People that talk like this

[HelloHappyCampers]

AIBU there is a lady in our office and she speaks so so quietly almost like a breathy whisper if that makes sense.

We've had complaints when on teams calls and when she's on the phone with customers that people can't hear her And she wont speak up.

We've worked with her confidence to speak up but she says she is (and does seem) very confident and this is just how she speaks and she won't be changing.

It's unfortunately got to the point where we've had to start the process of managing her out of the business because a huge part of the role is speaking with customers and she definitely wasn't as quiet as this when she interviewed and first started.

I feel terrible about it but AIBU?

Again, if you had read the OPs previous updates, you’d know that this woman has changed her voice. She previously spoke at a normal level deliberately and then reverted back to the volume at which she likes to speak - regardless of whether others are able to hear her or not.

This has nothing to do with discrimination. She is deliberately being awkward for reasons that only she knows.

@GnomeDePlume no, thats really interesting though. I suspect mine might be psychological rather than physical.

It is likely. I had the same thought. If it is SM, commenting, putting pressure on, drawing attention… will only make her quieter.

OP, have you tried asking her what her suggested solution is? Have you laid it all out, along the lines of “we still have a problem here Sandra. As it stands you’re unable to fulfil the core requirements of the role. We’ve tried different tech, we’ve tried you in a different role, we’ve tried an OH referral. Obviously things can’t continue as they are, especially as we’re receiving complaints, so how do you propose things could improve? Because the status quo isn’t an option?” And if she comes out with her “it’ll all work out somehow” vagueness, really pin her down: “No Sandra, that’s not an a solution to the issue. We need to agree some specific, tangible things that are going to change so that your performance on the phone improves. What do you suggest?”

I love the wording of this! Thanks.

I just wanted to give a little update on this. Something odd has happened and 'no voice lady' (as she calls herself for a joke) has had a bit of a change of heart. Someone in the office anonymously reached out to her son and husband and told them she is risking her job, acting strangely and out of character and they were concerned about her. They asked the husband and son if she talked as quietly as this at home or whether it was only a change at work.

Well it turns out 'no voice lady' talks far more normally at home and crucially hasn't told her family that she's having this issue at work, is on a PIP etc.

Well basically the shit has hit the fan and husband has sat her down with the whole family and had a bit of an intervention. He has told her they can't afford for her to lose her job, she can work towards finding another job but essentially she needs to sort herself out and stop being stubborn.

She has then I think had an odd moment of realisation and started to talk normally at least on the phone with clients. We have paid for her to redo her cv and are giving her time in the day to interview for other jobs etc if she wants to because she feels a client facing role isn't sustainable for her long term. She is adamant there is no medical issue and she just realises she likes to be far more quiet than a 'standard' level of speech 🤷‍♀️

Thanks for this, OP.
I don't know about the ethics of contacting her son and DH but hey, it seems to have hit home and quite likely saved her job.
I think your company are being immensely supportive. Is she looking at jobs within your company, or just elsewhere?
I do hope she's OK and either settles into talking 'normally' to clients or finds a more suitable job.

How do you know all of that? I can kind of understand an office with a big gossip culture could get you some of that information, but to be privy to the contents of a conversation about family finances? I can't imagine the quiet lady has volunteered all of that information.

Yes she told me all of it! She is very open as I've said, the way she talks is 'well you'll never guess what happened, I get home and there they all are- Jack, Jane, Jim the whole family! They've said look we need a chat....' (names for example purposes only)

We don't know who the anonymous person was in the office (someone set up a fake Facebook profile and messaged them that way apparently) but she's not annoyed at them and has said maybe she was burying her head in the sand a bit. I'm hoping rather than go elsewhere now she might consider a side step to another part of the company but at the moment she is applying elsewhere and keeps saying 'maybe I do need a fresh start'. She is genuinely lovely so I wish her the best either way.

Holy fucking GDPR and confidentiality breach, Batman.

What is?

1. Using information in the HR system/emergency contacts to be sure of the identity of the son and husband
2. Giving them details of her employment record/disciplinary/occupational health referrals

It's gross professional misconduct to contact her family about this, a fundamental breach of the employer's duty of care in terms of safeguarding and if she leaves (with all your lovely help to complete CVs and the like), she's got herself not just a valid complaint to the ICO, there's also one for constructive dismissal.

No one used the HR system, we're all friends, we know each others partners names etc. We all follow each other on social media. Also they didn't disclose lots of info they literally said we're worried about this lady she has started speaking really quietly etc. Nothing formal. And luckily she doesn't seem to mind, but I guess they did it anonymously in case she did mind.

This is an interesting thread. I have some hearing loss so people who distort their voice or speak very quietly on purpose really annoy me. I mean, when multiple people told her that they just couldn’t understand her, she carried on - that is plain rudeness.

Someone upthread said they couldn’t believe that someone would change their voice / accent at work. I can. I used to know a big, white guy who spoke with a Jamaican accent - everyone called him Jamaican Al (so I assumed he was a white Jamaican). Turns out he’d never been there - one day he decided to speak with that accent and it stuck.

I don’t really have a view on contacting her family - my old company’s HR people would probably have said no way but it sounds as though it did her good. From the sounds of it, she didn’t believe that others didn’t have to put up with her speaking so softly. That being on a PIP may mean she gets sacked (with no compensation) was something she hadn’t realised. People can be nutty.

What a weird woman!

What a weird woman!

Just one category of gross professional misconduct and breach of confidentiality/GDPR, then?

It depends on what you all do for a living but I’m looking back to working with some fairly direct Dutch and Swedish people (for whom English was a second or third language). They just wouldn’t have tolerated having to work with someone they couldn’t understand. They wouldn’t have been rude about it but they would have been “direct”.

Ok 👍

Since when is messaging someone on Facebook a GDPR or confidentiality breach? 🙄

When you're telling people about somebody's Occupational Health, PIP and capability issues.

I'm exactly the same way, and have also been told to speak up. Funnily enough, it had the opposite effect because I'd become so self-conscious that I'd retreat.

It's possible a ND thing and maybe she's been masking this whole time and is suffering burnout as a result of it. It's damn hard trying to keep up a pretence in front of people. Has this even been explored or have you jumped straight into the bullying her out of the business after 4 years?

I just can't really understand the mentality that says that the best method of dealing with someone who has been there for 4 years, has been fine up to that point, the best thing to do is pop them on a PIP and manage them out of the business. All because they've started to talking quieter.

Also is it having a demonstrably negative impact on her work? If she's still able to carry out her calls effectively, I'm not sure you've got much of a leg to stand on.

I don't think the informing colleague acted appropriately but there is no way the ICO would ever do anything about it 😂

If the facebook profile was anonymous there is literally nothing they can do to investigate who it was.

Even if this person had posted from their own profile, as long as they said (as OP has confirmed), they got the husband's information because they were already quiet!colleague's 'facebook friend' then there's no breach of confidentiality on the office's part, the informing colleague was acting in a private capacity in choosing to share the information, the office had no control over it.

Added to which the woman herself isn't even annoyed so has no intention of making a complaint!

Let’s not start bringing logic and facts into things 😂.