To hate living alone and wfh

[BedRot]

I’m just venting. I wfh full time and live alone. I left my office job due to bullying during the pandemic and switched to one that is full time remote. I thought it would be fine as I used to have lots of interaction with colleagues and clients. This one has been a real miss sell and I am basically on my own 95% of the time. It’s like being self employed but with less freedom. I know I need to pull myself together and find something new. It’s just hard to find the confidence following the bullying and my motivation is so low when I am by myself all the time. Does anyone else live alone and wfh? Sometimes I feel like I am going mad in my little bubble, it’s like the pandemics never ended.

I started going to a class based gym in the evenings. I lift weights, connect with people, and I’ve even made a number of really good friends.

That's really helped me not feel so lonely.

Personally in this situation if you have no partner or kids, I would get a job that is full time office. You have to be a real introvert to enjoy 24 hrs a day own company.

Isympathise OP. During lockdown I was working from.home and I live alone. I usually love my own compony, but it was too much. It made me realise I could not work from home. Hope u find something more suitable

Looks like you'll be getting a new job soon then 👍

I’m in a similar position OP, it’s rubbish. The office is open but nobody goes in. I rarely get a chance to speak to colleagues during the working day.

I was signed off for 2 months last year with anxiety/depression and theres more to it but the loneliness definitely contributed. I was in such a bad bad place. I ended up moving from a great city after only a year to be closer to family/friends. I am looking for a new job but it’s taken more than a year so far to find the right one. Just trying to find hobbies etc to do in the evenings and might get a wee dog.

Sorry I don’t have any suggestions but I really feel your pain.

To be honest I think WFH suits parents with small kids best…I love it as it means I don’t have to do a commute and can be around for nursery picks ups etc. I actually value the quiet time when I’m at work! But DH took the kids away for a week and after about 3 days I was feeling so weird and lonely…and I’m an introvert…def get an office job, or maybe work from the library?

My husband is 100% wfh and he manages it by going for a walk at lunch every day and volunteering as a cubs leader, so he speaks to people other than me. It is really hard - I don’t think humans were designed to live like this. Like being a medieval hermit

Hey OP, have you had any therapy to help you process the bullying at all? It sounds like you have some shame about it whereas the shame should be on the bullying arseholes. Some support might help you feel more solid and positive. And make searching for a new job a bit easier?

I work from home and find it lonely so couldn't do it if I lived alone and I'd be looking for a new office or hybrid role asap. If you do stay fully remote, you definitely need to force yourself out to something social - gym on your own does help with social interaction so maybe a class or running/cycling/walking club. I also walk a neighbours dog once a week which I love (he gets a bonus walk and I don't have dog ownership commitment ) & last thing I've started recently that I love is volunteering at a local village over 60's coffee morning once a week. My work is flexible so I start early that day and get in a few hours work, clock off 9-12 whilst I go and serve tea & eat cake and have a good natter with lots of lovely old ladies. It's a real tonic and highlight of my week now

I live alone and absolutely hate working from home. I work full time from the office by choice. You're definitely not alone! I go to evening classes 3-4 times a week but that's still not enough. When I couldn't go to the office I went walking 2 or 3 times a day, before/after work and at lunch and I was still going crazy - doing everything within a mile of my flat made me feel so isolated and small.

I'm looking for a new job and it's so hard to find one that's not hybrid or remote in the kind of field I'm in. Probably time for a complete career change!

Don't be afraid to change things if they aren't working for you.

I was single and WFH full time. Definitely affected my happiness and MH. I’m now in new job, in the office 5 days a week , although I can WFH if I want, but rarely do. I absolutely love it. Best thing I did feel I have my mojo back.

I am going mad too. I hate it. It’s destroyed my mental health.

I have kids and still hate it!

I'm in exactly the same position OP. It's awful but the plus side is that commuting is also awful, expensive, time consuming and generally crap - and i don't have to do it anymore. But i do need to get a grip and make it more bearable.
I find making something nice for lunch and a 20 minute walk helps.

Look for a new job op, I’m in the same boat, DH works away a lot and my friends are spread out/not free in the week etc. I got a hybrid role and even with it being hybrid my mental health is awful, it’s totally slid into the toilet. I have zero confidence anymore.

I love the job but it’s too isolating. Good luck to you, stick your fingers into your ears to the work from home zealots, it simply does not work for everyone.

There needs to be an Air BnB for desk spaces. Set up a desk in another room, provide Internet, tea and coffee, and charge a set fee. Someone around, can chat over a cuppa but each sit and do your own work.

I feel for you and I couldn't do it.

Try and make it more bearable.
Maybe there are others near you that would love to meet for a quick walk at lunchtime.

I live alone, WFH 4 days a week & love it, but on each WFH day I either go to the gym before work or socialise after. Or possibly both.

Having cats definitely helps.

I also wfh mostly. and my husband works long hours sometimes away a couple of days so its just me and the dogs. a few things that help me is I have a structure get up sane time every morning dress get out for a 10 mon walk before I start. no matter what the weather. this feels then I have actual left the house. getting g dressed is also important as it's giving the message to your brain to ve productive. no pyjamas dressing gowns etc. if you can set your desk by the window so natural light. set a structure that you are getting your breaks. go for a walk at lunchtime. awlyas go unless it's hurrucain weather. listen to podcasts music radio in low volume. Once finished do your very best to get a 10 mon walk trt not to sit on sofa till after dinner. or else if like me you never ger off it as people suggested Join gyms groups etc. if yoi dint like wfh defo get a new job

I work fully from home (single with 1 child) but I do live on a close knit estate & have a dog, I’m also out twice a day for school drop/pick then errands quite a lot after school. The day times of never seeing anyone are tough (& I’m super self sufficient & LOVE time alone).

I am constantly looking for jobs that are out of the house. I just hold on to that it’s temporary.

My friend is single, loves fully alone & wfh & she likes it! She admits to not liking people though!

It’s not you, it’s normal to need connection and to want variety in life, work offers that. I have kids and a husband and dog but still love getting into the office. I work with some really nice people and it’s also nice to wear nicer clothes and just be out in the world.

I live alone and wouldn’t cope with fully remote. I’m hybrid- I have to do two days at home as the office isn’t open at time we need to start or end shift. The three days in work is what keeps me sane.

I know it’s hard but start looking at other roles.

@TheSlantedOwl I had counselling at the time, yes. It was very helpful but we talked a lot about looking forward to getting stuck into a positive new opportunity and that part hasn’t worked out well so I think I have ended up in a bit of a negative spiral. And there’s nothing to distract me from it. I really miss my old job (minus the bullies of course). I know it is on me to move on and being stuck at home doesn’t help.

This thread has made things so much clearer. I have just booked a week of at the end of the month and will use it to start a job search.

Well done OP, great idea. Your feelings are completely natural and it’s a good plan to start looking soon.