it's unacceptable to to mock someone's accent

[nottooimpressed]

I've lived in the UK for almost 30 years and I speak 5 languages fluently. Yet, despite having a top degree from a UK uni and having worked in the UK for decades, I still have a very strong foreign accent and I find the pronunciation of some English words challenging, for example "paw", "wood" etc... My kids (UK born and with perfect British accents) mock me frequently and yesterday, when we talked at dinner and I said something about walking in the "woods" I got mocked again and I exploded. It's not the first time I got upset about it but yesterday I really had enough. I found it so offensive that kids would mock their mother about her foreign accent and pronunciation (the same mother who taught them to read and still helps them with their senior school essays...) and that my British husband did nothing about it and let them do it. I often meet Scottish or Irish people who keep their strong accents despite being in London for decades. It seems acceptable. Why is my accent laughable then? What is acceptable and what is not? Am I too sensitive or are they behaving like little twats? What does it say about my husband?

Tell them, come back and mock me when you can speak 5 languages, until then, stfu

I agree they are being twats. How old are they?

However, I do not agree that teasing someone with a regional accent is OK. As a Scot in England I find this deeply tedious and borderline offensive so please when you talk to them don’t tell them that it’s OK to mock people like me.

They should apologise and never mention it again. The wearing thin over years is beyond tiresome.

AndiOliversGlasses - they are 10 and 15, so old enough to understand.

I agree with you, mocking regional accents is also unacceptable, just different. I used to live in Wales and love Wales and Welsh people. I get very angry when I hear people mocking or ridiculing Welsh accent in London where I live now.

Depends we used to make fun of my nan but it was just a laugh not to put her down. She used to laugh.

If its hurting you speak to your kids about it

I used to have a colleague who would say “I’m so sorry, English is my fourth language and I do get it wrong sometimes”. Perfect way of dealing with it.

But in your previous post you said

I also feel that teasing someone who is a native English speaker with an endearing Scottish or Irish accent is very different from teasing a foreigner about their difficulty with pronouncing some words.

yes, it is different because it's teasing about the accent not the ability to prounounce certain words

The basis of the teasing may be slightly different (and of course teasing someone who is not a native speaker may also have a racist or anti-immigration motivation) but what I am saying is that any teasing of someone about the way they speak is unacceptable and should not be tolerated, so no need to split hairs.

also, a lot of people find regional accents very attractive. still not ok to mock it - sorry if my earlier post was confusing xx

Accents seem to be an English obsession, most people of other nationalities that I've met don't really care.

I've gotten plenty of shit for mine and just think to myself how small-minded the person making the comment is.

Is it wrong of me to be intrigued as to how you pronounced it? Apologies if it is.

I find regional variations fascinating. I say paw to rhyme with poor or pour.

Or is the sound generally not something you would say in your native language?

Regardless, I don’t think it’s wrong to explain to your children why it’s hurtful.

YABU I think you’re being a bit sensitive

You 10 and 15 year olds had a joke at your expense. It’s a bit ott to be this caught up about it

Tulipvase - apparently I can't 😂 so not sure what they hear! 😂and yes, I don't think the sound "aw" really exist in my native or second language...

Helfs - I've told them many times I found it upsetting though... I didn't tease my parents knowing it would upset them... Perhaps it's a generation thing? No idea...

Our family all seem to tease each other about the way we talk. DH is from south east London and we tease him about eg having a pall all (pale ale) and he pronounces kale and cow the same. SIL and BIL tease FIL for dropping his aitches, dS used to have a lisp and everyone used to get him to say 6 sizzling sausages, now his voice has broken SIL and BIL tease him about that. DD and are always teased because apparently we are posh!

It really depends. If you're a household where you all love ,support and RESPECT each other , then taking the piss out of each other over various things is quite normal and not a big deal. Do you do it to them over other stuff?

However, if you really dislike it and it bothers you so much, just tell them. If they do it again, you can apply whatever consequences you normally give for disrespect.

Do you normally feel respected and appreciated in your relationship with them and your husband? Or is this a symptom of a bigger issue?

I get how the same lighthearted comments for 30 years can feel extremely tedious.

YANBU
It’s wearing and mean

Must be, as if my mum told me something upset her it’s like a red rag to a bull you’d then get teased 100x more about it

PaperDolls - you've obviously touched some issue here :-)

But the bottom line is - it's all about context. The same jokes in one conversation can be teasing but can be disrespectful in another conversation. Yesterday just wasn't great .

And regardless of what happened yesterday, yes, it's wearing after 30 years... So incredibly boring... And upsetting

Accents and how we perceive people based on them are such an interesting and slightly disturbing topic. I used to work in a very image led obsession. It was quite disturbing and upsetting to see how people with some accents are dismissed as stereotyped. Perhaps it's the frustration of all these years and experiences coming out too...

YADNBU

I understand what you mean that teasing regional accents is a bit different to teasing the foreign accent. The latter can be perceived as "othering" and I do wish English people stopped dismissing it with "oh, you are being too sensitive" as amply demonstrated on this thread alone.

I am a foreigner too and have lived and worked in the UK for other 20 years but my native accent doesn't seem to be going anywhere.

Working in education, if a child teases a Chinese or Arabic classmate's accent it would be treated as racism and the child would be given a stern telling off. So it's not "nothing".

Meant profession not obsession! 😂

Hopefully they will have got the message and will stop anyway. If they do it again just calmly say that you have made it clear you don't like them making fun of your accent and that you would like them to stop. They might not have realised it was hurting your feelings if you didn't say anything about it previously.

It's not ok if it upsets you but what have you said previously when they've passed comments? Does you husband do it too? What's the punishment for the children being rude? At 10 and 15 this is a parenting issue. And they have two of those.

Put your foot down then. No more. Tell them exactly how it makes you feel, even if it's a joke. Do they really want to make their mum feel like that? And if there are other niggles, I guess you'll have your answer. It's ok to have boundaries AND have certain things off limits.

DD (and OH) always takes the piss when my brain goes faster than I can manage and end up saying "shut the light", "turn the window off" , three sounds like tree or the really hilarious one sheet like shit. Changing the bedding is a lot of fun in our house.