Husband scammed. Change house to my name?

[Sunnydaysaregreat]

It's looking very likely my husband has invested tens of thousands of pounds (turns out most of it is his family's as they thought he knew about money) in a scam investment. Spoke to FCA and Fraud Action already, both brilliant and gave help.

Although I'm shocked, I'm being calm with my husband and intend to talk about how we go forward, and pay back his family (I've been advised we're unlikely to get much money back). I'm trying to keep it together but the red flags were so clearly all over these companies, it's actually worried me so much that he is a liability for our financial safety (we have young children).

AIBU to tell him I want to house transferred into just my name? Obviously there's a huge trust issue in that he was doing all of this investing without telling me, but it's husband judgement I'm most concerned about. I'm going to talk to Citizens Advice tomorrow to ask about how this is done.

Advice appreciated as while I am being sensitive to the fact that he has absolutely been scammed, his judgement makes me feel unsettled.

I'm sorry this has happened to you.

Have you noticed any other changes in your husband?

Might you need to remortgage in future, and if so would you be able to do this on your salary alone?

I wouldn't just start with the house I would sit down with him and a financial adviser/solicitor and work everything out. All your assets/money/savings/other investments etc. Have a full financial health check and then take control yes absolutely. Once scammed they usually fall for it again one day so you do need to get in control.

Was it all his fault or just being a bit gullible, or was it a really clever scam that anyone could get fooled by? He may have learned his lesson, trying to take the house off him is a bit OTT unless he has some real problems.

YABU
Im sure you have never made a mistake. Im sure he feels terrible enough.
What do you hope to gain by taking him off the house deeds?!

Clever scam or not, investing tens of thousands without your wife's knowledge is not acceptable. He must have known it was dodgy or why the secrecy?

You'd have to be more than a bit gullible to invest tens of thousands in anything other than a legitimate company. It shows extremely poor judgement. I'd be thinking about divorcing him to protect my children financially. Repaying his family can come out of his half of the family money.

Divorce would be in the cards for me. Nothing more unattractive than a gullible greedy fool! Lock everything down and get the hell away from him.

Honestly I think it is not a bad idea; your husband may be in massive denial and the fact that he lost so much money is an awful sign. I would not trust him. His motivation may have been excellent, but his judgment is not.

Removing him from the deeds means he can't gamble against the house.

Deceiving your wife to the time of tens of thousands is more than a mistake. Getting scammed could be a mistake perhaps although this sounds quite extreme for someone of sound mind

Missmollygreen, I want to basically think about the house being in my name as I'm worried he might be drawn in again and put the house at risk. My main financial concern for our children is not losing the house, not to punish him on a personal level at all.

Thanks SilverBirch. I think it's a mixture of both, being scammed (FCA said it was a bit if a classic example) and also really not being aware of red flags so I am nervous that he is susceptible. I think that fact that he hadn't told me until I found out suggests he might have realised there was something risky/dodgy sbout it.

I definitely don't want to go overboard and dramatically take the house, I was thinking of asking the CAB about this. It certainly isn't an emotion thought against my husband, I don't want to punish him but I grew up with very little and the thought of someone losing tens of thousands of pounds has scared me.

Spot on bombastix - he is really not a bad person and would have had the best intention but terrible judgement.

To be honest, looking at the companies he gave money to, I just can't understand how he didn't see it was a scam. That's what has shocked me more. But I also know how manipulative these people are.

Are you wanting the house because you think he will take a loan against it and invest it with another scheme?

Or do you think family will try and
sue Dh and take the house?

Coldcallerbaiter I hadn't even thought about his family suing. Yikes. Personally I think he has to find a way to pay them back as soon as he can. I will bear that in mind though as money loss and family could be a toxic mix.

What sort of scam was it? Investment/trading? Using those terms loosely of course. Was it definitely a scam or has he just believed he was better at investing than he thought? How awful for you to have discovered he’s lost not only your money but family money as well. If he hasn’t already done so, he still needs to report it to his bank. It’s likely he’s ignored the warnings etc so unlikely he’ll be able to claim any money back but there might be a slim chance he can get some back through the crm code. Worth a shot.

Are you sure the house is safe? Please check he hasn't taken out loans against it already.

Please also check that there are no loans in YOUR name than you don't know about.

Only after doing this would I even consider staying with him.

Oh OP! That is such a betrayal.

Did he give a reason for not mentioning anything to you? Do you generally have open finances?

Do you mean you own the house outright? If you don't, it will be incredibly difficult to take him off the mortgage. Banks are incredibly reluctant to do that.

It will be very hard for your husband to admit that his judgment is poor. That's the reason to do it. No man wants to admit the failure. It leads to more risky behaviour later. Your husband may just love the idea of being cleverer than others. A scammer loves that sort of person.

I'm worried he might be drawn in again and put the house at risk

Given that he didn't tell you about these "investments" I'd be more worried about whether he already has

Before deciding anything I'd want full disclosure - I doubt you have it yet - and fortunately there are plenty of agencies who'll help you with this

why would he give you the house after he’s lost thousands of pounds. Surely he would want to hold onto as many assets as possible

No sadly don't own it outright, wondering if my salary might be enough to possibly just have it in my name.

To be honest, I'm thinking all sorts of things at the moment (I've only known about this for less than 24 hours). Really just a bit worried he'll be duped again, or as others have said, I might not even know all the details.

If you haven't already done so, do a clearscore report (or any other form of credit check) in his name. And yours in case he's gambling/borrowing money in your name. Make it a condition of moving forwards together. And I would see a solicitor for legal advice about your financial position should he do this again.... you need to be 100% confident to be able to move forward with this. He's got a lot of trust to rebuild here and anything less than complete engagement with you should be a glaring red flag.

I highly doubt CAB will care or know. It’s more for assisting the homeless or people claiming benefits.

you need proper financial advice and a lawyer

are we talking he fell for something or he has an addiction to gambling / thrill seeking investments

Which is a very good reason not to put the house in her name only ir she could grab the lot in a divorce. He probably thinks he's lost enough already.

@Sunnydaysaregreat speak to a whole of market mortgage brokers to see if you can afford mortgage on your own. Relatively easy to switch property into sole name if you can take mortgage alone.