Husband scammed. Change house to my name?

[Sunnydaysaregreat]

It's looking very likely my husband has invested tens of thousands of pounds (turns out most of it is his family's as they thought he knew about money) in a scam investment. Spoke to FCA and Fraud Action already, both brilliant and gave help.

Although I'm shocked, I'm being calm with my husband and intend to talk about how we go forward, and pay back his family (I've been advised we're unlikely to get much money back). I'm trying to keep it together but the red flags were so clearly all over these companies, it's actually worried me so much that he is a liability for our financial safety (we have young children).

AIBU to tell him I want to house transferred into just my name? Obviously there's a huge trust issue in that he was doing all of this investing without telling me, but it's husband judgement I'm most concerned about. I'm going to talk to Citizens Advice tomorrow to ask about how this is done.

Advice appreciated as while I am being sensitive to the fact that he has absolutely been scammed, his judgement makes me feel unsettled.

FFS you sound as gullible and naive as the OPs husband! 🤦‍♀️

Yes iced is right. Just because you legally own an asset if married he has a beneficial interest in it.

BTW, I would ask his family what they were thinking lending him huge sums of money when they would have had to ask themselves what happens if it all goes tits up. They have been equally incautious and stupid and do not deserve to get all their money back. Why the fuck should it be you and the kids who get burnt in this and the dumb cunts whose actual fault it all is walk away with no penalty??

Sorry but the more I think about it, the more ragey I am on your behalf.

Was it Bitcoin op?

What does she hope to gain? Probably to prevent this utter, utter fool, who was on the brink of pouring yet more money into an obvious scam, from essentially handing the house over to a bunch of scammers.

I wouldn’t be able to look at him. What a complete moron.

If he’s paying towards the mortgage and has contributed towards your ability to buy your home then YABU. You cannot just remove his home from him. You can however divorce and buy your own home.

I would divorce him and keep finances completely separate from now on. You can still remain a couple of you want to (although why would you?)

You can’t trust him!

I think financial infidelity can as bad as affair infidelity.

I suppose I think the kicker is that he may do it again. There is usually a reason why a man has such control over the money as he will have told everyone he is very competent etc and he is competent.

All I can share is my own experience. My father lost hundreds of thousands over the years. In every other respect he was a respected man, but he drove my mother mad with his financial behaviour and always lost. It was awful to see. I wish she had divorced him as she would have had better mental health.

I'd divorcee him too I'm afraid. If he's been so arrogant and made such poor financial decisions already, he's likely to do it again in the future.

I think it would be the fact that he hid it from me would be the deciding factor. Anyone can get scammed but to take money from family and hide it from your DW, well that's a whole other level.

You are being very calm. Too calm in fact. It's not his pride you need to worry about. He has done something so stupid that not only yours and your DC's financial future is now much poorer but also the financial future of his family.

I would Divorce him and let him pay his family back from his own income.

How did he end up "investing" money other than his own?

Did he convince others?

If they didn't look into it properly & just took his word then I think there's probably quite a case of "caveat emptor" tbh.

I mean unless it's his job-why would they think he's any better with money than anyone else?

I couldn't be with him any more tbh.

I'd be embarrassed to be married to such a reckless fool.

What’s the reason why you don’t already hold the house as Joint Tenants anyway?

Of course you can put the house in your name - but you’ll need to remortgage to do that, and you may lose your rate in doing so (given all the increases in last years, that could be a significant impact).

What are the figures? Theres no CGT on a transfer of equity between spouses, but there can be SDLT. There’s no SDLT if it’s done as part of a divorce though, so as you’re also talking about that you need to decide your full plan first.

I agree. Presumably she wants to take him off the deeds so that he can’t take out further loans using it as collateral?

Yes, it’s still a marital asset should they divorce so will still be taken into account in regards to any financial settlement.

As others have said, I’d be worried that Pride is actually arrogance especially as he didn’t discuss any of this with you before going ahead and investing your joint family money.

OP. Is he a bit of a gambler by nature? If he has addiction tendencies, I’d be seeing a solicitor about divorce asap because addicts tend to have to lose everything and more, before they accept they have a problem. This might only be the tip of the iceberg.

