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AIBU?

To hate living alone and wfh

84 replies

BedRot · 27/02/2024 17:06

I’m just venting. I wfh full time and live alone. I left my office job due to bullying during the pandemic and switched to one that is full time remote. I thought it would be fine as I used to have lots of interaction with colleagues and clients. This one has been a real miss sell and I am basically on my own 95% of the time. It’s like being self employed but with less freedom. I know I need to pull myself together and find something new. It’s just hard to find the confidence following the bullying and my motivation is so low when I am by myself all the time. Does anyone else live alone and wfh? Sometimes I feel like I am going mad in my little bubble, it’s like the pandemics never ended.

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PersephonePomegranate23 · 27/02/2024 17:12

That sounds really tough. Is there somewhere else you can work, like a cafe or even a library where you can at least be around other people or is that unsuitable?

Do you get out at lunchtime? I work in a hybrid role and find if I don't get out, I go crazy on my WFH days. Could you schedule lunch or coffee with friends? Do a class a the gym? Or I find even just getting into my local town and being amongst people helps a bit.

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MatildaTheCat · 27/02/2024 17:14

That sounds really difficult. Do you have a trusted friend or colleague who could help mentor you through the process?

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WorkingFromHomeShite · 27/02/2024 17:14

I work from home but live with one other person and my mental health is in the toilet pan. I have about a month before I finish the job.

Do yourself a favour and look for a new job asap.

And temporarily, can you join literally anything that involves in person interaction, whatever the subject matter, eg a country music and orange juice lovers mashup? Who cares if it’s your ‘thing’ or not, do it for your mental health and general sanity.

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CeciliaMars · 27/02/2024 17:16

I would really hate that too! Look for another job. Good luck!

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optionalnamechange · 27/02/2024 17:17

I WFH and am alone all day. I make sure I get out to the gym or for a walk in the evening. I find an evening gym class perks me up nicely, and regular classes with the same people ends up with someone to chat to.
Evenings and weekends are your friend, use them wisely.

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MichaelAndEagle · 27/02/2024 17:53

I live alone part of the week, two kids here 50% of the week.
I wfh 2 days a week and that is hard enough. I go to my local library and various coffee shops.
I make sure any teams calls are back to back and do them at home and then head out.
My office can be quite quiet too, so I sometimes even take myself off to the nearest cafe when I'm there 🙃 😅
I need to be around people.
But yeah look for another job. It doesn't work for everyone and your mental health is important.

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BedRot · 27/02/2024 18:05

Oh wow I’m so glad I started this thread. All this time I have kind of been thinking that I must be the problem. Everyone I know thinks wfh is the holy grail.

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BedRot · 27/02/2024 18:07

I’ve tried working from a coworking space etc. but my work is intensive and requires a full tech setup plus I have to be able to talk to clients in confidence.

I do try to go to the gym but I get so flat that by the time evening comes I don’t want to do anything anymore. It’s a vicious cycle.

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Caravaggiouch · 27/02/2024 18:07

I didn’t get on with wfh full time. I do half and half now and that’s great but fully remote didn’t work for me at all, and I don’t even live alone! Would a shared co-working space or something be an option? I’ve got friends who are self employed who use that sort of thing and have met some lovely people, I don’t see why someone who’s employed couldn’t also benefit. Just while you look for another job that will hopefully suit you better.

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CointreauVersial · 27/02/2024 18:09

You need to Be More Millennial. All the youngsters who work from home seem to manage their work-life balance in a much healthier way, as @optionalnamechange suggests.

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Comedycook · 27/02/2024 18:11

I'm not in your situation but when I did live alone, I found it pretty lonely... would have been much worse if I didn't have an office to go to five days a week and colleagues to chat to. I really feel for you

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Obbydoo · 27/02/2024 18:13

Get a dog! I am self employed, work from home and live alone. I absolutely love it but the dog makes sure I go out for a walk first thing, lunchtime and after work which breaks my day up. Dogs will never bully you (apart from for treats) and talk way more sense than most humans.

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MichaelAndEagle · 27/02/2024 18:14

Its not true that all youngsters manage this.
And OP people do talk about wfh as the Holy grail but that's just because it suits them better.
For some, you need to be around people to feel energised. I know not everyone believes in the introvert extravert stuff, but I definitely feel flat after a day all alone.
I guess one way or another you need to inject some time with people into your day...
Do you know anyone else who WFH who could also base themselves at yours if you need your full set up?

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BedRot · 27/02/2024 18:17

It’s just that the work itself requires intense focus. Also I don’t actually enjoy it much, even though it’s in the same industry that I was in before and loved. If I liked the work and were more efficient at it then I could get it done and go out more, but I don’t.

It sounds obvious now input it down in writing that I need to leave. I have been hesitant because of the way I left my last job I guess. I keep worrying that I am the problem.

