it's unacceptable to to mock someone's accent

[nottooimpressed]

I've lived in the UK for almost 30 years and I speak 5 languages fluently. Yet, despite having a top degree from a UK uni and having worked in the UK for decades, I still have a very strong foreign accent and I find the pronunciation of some English words challenging, for example "paw", "wood" etc... My kids (UK born and with perfect British accents) mock me frequently and yesterday, when we talked at dinner and I said something about walking in the "woods" I got mocked again and I exploded. It's not the first time I got upset about it but yesterday I really had enough. I found it so offensive that kids would mock their mother about her foreign accent and pronunciation (the same mother who taught them to read and still helps them with their senior school essays...) and that my British husband did nothing about it and let them do it. I often meet Scottish or Irish people who keep their strong accents despite being in London for decades. It seems acceptable. Why is my accent laughable then? What is acceptable and what is not? Am I too sensitive or are they behaving like little twats? What does it say about my husband?

@OnTheRoll you articulated it so perfectly... Thank you.

It's quite funny actually, my older boy goes to a school full of Asian pupils. I've actually just asked him before seeing your post what would happen if he teased one of them about having a Chinese or Indian accent. He said he would get expelled. I also asked my senior manager husband what would happen if someone in his office was teased about their accent. I saw a very confused face... And obviously they would be warned and disciplined. But somehow he has no problem with his own kids ridiculing their own mother?

My late FIL was Polish, and despite living here for nearly 60 years, his English was quite poor and his accent very thick. Not one of us would ever have dreamed of mocking him for it.

I'm from the East Midlands. I went to uni in Yorkshire, and most of my fellow students were from further north of there. I was mocked for being a 'southerner'. Then I moved to the South East, and was mocked for my 'northern' accent. It gets tedious, and I'm not even foreign.

If your kids know it upsets you, they shouldn't be doing it. Can you think of anything they do that you resist laughing at them for? Can you point that out so that they start to empathise?

I can tell you as a Scottish person with many English friends that we most definitley get mocked too... but its all in jest I just give it back and mock theirs 😊

Everyone thinks they can do a scouse accent, saying things like "yer what lar".
Believe me, they just sound stupid.

Funnily enough, English people saying squirrel in French (écureuil) is also considered funny and French people laugh about it.

That said, perhaps OP's kids need to be taught then generally winding someone up repeatedly about the same is really irritating and might result in a bad reaction.

Also, taking the pee out of accents will not be appropriate in a lot of settings (I.e. the workplace) and they need to learn that too.

I think OP needs to calmly explain to her husband and the kids how annoying it is.

@tillytoodles1 I'm obviously not from there but it's so true. Even I can hear it 😂

YANBU. It's unacceptable for someone to mock anyone else about anything.

A friend made it a habit to mock my husbands accent 🤯 if I mentioned him in conversation she would then imitate his accent in a jokey way. It was bizarre and really immature
she’s a dick though so I don’t speak to her now…found out she was messaging my husband on the sly (makes it even more bizarre).

I think it's disrespectful to you, and can see why it is annoying and upsetting.
I second the suggestion of speaking in another one of your languages, and keeping it up until it becomes irritating to them.
Saying all that, I worked with a fantastic Chilean woman who came to work with us.She didn't speak much English at all, and we had an hilarious few minutes, when she kept repeating Ear-squirt to me.
Turns out she was talking about an earthquake, but it was done kindly so didn't offend.

@Yajay very disturbing... And probably just attention seeking?!

What is your language, OP?

Which one? 😂

People might say lighten up but it is rude. My kids mock me occasionally over my northern accent but it’s occasional and doesn’t upset me, if it was frequently that’s something different. I think you were right to tell them in no uncertain terms that you’ve had enough. And your DH needs to step up and step in when appropriate too

How did they react when you lost your temper?
Maybe it's time to tell them what they are doing is bullying and you won't stand for it.
Give them consequences.
Tell them that clearly they don't give a shit that they are upsetting you so maybe they'll give a shit about losing pocket money.

I don't want to destroy my anonymity to be honest.... I think listing my languages might do so... It's a very unusual mix

@IncompleteSenten I think me asking what would happen if they did it to someone at school or in the office made them think... I did severely limit their online time though... I said I didn't quite understand what they said when they asked to go on PlayStation... Perhaps they mispronounced it... 🙄 Oops! Need to work on their accent!

My daughter and my colleagues have a laugh at my accent, certain words I pronounce they can't understand at all, as I have a Scottish accent and roll my R,s- so burn sounds like button, arm, is also another one, and when you work in health care, I use both words frequently! Difference is you obviously find it upsetting, and your children should be sensitive to that, and not mock it.

Er no. OP has repeatedly made it clear it isn't funny, but they continued, so it becomes bullying. A joke is supposed to be funny for everyone.

My late husband used to work with a woman who learned languages as a hobby.
She spoke French, Spanish and Italian fluently , she also spoke some Turkish and Russian, and her next one was going to be Cantonese or something.

I'm from the uk and have a strong regional accent. There was a time when you would be held back professionally for not speaking 'the Queen's English', but that was decades ago. Even the BBC has become more inclusive.
In your case, I don't think it's to do with language, more to do with lack of respect from your DC with your DH not stepping in to support you

@tillytoodles1 I speak three of the languages you mention 😊

I'm a Glaswegian living in Yorkshire, so I've had plenty scope to comment (and receive comment) on accent.

Largely, it's fun. I enjoy the interaction, and I can generally laugh about the differences.

That said, there's a woman I work with who mimics every single thing I say. It's tiresome, and she often adds on a phrase along the lines of, "Och aye the noo Jimmy" - which is something that no Scot has ever said, in my experience.

@JockTamsonsBairns I have several good Glaswegian friends - worth the look on their faces when I try to attempt this phrase with MY version of Glaswegian accent? 😂 and I can testify that I've never heard them say this sentence before

My mum had a strong accent and I honestly never really noticed it until I left home! I would never have mocked her! My dad has a regional accent and again, took me years to realise! To me it was just the way they spoke!

having said that my DH also has a foreign accent and the kids and I do sometimes put on a mock version but that’s partly because he spends his life correcting our pronounciation of our joint surname other words in his language. It is always done in good humour and never during a serious conversation

if it makes you feel any better, I have a ‘posh’accent and in my first job there were two managers who would constantly mock me ‘oh, did daddy buy you a pony?’. So I don’t think anyone is safe!

It really depends on your family dynamic. I'm a Northener but live in the South and DH and DC are all Southern and often take the piss out of the way I pronounce certain words. We are a bunch of piss takers though, in a lighthearted way so it doesn't bother me.