, or asks for a "pin" instead of a "pen" you just act as if you've heard the correct pronunciation.

I've been here 17 years and still can't hear the difference between Ellis and Alice, btw.

YADNBU, OP. I am bilingual (well, multilingual like you, but I consider myself bilingual in my two primary languages) and this behaviour annoys the hell out of me. You mostly get it in the UK, it's considered rude in most European countries (and I agree). I am with you wholeheartedly. Only Brits smirk and ridicule foreign names too, this would be incredibly rude and unacceptable in Europe.

Tbf my French and German accents have been mocked by strangers/friends in the respective countries so I don’t think it’s uniquely a British thing

Usually though OP mocking or teasing within a family can come from a place of love and comfort and in jokes. Perhaps they believe you are expressing faux outrage as part of the same joke. I would raise it as a discussion at a time when it hasn't happened explaining how it upsets and distresses you and that you need to get it off your chest.

If it was a colleague or stranger then yes I would say its definitely wrong to mock but within a family dynamic without knowing whether you are living in an abusive situation and without full facts it may be just teasing and they really don't realise that you mean it when you bite back.

OP I am Australian and people in the UK mimic me or mock me very frequently and I bloody hate it. It's rude and disrespectful.

My older son is 13 and can mimic me absolutely perfectly - THIS I actually love because he is doing it out of love and good humour. The day will come I am sure when he mimics me to be an obnoxious little shit and I absolutely will point out where the line is.

So in short, I sympathise.

@GrouchyKiwi if you listened to a scottish person saying those two names you would hear the difference. scots pronounce their A's as "a" like "a" house, the english seem to pronounce it as "eh" especially if they are upper class

I feel your pain, OP. I have a regional accent which people where I live find either ‘ cute’ or take the piss. It’s annoying.
So when MY children started doing the same, mimicking or correcting my dialect I sat them down and explained why Indont like it and wouldn’t accept it from them.
I also pointed out that THEIR accents sound odd to me but I don’t make fun of them. Tempting as it is at times…