to be scared when kids leave full-time education

[spanieleyes22]

So I'm currently eligible for Universal Credit with 2 children over 16 but in full-time education. But when the youngest turns 20 I believe I won't be eligible for it any more. I don't know how I'm going to pay my rent or survive without it. They will still be living with me and will be in university (hopefully). What do people do when this happens.

So much judgement on here. My partner found out at 20 years old that he had a life changing disorder, try getting insurance after that. We have no idea of ops circumstances or background. She may be a widow so not have chosen a loser to father her children as some pp have mentioned. Also, I really don’t see the point in telling op what she should have done years ago or what she did wrong years ago, how does that help? Just because one person has the temerity and ability to increase their earning power, it really doesn’t mean that everyone has. A lot of people worry, struggle to change their circumstances and struggle with mental health. Honestly, this can be such an unsupportive place at times.

I’m 45. I paid rent from the age of 18. I paid £250 a month back in like 1998!!!

It’s a terrifying situation. I have been in a similar situation except that I didn’t get any benefits and just had to work loads until my kids were financially independent.
it has been horribly tight at times and I took on an evening job in a pub because I knew I could get fed on certain shifts so I had more money for food for my kids.
My daytime job is low pay and I’m only now in a position to find a better job in the hope that when I retire I’ll be ok

Lots of options: work more hours, get a better paid job, start a business/something you are good at that can make you monry, get a lodger or get a smaller house/expenses down.

@doppelganger2 the majority of UC claimants are working people.

My mum and me ended up homeless from some similar situation

my mum did every single thing she could. Got 4 jobs. Barely slept. We had a neighbour who was a saving grace who helped us buy food for a few years. We ate out of date tins for god knows how long

id just do as much work as I could. Evening work in super markets. Shelf stacking.

anything really if I had to get food on the table.

Blimey. That’s a bit crass. @TheSnootiestFox just told the OP what she did…..

she didn’t say unless you do what I did you’re all crap!! I inherited a house in fucking awesome. How easy do I have it!!!

You could learn cyber security online. There are thousands of incredible almost free courses. I did one which was £11 a month and that catapulted me in life.

Of course she ships feel upset. But sometimes needs must

She didn’t put her down at all

If they’re away at uni they won’t be living with you? Why is accommodation only 24 weeks? Most just come home for holidays like Christmas and some of the summer.

You're clearly not in the same position! Must be lovely to rip others up as u sit on your inherited throne.

MSE isn't a forum for ranting, unlike Mumsnet. It's for concrete advice.

Which the OP doesn't want. In fact, the first few pages here were full of tips. Now I don't think everyone can take a second job, retrain (@Kissmystarfish if it was that easy everyone would do these free courses and earn squillions!).
But, others shared their experiences of renting, downsizing, etc. Renting a room out, subletting.

The OP hasn't really responded to any of that. A lot of her subsequent posts are instead about how she wants a 3 bed house for her kids and how angry and upset she is at potentially having to give it up. The thread really turned when she talked about rent after retiring/space for potential grandchildren which isn't necessary.

She's not wrong to feel what she feels, but this is the reality. As @mathanxiety stated she has to start preparing. Surely the best feeling is knowing that despite all this she has raised 2 independent young adults?

OP and her friends may have been privileged to have homes to return to, so she feels like a failure for not providing one. She isn't. Plenty of us have managed without homes to return to.

My niece took a whole year lease that way she can keep her job all year round and my sister isn’t tied to keeping a bedroom that is empty half the year they have downsized to something smaller

It is that easy!!

you just need to take the time. It won’t happen overnight.

honestly it took me about 8 months to retrain at home. I do have a friend who works in the industry who was able to help me but there are more forums with people who can explain things

I’m just going through this now and my 16 year old has just got an apprenticeship. Not sure how I’ll manage. She will pay a little bit of board but its obviously not going to be much as not earning much herself either

Cyber security is one of the toughest industries to get into particularly at entry level (unless you have good contacts in the industry)

The silly cyber security courses online are heavily marketed but most just a money making scheme.

I’d steer well clear.

@Gwenhwyfar yes, you should look at other countries. Where I come from people do not get state support or any sort of child benefit. Having children is a decision a person makes for themselves, not the sate, so it should not be state's responsibility to support that decision. And how do people in those countries manage? They adapt to their circumstances. Honestly having a separate bedroom when you can't afford the rent is not a sensible financial decision. You either downsize or ask them to contribute. They are not children when they reach the age of 20 and you should be able to have a conversation with them earlier. It's never too early to start teaching them how to make sensible financial decisions.

@Dandymax1 And did you read the paragraph above the inheritance bit? My plan was sorted well before mum died. I'm not ripping anyone up from any sort of throne and you're just making yourself look stupid for not actually reading what I wrote. Can you focus on the OP as she is the one needing help, and not me?

Please do not listen to the advice to do a cybersecurity cheap online course. This is a subject I know about. You will simply be wasting your money.

Your posts says a lot more about your mentality tbh.

Is there an insurance against smug ?

In case no one else has said it. I'm sorry for your loss. (And I agree with your other points)

You could do what @Phineyj Suggested in the first part of her message.

Interesting that you went straight to what you can't do.

I agree with others, a shift in attitude will help.
Sorry you're in a hard situation but there are solutions suggested, even if to just try at least.