To hate living alone and wfh

[BedRot]

I’m just venting. I wfh full time and live alone. I left my office job due to bullying during the pandemic and switched to one that is full time remote. I thought it would be fine as I used to have lots of interaction with colleagues and clients. This one has been a real miss sell and I am basically on my own 95% of the time. It’s like being self employed but with less freedom. I know I need to pull myself together and find something new. It’s just hard to find the confidence following the bullying and my motivation is so low when I am by myself all the time. Does anyone else live alone and wfh? Sometimes I feel like I am going mad in my little bubble, it’s like the pandemics never ended.

can you afford to rent a hot desk space?
I have one ten days a month, it's great - close to home, but you get out, see a variety of people - I really enjoy it - the rest of the time I'm in the office.
hated wfh, only did it for a few weeks
On changing jobs, totally ruled out anything that was fully WFH

sorry - just re read and saw you'd tried coworking - I have a locker for screens etc.
I have a fair amount of calls - teams and headphones or use a meeting room, but probably doesn't work if private calls makes up the bulk of your work.

Yeah, they do unfortunately. I often have to hold five-hour long meetings with individuals. So I would basically be paying to be shut in a room in a coworking space instead of my office. I’ve also tried going to one on days where my diary is more open and I just don’t find it very interactive. In my area people go there to work and don’t really want to chat / interact.

I’ve now made the decision to find a new job though. I might try to get to a coworking space more in the meantime as I haven’t been in an office for four years now and the idea is quite daunting!

I am also in this position. Luckily my work don't care what hours I do as long as the work gets done so i quite often don't work in the afternoons and go for a walk or to the cinema or gym just to get out. Then I work in the evening which somehow feels less lonely.

I work from home most of the time, I'm self-employed, and live alone, it's miserable if I don't go out and do other things. There have been a couple of threads on here recently as well of people saying they hate working from home, you're definitely not allone! I do the things that people have suggested that won't necessarily work for you, café, co-working space once a week (I also find that people don't necessarily chat, unless I start the conversations and then they're happy to!), going to the gym. Glad you're thinking of getting out of it, I read an article recently that managers are more likely to want face-to-face working than other employees, so the fact that you want to get out and about might put you ahead in many companies for job opportunities.

Incidentally I was recently part of an interview panel, and every one of the candidates said their preference was to work in the office with a max of 1 or 2 days at home.
I really don't think wfh is universally adored.

I live alone (three dogs) and WFH. Maybe go into the office (London) one day a week...max. Often I can go a month+ without going in.

I love it.

I get out three times a day to dog walk (6am, 1pm and 5pm), see friends on the weekend so I don't spend all day inside.

I can see why wfh is seen as gold by older people or those with children but for younger adults who are single and child free it sounds hideous. Working and socialising after work with colleagues was a huge part of my life when I was in my twenties...and for my colleagues too. Wfh sounds like a real trigger for mh problems imo. It's a very unnatural way to live particularly when you're young. I really don't think a trip to the gym or a dog walk is any substitute

I've seen mixed research about who likes working from home, I've definitely seen some that says older workers prefer getting out at least some of the week, and that would be my own experience and that of older friends, it's mainly people with childcare responsibilities - and also probably predominantly women - who like working from home to be able to work around childcare. I agree that it's particularly important for younger people, although perhaps if I hadn't spent so many nights in the pub with work colleagues in my 20s, my life might not have been quite so chaotic!

Just because one has children it doesn’t mean you stop being a normal human who needs normal adult human contact, you know!

Having children also limits my ability to socialize in evenings to compensate for being alone all day.

It sucks!

I agree @Boringlaptopday - "like" was probably the wrong word; what I was trying to get across was that it was probably largely a functional thing for many in terms of making many commitments, which women in particularly have, work. Again, there is mixed research about whether this means that women end up not being offered opportunities and promotion because they're not as visible, or if, in fact, this helps women to do jobs that they wouldn't be able to do otherwise. Motherhood is clearly an issue, but so is caring for elderly parents. I'm self-employed and past the child rearing days, but I don't think I would be able to have a "proper job" because of the needs of my DM that I've ended up having to meet as best I can. This isn't really my choice!

