People that talk like this

[HelloHappyCampers]

AIBU there is a lady in our office and she speaks so so quietly almost like a breathy whisper if that makes sense.

We've had complaints when on teams calls and when she's on the phone with customers that people can't hear her And she wont speak up.

We've worked with her confidence to speak up but she says she is (and does seem) very confident and this is just how she speaks and she won't be changing.

It's unfortunately got to the point where we've had to start the process of managing her out of the business because a huge part of the role is speaking with customers and she definitely wasn't as quiet as this when she interviewed and first started.

I feel terrible about it but AIBU?

And yes it did occur to me which is why she's gone through occ health. None of this makes her disabled and I'm surprised you'd band that word about like that considering your own issues.

Yes we've done this unfortunately she has to talk on the phone, there's no other way around it with this role. We've looked into making her volume louder and all sorts of tech solutions. She just has to bloody speak up its so bizarre.

If it’s a change I hope she’s seen a neurologist.

@HelloHappyCampers

And yes it did occur to me which is why she's gone through occ health. None of this makes her disabled and I'm surprised you'd band that word about like that considering your own issues.

I didn't. That was you.

As a hearing aid user I wish that more organisations faced up to this. If the job involves speaking clearly on the phone, and you've already had complaints that she can't be heard, then she currently can't do the job. If you can't put anything in place to help her do it, and she can't change it herself, then you need to either find her a different role or dismiss her. Your customers deserve consideration as well.

It was actually another user who has now deleted their post.

Joanna Lumley's voice is very 'breathy' these days, it seems an affectation to me tbh. I've tried breathing out through my mouth when I speak and I get the same sound - mine didn't sound posh though just a bit silly.

I have no idea whether this employee could help herself if she tried, or not. But I do know that it's a bloody annoying trait to work with!

My last boss had a really quiet voice and he didn't try to project it at all. Even in meetings he would speak at the sort of low volume you would use for a quiet, private chat with someone whilst standing right next to them.

It was actually really stressful because you knew that he was saying things that you needed to hear, but you had to concentrate so hard to discern his words and even then you often couldn't make out what he was saying.

Would you mention it though if asked at work or just refuse to engage?

she is choosing to speak this way and she can't/won't change it

If she can’t change it then it isn’t a choice! Is your office open plan/noisy? I’d be offering her to work from a quiet room or at home so there’s no background noise. Easier to change that than ask someone to put on a fake voice.

Her voice/volume level isn't the issue IF SHE DIDN'T HAVE A JOB THAT LITERALLY REQUIRES HER TO SPEAK TO PEOPLE on the phone.

The business is getting complaints and has to act.

If a surgeon loses both hands it isnt his/her fault but it literally means they cannot perform the job.

If a taxi driver starts to lose their sight, its not his fault but nothing can be done allowing them to do their job.

Years ago i worked in a company that sold advertising over the phone and one of the guys developed throat cancer and his treatment meant he lost almost all of his voice, incredibly sad but he couldnt do his job.

Has she seen a regular doctor not just the occupational health one? Is she not concerned that her once normal voice has reduced so much? Or has she told you that it is a choice?

It's because she has a sexy secret.

Did it not occur to you that it would have been mentioned one of the several times she's been asked to speak up?

I once had to work with someone like this i know what you mean.
I and others asked her to speak up but nothing.
She was a lovely person but so quite like whispering all good but not when we are in court the judge even asked can you speak up please.
She had no health issues she just spoke like she was whispering.
One young lady we were working with at the time told her i cant work with you because i cant hear you.
Another is one of my family members whispering no one understands her it something like this.
ME - hi how are you.
Her- hhhiiii oohhh iiimm ookkk its like shes trying to talk seductive breathless.
Her mum says catch ya breath then we hear ya.

I have a naturally soft voice. But people can hear me on the phone. I think for some people it is a habit - but the worst bully I have met spoke quietly at times, it was a total control thing.

My last boss had a really quiet voice and he didn't try to project it at all. Even in meetings he would speak at the sort of low volume you would use for a quiet, private chat with someone whilst standing right next to them.

I was often in the position of note taker at meetings and people who didn’t speak loudly or clearly enough were the bane of my life.

Did you miss the part where the OP says she's been there 4 years and has only started speaking weirdly quietly in the past year. That's not ND. Do you always leap to the assumption the work place is toxic? Is it beyond possible that this issue is the individual's fault?

If it’s the first sign of Parkinson’s, for instance, she would have no idea that her voice had changed. I really hope some ignorant person in occupational health hasn’t just asked her a few questions and sent her back as fine, just annoying. With a drastic change like this to how someone speaks people should be concerned for this woman not irritated. More so if she seems completely unaware of it. She needs to go and see a neurologist.

@HelloHappyCampers obviously if she is unable to do her role then this needs to be addressed.

However, you say she has been seen by Occupational Health and she has been advised she chooses to speak like this? That doesn't sit right with me, all the way through your post, I am thinking this lady appears to have selective mutism which can present as a quiet voice or even a whisper. People with selective mutism do not choose not to speak, they physically cannot speak at that given time.

I have a child with selective mutism, he is generally chatty in his comfort zone but he physically cannot speak in some circumstances.

I do believe selective mutism can affect anyone at anytime, however my child has always suffered with this so I am by no means experienced in it if an adult starts presenting with it but your Occupational Health really should not be stating "she is choosing not to".

@MewMame she seems completely unaware of it

She has been made aware of it by her workplace! And is refusing to engage with the problem.

It wasn't so much a drastic change, she was loud enough at first but has kind of settled in and reverted back to her 'normal' voice I think. She won't speak louder and says we just have to deal with it. She's also desperate to keep her job so I just can't understand the logic really. She knows she's doing it but 🤷‍♀️ not really sure what to do next. The MD wants her gone because we very very rarely get customer complaints but they've definitely seen an increase due to this issue. Colleagues are kind to her but I can tell they actively try not to work alongside her because of this breathy voice. For context (I didn't want to overshare) she is very fit and active and this isn't a health issue.

Is this really likely though? And without the person realising they're doing it?

Sounds like pure affectation to me. I couldn't be arsed with that pish.

@HelloHappyCampers I am not really sure on sudden onset selective mutism as it's not something I personally have come across or needed to address. However I am aware it can occur.

With my son, he won't speak at all in certain situations and will sometimes whisper at school but is a chatterbox at home and speaks at a normal volume.

He has had interventions, he doesn't really like to talk about it but I think he is aware when it happens as when he has had assessments they have asked if they could hear his voice we hear at home and he says no.

Obviously if it continues into adulthood he will need a job that doesn't necessarily need you to be able to chat in the ways he isn't comfortable.

I just think your Occupational Health should be careful with their words as if it is Selective Mutism, not sure if there will be some grounds somewhere. However, I do agree that the situation should be addressed if its having an affect on work.