AIBU to ask parents/carers to control toddlers in shops?

[TheOtherMrs]

Just been to do a quick shop with DH. A small child came running around a corner straight in to DHs legs. The child's mother went ballistic, screaming into DHs face about looking where he was going and threatening to hit him - she hadnt even seen what had happened!. Fortunately the child was fine and a shop assistant calmed her down, stating that DH wasn't in the wrong and that perhaps using the child seat in the trolley for the child, rather than bread, was the way forward.

It surely not too much to ask that children be properly looked after in busy shops?

I have severely bad mobility and awfully painful and weak joints. If a child ran into me and I fell I'd probably end up in hospital.

In the days when I could still get out and about I would treat marauding young children to a very hard Paddington Bear stare if they were anywhere close to my vicinity.
This often worked surprisingly well.

Doesn’t sound like it’s OP that needs to hear this but the mother. Whilst I agree accidents happen some accidents can be prevented. A child running around a shop where there is lots of trolleys moving around, staff pulling/pushing great big metal cages around doesn’t sound like the place to let a child run about

Definitely. Most places where I live are pubs/restaurants/cafes and sometimes not always you get young children running around. Generally you don’t, but I’ve seen wait staff in a pub narrowly miss tripping and spilling hot food with gravy, soup over a running child.

It’s one of those:

I always hold my toddler/children’s hands, and this isn’t something that happens to me but

the Uk is so child intolerant and some of these comments are stupid. I never let my children walk on low down walls as I think it’s inconsiderate but I remember the joy of doing it as a child and wonder if social conditioning to respond to Karens means my children are missing out on small pleasures. If a child (not mine) bumped into me in the supermarket I can’t think I would mind at all.

Try telling that to some parents. The worst are those who let their DC ride on scooters around shops. Wtaf?!

I actually had a nasty accident aged 9 where I was riding my bike down a steep slope in the park, another younger child about 5, was roller skating only yards in front of me, I braked suddenly to avoid her and went over the handlebars. There was only one side path I could’ve gone into and I had no time and I already had my front adult tooth so lost that and got a crown fitted. You do wonder where the other child’s parents were but it was an accident.

It's not just toddlers. I've seen primary school aged children racing around supermarkets and shops, who were big enough to cause quite a lot of damage if they collided with someone at the speed they were going.

And a small child walking carefully along a low wall with an adult holding its hand isn't likely to cause injury to anyone else. A child racing around somewhere that isn't a playing field might.

It’s a bit different a child bumping into you in a supermarket and having one race around running. I’m sure you’ve seen signs when bottles etc break and floors are slippery. That’s one reason why adults and children shouldn’t run in a supermarket.

And calling women Karens is a low blow.

Yanbu. I worked for years in a large supermarket and the scale of parental neglect of small children was staggering. I could give many many examples but the one that stuck out for me was one child aged about 3 was running around, and ran towards the store entrance . It was one of those establishments that was built on stilts with travellators and the carpark underneath. I witnessed this child run down the travellator, I realised child was alone and I followed. By the time I got down there the kid was running through the carpark heading for the main road. I retrieved the child and took them back onto the store. When we located the mother she hadn't even noticed the kid was missing!!

That’s true it’s older children.

But adults shouldn’t and don’t run in supermarkets either.

Hou could always get your shopping delivered

*you

My toddler used to grab onto any man's leg. Sometimes headbutting the nads. But it was early 2000s and we both would laugh it off.

I can't physically lift my (young) 3 yo into the trolley. I'm vertically challenged and they are getting too big now.

Agree with pp, the kid might not have been a problem but the mum was for sure.

If the child is known to be wild then yes, they should be in trolley/harness. Otherwise, they are still learning and blips happen.

Yep, she seemed to have a loose connection somewhere!

DH has the patience of a Saint! I think both of us were too shocked to react at the time but we were both shaken by the incident.

That's right, just don't leave your house rather than expecting parents to hold their children's hands or otherwise stop their kids running riot.

OP YANBU.

I can't believe how many parents allow their children to run around supermarkets. I have recently recovered from a trapped nerve and when I was poorly, sudden movements caused a lot of pain. Therefore when I had to move quickly out of the way of children running around, it caused me a lot of pain. It made me think of how it must be for old people who suffer from various aches and pains and have to worry about children running into them.

I stopped reading as soon as you mentioned "Karens".

Children can misbehave, it happens. What is not OK is a parent not being prepared to accept that something unacceptable has happened and seeking to blame others.

Yep. Next time we run out of butter I'll bear that in mind.

This is what pisses me off when visitors let their kids run around the retirement village I live in. Most of the people here are unwell or unsteady enough to use walking sticks or walkers, the paths are very narrow, but there are some family members who seem to think it's a playground.

Ive seen small kids run in public places and DS1 has done a handful of times before I could grab him and put him in trolley/put reins on. I think that’s part and parcel of small children and, whilst annoying, can happen to any parent.

What’s clearly abnormal in this situation is the mother’s reaction. Surely that’s where your anger should be? If DS1 has ran into your DH I’d be mortified and apologise, which I reckon (maybe hope?) 99% of the population would do!

This. It wasn't the child running into DH that was the problem, it was his mother's reaction. The accident could have been avoided if she'd held his hand or used the child seat in the trolley.