You need to sit down with him and go through all his finances, check your joint finances and make sure there isn't more to this and hidden debt

You can’t keep the house safe from creditors (which his family will be if they successfully sue) just by giving it to your wife. If you could do this, everyone would do it.

I’d suggest seeing a solicitor who can advise on both the risk your assets are at if his family sue (which of course they might well not do) and the steps you can take to avoid this happening again.

I used to think that my husband was a financial wiz. Left the decision making to him. Circumstances have meant thay I now have to do everything and TBH he has made some poor decisions. I would suggest that you get yourself up to speed with your financial situation and insist that you move together in the future.

My exhusband's now 2nd exwife faced the same situation as Op. She started divorce proceedings which ran alongside her court case to try to remove herself from being equally liable for the debt of hundreds of thousands he had run up through bad investments( he had created an email account in her name and sent emails in her name that she had never sent. He had signed things on her behalf and submitted court statements that she had never written. It all showed that she was just as involved as he was). Her legal fees for the divorce,attempts to keep the house and trying to get herself off the CCJ the court had imposed when he was found guilty cost her £60,000 ( she knew nothing about the failed investments, the court case and the guilty verdict. The first she knew was when a court appointment official arrived at her house and served her with legal papers which named her as co respondent and demanded the payment of the debt through the sale of the marital home). Their house was the only asset big enough to pay the debt back which had now doubled due to interest, court costs etc. So even though she wasn't involved in any of it she lost everything. The people who sued insisted on the sale of the house and ,when she finally accepted that she had no choice, they put a charge on it so they were paid before anyone else. If Ops husband's debt were created during the marriage and the family want payment ( and can take Ops husband to court and win) then any asset of the marriage will be taken. You cannot ring fence any of it and not knowing about it is not a defence.

Clever scam or not, investing tens of thousands without your wife's knowledge is not acceptable.

This is exactly right.

Solidarity OP. This happened to me except I was aware that my DH makes investments so he wasn't lying or hiding anything, but one did turn out to be a scam and we lost a huge amount. There was no deceit though, it was just poor judgment, so it didn't impact cause a rift in our marriage.

If your DH is effectively lying and stealing from shared funds then yes you should take sole control of the finances.

I couldn't trust a man who did that. What if you hadn't found out? He's a reckless liar, basically.

Time to find out how deep it goes.

Financial security?

This is one hell of a big 'mistake'!

Not too proud to borrow money from family in some quack get rich scheme.

Why were his family so gullible as to loan him money?

Not too proud to put your and the children's financial future at risk.

Not too proud to share it with his wife that he was risking all your finances. You need to take control of the family finances. And if there is even half a chance he would dare borrow against your home then yes you need to try and get that in your name alone.

Not only is putting money into guaranteed high return investments stupid, it's even worse to borrow to do so. And of course there is no guaranteed high returns anywhere. When he wasn't getting the high returns why did he try and continue to throw away even more money?

Is he a gambler?

Seriously ! This is not a "mistake". He borrowed money in secret to "invest" in dodgy products, wanted to do even more damage until his wife stopped him and kept everything a secret from her. He can't be trusted with money.

I can’t believe how calm you are being?

Tens of thousands of pounds would take us many many years to accumulate, if ever.

It’s just gone.

Are you extremely wealthy?

I would divorce him as it’s a form of gambling. You need to ensure that you can secure a home for yourself and your children.

OP you need to watch carefully for recovery scammers. They may contact your husband (or you) and tell him that they can get the money back but will just scam him out of further money. They are a big risk as those who have lost large sums can be desperate and vulnerable to any supposed opportunity to get the funds back. You need to make sure you can see any transactions he is making and possibly even advise friends not to lend him money or make payments on his behalf.

I would absolutely despise anyone who put my/children's security at risk to basically gamble on a get rich quick scheme through greed, compounded by the fact he didn't tell you about it ( I imagine because he knew you wouldn't agree)

You're trying to get a handle on what's happened but what is he doing to start sorting this out? Do his family know about the lost money yet? I think the chance of him throwing good money after bad to "try to recoup" is very high.