People that talk like this

[HelloHappyCampers]

AIBU there is a lady in our office and she speaks so so quietly almost like a breathy whisper if that makes sense.

We've had complaints when on teams calls and when she's on the phone with customers that people can't hear her And she wont speak up.

We've worked with her confidence to speak up but she says she is (and does seem) very confident and this is just how she speaks and she won't be changing.

It's unfortunately got to the point where we've had to start the process of managing her out of the business because a huge part of the role is speaking with customers and she definitely wasn't as quiet as this when she interviewed and first started.

I feel terrible about it but AIBU?

Has she acknowledged she speaks differently now than she did when she first joined you?
Does she have any explanation for why she has changed?
Does she acknowledge that her job requires her to speak to customers and that they can't hear her thus making her unfit for the role?

Are you Kirsty Young? Watch this from 7.30

If you’d read all the OPs updates you’d see that, yes, she has acknowledged that she speaks differently, but no, she won’t change. Meaning she is fully aware of the issue but has basically told everyone to suck it up because this is how she talks now.
All the talk of mutism, neurologists and her it being aware is r nonsense based on what OP has said about it. This woman has clearly decided to speak this way but doesn’t wish to share her reasoning, but if it means she can’t do her job then dismissal is the only way forward for the business.

Sounds like the company has tried to help her but it's not improved the situation. As she's now on a performance plan and not taking active steps to improve she will lose her job. Seems odd to persist in doing it if she's getting customer complaints too, if customers can't hear her she must know it's not the company being unreasonable. Does she like her job? Even though she keeps getting complaints?

Who on earth a) remembers to consciously decide to talk in a particular way all the time and b) is willing to keep deciding to do it when their job is at threat over it? I strongly doubt she is doing anything on purpose.

Who on earth a) remembers to consciously decide to talk in a particular way all the time and b) is willing to keep deciding to do it when their job is at threat over it? I strongly doubt she is doing anything on purpose.

My cousin. She didn't make her voice quieter but she changed the way she spoke and altered her accent overnight. She's always been highly affected in all her mannerisms, it's cringeworthy. She stuck with it so long she now just talks like this. Occasionally I hear her slip.

Really surprised by so many of the responses to this thread.

OP - YANBU.

As another hearing aid user, this would be a real problem for me.

Colleagues and customers can’t hear this woman. The company is getting complaints.

The company has given her ample opportunities to address the problem, but she won’t.

Sje is required to be heard in her role.

She is no longer a good fit.

How does this make the company toxic?

And all the colleagues and customers who can’t hear her?

I’m not saying this is a great role for her. I just find it bizarre that asking her to talk in a fake voice is what everyone seems to think is the solution, instead of changing more easily controllable things like giving her a quieter workspace/more sensitive microphone or people on the phone turning their volume up…

She’s being asked to talk in the voice she interviewed with.

Most managers don’t get their own space in offices these days……! There isn’t the space. And as someone who’s hard of hearing - oh, if only turning up a microphone or volume worked. There’s be no need for hearing aids!

No, it’s not a great role for her. Clearly.

Thats really interesting. Do you mind me asking your symptoms? I think i might have this. I get a raspy voice suddenly, struggle to swallow (feels like there's a lump in my throat so i physically cant swallow) and struggle to drink (painfull).

I lost my volume control when I started losing my hearing - I'd be vaguely aware that it felt a bit too strong or harsh sometimes, particularly where there was a lot of background noise and I overcompensated by going by how my voice felt to me, which resulted in my speaking more quietly, but I couldn't be entirely sure whether it was too quiet unless I had to repeat myself.

I didn't realise this at first, but when DP said I was speaking too quietly at home despite it being quiet, it gradually began to dawn on me that I might have some problems gauging the correct volume because of something inside me. A nice, quiet room with an OT bod to chat to would be perfect for hearing them and would do absolutely nothing to suggest that I had any hearing difficulties. And, as anybody with sense knows, OT are not audiologists and don't diagnose anything.

The 'cure' hasn't been for me to be fired by some muppet who thinks that OT are able to confirm there is nothing wrong with me.