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NotFastButFurious · 27/02/2024 18:19

I agree with you, I couldn’t wait to go back in the office when we reopened after Covid! Even going for a walk or to the gym (I go to workout not chat!) isn’t the same.

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PersephonePomegranate23 · 27/02/2024 18:20

CointreauVersial · 27/02/2024 18:09

You need to Be More Millennial. All the youngsters who work from home seem to manage their work-life balance in a much healthier way, as @optionalnamechange suggests.

For some, you need to be around people to feel energised. I know not everyone believes in the introvert extravert stuff, but I definitely feel flat after a day all alone.

I totally get you OP. I was WFH today, didn't get out at lunchtime and was flagging by 5pm.

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MichaelAndEagle · 27/02/2024 18:23

Its difficult looking for a new job. It takes quite a lot of time and energy, which you often don't feel like you have at the end of the working day or week!
Break it down into steps, brush up your CV and linked in profile, sign up to relevant job searches....
Do you want to change careers? Perhaps we can offer advice? Some very wise people here!

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Iheartmysmart · 27/02/2024 18:24

Same situation here. I live alone and permanently work from home. It gets bloody lonely at times.

Now the evenings are getting lighter I try and get out for a walk as soon as I log off. I also try and get to the cinema on a Friday so it feels like a ‘proper’ end to the week.

I lost my little dog at the end of last year and didn’t realise how much of my social life revolved around my dog walking acquaintances. Used to get out with him several times a day and chat to a few people, now I rarely see anyone.

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WorkingFromHomeShite · 27/02/2024 18:26

BedRot · 27/02/2024 18:17

It’s just that the work itself requires intense focus. Also I don’t actually enjoy it much, even though it’s in the same industry that I was in before and loved. If I liked the work and were more efficient at it then I could get it done and go out more, but I don’t.

It sounds obvious now input it down in writing that I need to leave. I have been hesitant because of the way I left my last job I guess. I keep worrying that I am the problem.

Well you left your last job due to bullying. That can happen to anyone in any work setting. Then you’re leaving this job due to working from home not being positive for your mental health. That is the kind of thing you have to try and see the effect on you. You tried, it didn’t work for you. I wouldn’t worry about either of those things looking bad on you.

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DSD9472 · 27/02/2024 18:26

Do you know any colleagues at all? Do you ever use teams or other chat things to discuss the work or things outside of work? I WFH but DH is out some days. My colleagues are also part time- so I have days where there isn't anyone within work to discuss things with at all.
I try to go for a walk before work or at lunch time. Get some sun, weed the garden, start dinner etc and stretch/stand every hour.
If its not the right job, then start looking elsewhere.

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Zanatdy · 27/02/2024 18:28

I find it hard working at home all the time. Some weeks I won’t go to the office if I’ve got a lot of private meetings as meeting room availability is low on busy mid week days and I have a lot of meetings. Since I joined a walking group that meets 3 a week I find it much easier to work from home than prior to joining this. I still prefer a mix of home and office though. Currently aim to do 60:40 home / office but that switches round in May and more at office. I can’t imagine how tough I’d find wfh without all my teams video calls as that helps hugely

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BedRot · 27/02/2024 18:30

WorkingFromHomeShite · 27/02/2024 18:26

Well you left your last job due to bullying. That can happen to anyone in any work setting. Then you’re leaving this job due to working from home not being positive for your mental health. That is the kind of thing you have to try and see the effect on you. You tried, it didn’t work for you. I wouldn’t worry about either of those things looking bad on you.

Thank you. I have totally blamed myself for it all.

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BedRot · 27/02/2024 18:31

DSD9472 · 27/02/2024 18:26

Do you know any colleagues at all? Do you ever use teams or other chat things to discuss the work or things outside of work? I WFH but DH is out some days. My colleagues are also part time- so I have days where there isn't anyone within work to discuss things with at all.
I try to go for a walk before work or at lunch time. Get some sun, weed the garden, start dinner etc and stretch/stand every hour.
If its not the right job, then start looking elsewhere.

I know them but we all do the same intense solo work that actually precludes interaction.

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Tatonka · 27/02/2024 18:49

I don't blame you, WFH is hard in a new job as you never properly establish relationships. I'd look for a job that's at least in the office a fee days.

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Atethehalloweenchocs · 27/02/2024 19:06

I wfh and live alone and love it. BUT - I get out every day with my dogs, and meet lots of people for quick chats doing that. And I do a lot of social things - at least a few nights a week. I have been sick recently and have had to drop the social things while I recover - and am finding that it has negatively affected my mood. But when I am well, I love the balance - because I am not spending time and energy on commuting, I have the energy to do things in the evenings which I often did not when I worked in an office. Having said that, I never expected to like wfh and can see it is not for everyone.

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