Op very basically humans are social animals.
It would be considered cruel to keep a lone horse, sheep, cow. Or keep a dog in a kennel without much interaction.

There is a reason solitary confinement is used in prisons. You have effectively found yourself in a cruel situation.

Try and get out in your evenings and weekends.

I'm sure parents also do miss the social side, but many, particularly mothers prefer wfh for purely logistical reasons.

Sort of retired now but HATED WFH - I had no dedicated work space and I couldn't get away from work, plus my management was less than supportive, to put it mildly (and used the fact that I couldn't manage WFH against me, as well). When I was allowed back in the office in August 2020 the difference in my outlook and output was noticeable.

I'm looking for temp work and have told the agency no hybrid, office or nothing.

This is true, but for me wfh to do school pick up was ok, because twice a day I walked to school and spent half an hour chatting to other mums. So there is that social interaction you often get as a parent that you don’t get if you live alone

I lived on my own and WFH for 3 years until Christmas and loved it!!

But I do have horses so was at the stables before and after work everyday. I'm also massively sociable so always meeting friends after stables etc so having little interaction in the work day didn't bother me at all.

I read posts like this and wonder - how does that help Op?

I live alone and wfh and I love it. BUT I previously did and hated it. For me what changed was getting a dog- not from the company POV, but because it makes me get up get dressed, go out for a walk where I see people and have a quick chat, and again a lunch and again in the evening. My dog forces structure into my day- as well as giving me opportunities to speak with other people. I see on man every morning walking through the woods on his own but again he wfh but he keeps himself in this structure.

it is fine to want to work from the office or be surrounded by people. Most people who work successfully from home do so replicating a structured environment. If your wfh job doesn’t allow you to do this then it is going to be draining and difficult.

Exactly. I have posted about hating wfh before and got a lot of similar comments. I think people say things to make themselves feel like they are better than others.

This may sound a bit silly but I remember during the pandemic a friend of mine was wfh and he had to get up in the morning, get ready for work and then go for a 20 minute walk down the road and then to "work" (back home). It was just a mindset for him. He even sometimes came in a different door 😂
You also need to push yourself out in the evening even when you don't feel like it. A face to face human interaction is what you need whether that is your server at the coffee shop, a club or volunteer job.
Wfh sounds ideal but you actually have to rake care of yourself even more especially if you live alone.

It helps because it highlights wfh only works if you can make sure you get out of the house and interact with other people. Animals are fascinating because typically their owners take better care of them than they do themselves. So I know going out for a walk will make me feel better, but I won’t do it for me, but my dog needs to go out so of course we’ll go and I get the knock on benefit. No one is saying get a horse- but that the structure this kind of hobby forces you to have is really beneficial.
so join a gym or a language class or whatever, but treat it with the same level of dedication. Make yourself go, or log off at 6pm without fail. It helps massively

WFH during Covid was hell.

My job went hybrid after that & it made a huge difference after that when it was possible to get out.

I did similar to @paintingvenice with the local coffee shop once it reopened. I decided that I was only going to have coffee in the mornings if I ran through the park & bought one, so I got exercise & also a chat.

Because if you remove the feelings of isolation by doing something that makes you happy wfh isn't the issue. The OP could go into a workplace that is toxic, her issue wouldn't be solved. But forcing herself to do something she would enjoy would work. Covid and wfh has shown that making work your life, isn't good. Any of us can become disabled etc and there has to be something in our lives beside paid work to recover from what life throws at us.

I was a SAHM until recently. I started a new job and it’s fully WFH. I bloody hate it, I feel more bored and lonely than when I was not working. I feel chained to this bloody house. Because I’m new, no one is ever around to help. I wanted to get back to work to meet friends and feel fulfilled. Now I feel useless and find myself preferring house work over the actually work.

@Moveoverdarlin sorry to hear it. I really recognise your feelings.is rather do housework to vs being chained to a desk. Maybe you also need to start a job hunt