I moved to a tiny, quiet office of my own where I don't need to bellow to hear myself over background noise from a shared space, don't need to try to gauge whether the sensations of speaking are consistent with being too loud or too quiet and people can hear me because they aren't also trying to filter out the sort of background noise some call centres have all the time.

And there's this thing called email. It's very useful.

@edwardcullensotherwoman I assume you are referring to my post as nonsense since I mentioned selective mutism.

Unfortunately there is still a lot of misunderstanding regarding mutism, people don't choose not to speak, talk quietly or whisper, they physically cannot. Although I have no experience in sudden onset selective mutism, I am aware it is very real. It is not nonsense to suggest this is what her colleague is going through.

My selective mute child is unable to tell me why he sometimes whispers or unable to talk in certain situations. I was merely suggesting this could be present with the OP colleague and I have acknowledged this needs addressing if it's affecting work but to suggest they are deliberately doing this maybe incorrect if that is what they are going through.

It's not a euphemism for anything...
This person's job is at stake because she's not doing it properly, not because her face doesn't fit.

Apologies, I didn't mean I think selective mutism is nonsense, I know it is very real and absolutely not down to a choice not to speak/speak quietly. I've known several children who have experienced it and seen how frustrating it can be, I'm sorry if I came across as dismissive.
I meant that in this specific situation a lot of posters are suggesting various medical conditions etc when it seems clear from the OP that all those avenues have been explored and the woman herself has even said that this is how she speaks and refuses to change it.

OH, not OT. Two different things.

Presumably for you to understand in hindsight that this happened to you when you started losing your hearing, you had it checked at some point after your husband mentioned it? You didn’t just say “tough tits, this is my voice now” to your colleagues or manager, but instead cooperated with them to find a workable solution? Everything that this person isn’t doing, in other words?

Employers have a duty of care but employees have responsibilities towards their own wellbeing too. There may or may not be a hearing issue going on here, but if there is yet OP’s colleague won’t take steps to investigate it and provide her employer with a diagnosis, they can’t support her in managing it or make reasonable adjustments for her. They can only proceed on the evidence they have which is that there is no medical issue and this is therefore a behavioural choice.

@StoneTheCrone

Thats really interesting. Do you mind me asking your symptoms? I think i might have this. I get a raspy voice suddenly, struggle to swallow (feels like there's a lump in my throat so i physically cant swallow) and struggle to drink (painfull).

My voice is soft all the time - although it does become fainter if I'm tired. I choke with liquids primarily if I'm not paying enough attention to what I'm doing. I can't eat tough, chewy foods (eg. steak, hard vegetables, crackers, nuts). I don't have any pain.

Can she transfer to another job within the company where she doesn't have to speak on the phone?

Managing someone out just means sticking them on a performance plan everyone knows won’t work.

Anyway YANBU OP, if no one can hear the woman she can’t do customer service calls

What if anything is her explanation for why things have changed and why she can't go back to how she was before?

All the possible reasons why her voice might have changed don’t really matter. She is unable to do her job, the company has supported her, the next steps are reviews and then dismissal.

If she has any of the selective mutism, neurological disorder, voice problems, Parkinson’s, hearing loss…then she needs to seek medical attention and find out the reason, she can then use that as evidence for needing reasonable adjustment. But the onus is very much on her here.

The company can’t do anything more than send her to occupational health. They can’t force her to see a different doctor.

Have you really tried a more sensitive microphone? There are mics out there designed to pick up very quiet sounds.

If she’s unable to do her job and refuses to engage with any help, what more can you do? I’d manage her out too.

Yes, I see now. I was thinking about booking an OT at the time of posting, but as I'm still on that audiology waiting list, nothing happens until I get the official 'yep, she's going deaf'.

So it is tough tits for anybody who has a go at me about my voice. And I only got to move because somebody left (who didn't believe I couldn't hear perfectly well - didn't appreciate my declining to volunteer to cover switchboard or reception either) and wasn't blocking it anymore.

Could she want to lose her job? Might that be her end goal? I could be wrong but I think you have to lose your job to go onto benefits, for example. Or maybe she has problems at home and wouldn't be 'allowed' to leave her job.

Either way it doesn't help you or the business. Whether health, mental health or circumstance it's quite a sad situation. Sounds like you're handling it with empathy - that's all you can do.