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AIBU?

People that talk like this

124 replies

HelloHappyCampers · 27/02/2024 09:40

AIBU there is a lady in our office and she speaks so so quietly almost like a breathy whisper if that makes sense.

We've had complaints when on teams calls and when she's on the phone with customers that people can't hear her And she wont speak up.

We've worked with her confidence to speak up but she says she is (and does seem) very confident and this is just how she speaks and she won't be changing.

It's unfortunately got to the point where we've had to start the process of managing her out of the business because a huge part of the role is speaking with customers and she definitely wasn't as quiet as this when she interviewed and first started.

I feel terrible about it but AIBU?

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foodglorious · 27/02/2024 09:48

If she cannot do her contracted role for whatever reason then yes you can "manage her out of the business" If she has been there longer than (im sure) 3 years its a much lengthier process.

less that 3 years it can be pretty swift.

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Herdinggoats · 27/02/2024 09:48

You can’t “manage someone out”. You either put them on a performance improvement plan or sack them. Obviously you haven’t got the grounds to sack her. Managing out is just posh speak for bullying out of the business!!!

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foodglorious · 27/02/2024 09:53

Herdinggoats · 27/02/2024 09:48

You can’t “manage someone out”. You either put them on a performance improvement plan or sack them. Obviously you haven’t got the grounds to sack her. Managing out is just posh speak for bullying out of the business!!!

Its not posh speaking.....

AIBU there is a lady in our office and she speaks so so quietly almost like a breathy whisper if that makes sense.

We've had complaints when on teams calls and when she's on the phone with customers that people can't hear her And she wont speak up.

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FusionChefGeoff · 27/02/2024 09:59

Performance management plan including eg voice coaching sessions, looking into tech / alternative ways to communicate then I think you've surely done everything you can to help her fulfil her role??

Not HR btw so make sure you get advice and follow your own internal policies!

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splatmouse · 27/02/2024 09:59

Manage her out of the business? As in, not fire her but coerce her into leaving? Enjoy the upcoming 'constructive dismissal' case!

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HelloHappyCampers · 27/02/2024 10:00

Herdinggoats · 27/02/2024 09:48

You can’t “manage someone out”. You either put them on a performance improvement plan or sack them. Obviously you haven’t got the grounds to sack her. Managing out is just posh speak for bullying out of the business!!!

No definitely not bullying we've gone down so many avenues to try and support her but she won't have it. She is on a PIP which is a positively worded one but she just won't comply. She's been here for 4 years believe it or not but only in the last year or so has got really quiet. We've been through occupational health and everything.

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takealettermsjones · 27/02/2024 10:02

"Managing out" is a common phrase that just means starting the disciplinary process that could end in dismissal. It's a catch all since disciplinary processes are all different. It's not bullying or coercing into leaving!

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TallulahBetty · 27/02/2024 10:03

FFS you lot. Managing out = disciplinary process, PIPs, etc.

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Haydenn · 27/02/2024 10:05

foodglorious · 27/02/2024 09:53

Its not posh speaking.....

AIBU there is a lady in our office and she speaks so so quietly almost like a breathy whisper if that makes sense.

We've had complaints when on teams calls and when she's on the phone with customers that people can't hear her And she wont speak up.

They don’t mean that the lady who is talking is speaking Poshly. They mean that the phrase “managing out” is a euphemism for bullying someone out of the business. You need to put someone into a formal process like a PIP or a disciplinary. You can’t just decide that someone doesn’t quite fit so you are going to pressure them into leaving

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KimberleyClark · 27/02/2024 10:06

YANBU. I’ve worked with someone like this. She was my line manager. Sometimes I wonder if it’s passive aggressive. She could speak perfectly normally on the phone though.

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JustFrustrated · 27/02/2024 10:09

I think this is a control thing


It's been touted about loads on linkedin and management courses over the past 18 months, if you speak quietly people have to listen harder meaning you get their attention.

Think it's bullshit personally

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OSAP · 27/02/2024 10:10

Are you employing Shirley Henderson?

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Mrsjayy · 27/02/2024 10:10

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

iPreferBooks · 27/02/2024 10:10

Could she be neurodivergent? Has this ever been suggested? I know I'm quiet too and all my life and I'm sometimes told to speak up too.

Many (extroverted) people don't understand how paralysing it can be to speak when there are already so many loud characters in the room.

I hope she finds a better job because her current colleagues sound toxic.

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Obeast · 27/02/2024 10:15

This reply has been deleted

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Who is disabled? Confused

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PeggySooo · 27/02/2024 10:17

Have you considered she might have a health condition that makes her that way? Often a voice like that is related to a respiratory or hearing issue, especially when she never used to be that way. She won't be doing it on purpose, all day every day will she 🙄

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HelloHappyCampers · 27/02/2024 10:25

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This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

😂 disabled???

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HelloHappyCampers · 27/02/2024 10:28

iPreferBooks · 27/02/2024 10:10

Could she be neurodivergent? Has this ever been suggested? I know I'm quiet too and all my life and I'm sometimes told to speak up too.

Many (extroverted) people don't understand how paralysing it can be to speak when there are already so many loud characters in the room.

I hope she finds a better job because her current colleagues sound toxic.

No shes been through occ health, no issues found. Their conclusion is she is choosing to speak this way and she can't/won't change it.

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Maddy70 · 27/02/2024 10:30

Jesus all these people thinking she should be bullied out because she has a soft voice. She can use just amplify the volume on her handset

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MadamVastra · 27/02/2024 10:33

I'm sure all you people would bend over backwards to assist someone who won't engage with help offered as well

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MissyB1 · 27/02/2024 10:35

What did the occupational health assessment consist of though? Has she seen an actual ENT dr? She might well have a physical condition that hasn’t been diagnosed. Possible polyps in her throat or something similar.

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Arbor · 27/02/2024 10:37

@HelloHappyCampers

😂 disabled???

I have a soft voice. My voice difficulties are due to a neurological problem. I have ongoing speech pathology, but even my swallowing and drinking is affected by it. Did it really not occur to you that your colleague could have a problem like this?

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Arbor · 27/02/2024 10:38

@HelloHappyCampers

No shes been through occ health, no issues found. Their conclusion is she is choosing to speak this way and she can't/won't change it.

And how could you possibly know this?

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Changingplace · 27/02/2024 10:42

I feel your pain, my dad does similar and it’s infuriating- he starts off talking at a normal volume and then kind of descends into an inaudible mumble, I constantly have to say dad speak up I can’t hear you!

If it’s was me and people were consistently asking me to do a simple thing like speak up I would, he drives me up the wall!

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HelloHappyCampers · 27/02/2024 10:47

Arbor · 27/02/2024 10:38

@HelloHappyCampers

No shes been through occ health, no issues found. Their conclusion is she is choosing to speak this way and she can't/won't change it.

And how could you possibly know this?

Because she told me and agreed to occ health sharing the findings.

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