AIBU to ask parents/carers to control toddlers in shops?

[TheOtherMrs]

Just been to do a quick shop with DH. A small child came running around a corner straight in to DHs legs. The child's mother went ballistic, screaming into DHs face about looking where he was going and threatening to hit him - she hadnt even seen what had happened!. Fortunately the child was fine and a shop assistant calmed her down, stating that DH wasn't in the wrong and that perhaps using the child seat in the trolley for the child, rather than bread, was the way forward.

It surely not too much to ask that children be properly looked after in busy shops?

But the food is packaged, and the trollies are often parked outside where birds can poop on them and rodents can run all over them.

A lot of us have done our time in the trenches and we have little patience for people who have no regard for the safety of their own toddlers or small children.

Also, it's the term Karen that's problematic, not the fact that it's applied to women. Saying men can also be Karens doesn't make it less offensive.

@Moglet4 - my FIL values the social interactions he gets when he goes shopping - and I’m sure he is not alone. By saying vulnerable or frail people should not go out to the shops, you will be increasing their isolation and loneliness, and this is a killer for people.

I think it is perfectly reasonable to expect parents and carers to make sure their children don’t run around in supermarkets and treat them as playgrounds. It is hazardous for them and for other people. I don’t expect children to behave perfectly, nor do I expect parents to have them under perfect control all of the time - we are all only human, after all - but everyone has a right to be able to use shops/supermarkets safely.

The solution to having both frail or vulnerable people and parents with kids in supermarkets is a bit of tolerance and understanding on BOTH sides. Those of us without young children need to understand that children won’t behave perfectly all the time so we need to keep an eye out for the odd running toddler, but the parents of young children need to do their best to stop their kids treating the supermarket like a playground. Heaven forbid, but some of them might have to tell their little darling that they can’t ride their scooter or bike in the shops, and that running around everywhere is not a good idea.

Cool. As a 33 year old, (if a 2 yo ran into the backs of my legs and I fell over, would cause me serious injury) I'll just stop going into morrisons in case some knob head can't control their kids

He was in a pushchair a lot. But the other side was I wanted him to walk in the hope he'd nap at a sensible time. If I didn't wear him out he'd stubbornly stay awake until 4pm then sleep until 7pm and then bedtime was screwed.

Plus he was running around like that until he was about 7. Eventually turned out he's autistic, and very, very sensory seeking.

Oh dear, there are some embarrassing responses on this thread. "If I strap my child into the trolley, they'll scream", "he hates the buggy", "she likes to wander around".

FFS just do your shopping and go about your business. If darling child hates shopping and/or being kept safe and out of other people's way - tough! They're kids and have to learn to integrate into normal life. Don't inconvenience other people because of your weird desire to pander to your kid's every whim and be their best mate.

Well, normal life isn’t being strapped into a buggy!

I do sometimes wonder what the ‘strap them into a buggy’ parents do long term. My DS is 3 and hasn’t been in a buggy since last summer and that was only because I was heavily pregnant at the time .

If a child is in the buggy, I'd expect them to be strapped in, for safety reasons, @Springtimesunshinesun - so as long as they aren't being left in the buggy all day/most of the time, I don't see the problem with them being strapped into it in the supermarket.

And it isn't the only option available for parents to stop their children running amok in the shops - they can use the child seat on the trolley, or reins, or hold their child's hand, or insist they hold onto the trolley. They can involve the child in the shopping, whilst making sure they aren't running around bashing into other shoppers or risking hurting themselves on the corners of shelves, trolleys or baskets.

Surely that is a reasonable compromise that allows parents to go shopping with their children and vulnerable people to shop without the risk of being knocked over and potentially badly hurt.

@SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius Re vulnerable people honestly being knocked down by rampaging toddlers though? I know that looks really sarky written down - it isn’t meant to be but it’s a bit like dog threads where dogs are running amok up and down the country and ruining picnics and terrifying small children - these things do get a bit daft where a running two year old suddenly becomes a thing to be feared and avoided at all costs.

And no one is advocating strapping them in for their own safety, it’s to stop them getting out.

My DN aged 2, stopped directly in front of my DM the other day. DM fell forwards and fell ontop of DN. Thankfully they were both OK as DM held her weight off her. If that was me, the kid would have had all 12.5 stone of my full weight on top of them. So it's not just for my safety

What am I missing? Unless you were both going like Usain Bolt and the child stopped suddenly.

DN just stepped in front on a walk. They both fell.

What's hard to understand?

What’s hard to understand is that that’s surely always going to be a possibility, wherever you are. She’s surely out of her pushchair some of the time!

Nothing is hard to understand.

A park, kids expected to be free range. Supermarket? No

So even though a child walks nicely they have to be strapped into a pushchair in case someone falls on them.

Honestly that is a little hard to understand.

Yes, that's exactly what I said. Jesus christ. 🙄Do you make everything so difficult?

Not intentionally. I just am honestly baffled. Children tend to be smaller than adults and they sometimes stop unexpectedly but we don’t have them in pushchairs until they are seven or something in case we fall on them

I can't explain anymore. Nowhere have I said that. You know exactly what op and others mean

I know what the OP means. I haven’t seen many toddlers charging around knocking elderly people off their feet but fair enough.

I understand that your mum was walking with your niece in front of her when your niece stopped suddenly. It’s this idea that without a pushchair an adult would have crushed a child I am baffled by!

I thought similar other day in shop - much older school aged child causing havoc running into shelves and people and throwing odd thing to floor -mother (very well dressed and presented) did little to stop him.

Boy later involved similar age child who mother had baby in buggy - buggy mum immediately put a stop to her boy's poor behavior - seem to embarrass havoc boy mother and she finally as queueing got him under control.

There does seem to be an increasing trend of parent treat local tesco met as playground and not the shop it is.

@K0OLA1D isn't saying that, without a pushchair, an adult would have crushed a child, @Springtimesunshinesun - she's saying that an adult falling on a child could crush them and hurt them - that's it.

Do you really think it is a good idea for children to run/scoot/cycle round in supermarkets/shops? Is it safe for them or for other people around them? Is it really unreasonable to suggest that parents should stop their children from doing this in shops, and that a buggy is just one of the options available to parents who have to take little ones to the shops?

Where we are at cross purposes is that falling on a child could happen anywhere, not just a shop.

Do you really think it is a good idea for children to run/scoot/cycle round in supermarkets/shops

Absolutely not. But I do recognise that children aren’t always compliant, and nor are they always of pushchair age.

I used to work in a large shop, and quite often if a child was misbehaving, the parent would say "here's the lady, she going to tell you off".
No I wasn't, it wasnt part of my job description. Control your kid's yourself!

There's no tarring, don't be so over-sensitive. OP just asked that people control their children - if you control yours then it blatantly doesn't apply to you.

Sure, but then put them in the trolley seat and don't let them run around all over the place being a c*nt.
It's a very simple problem to solve with the basic tools available at the time.