To say that the next generation is primarily screwed in terms of resilience

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And WTF do we do about it?

Obviously many young people are wonderfully resilient but the overall trend I’ve seen in my line of work (behavioural education) is that there are vast, and I mean VAST numbers of young adults who cannot leave the house, come into a classroom, look someone in the eye, make a phone call, speak infront of the class (if they make it in), cry when pronouns are wrong (daily occurrence), take responsibility to revise/get a job/learn to drive.

What is going to happen to these humans in the future?

Gosh there is such a load of ignorance on this thread.

So oh wise pontificators what do you think should be done about this completely useless generation then?

Yeah, I do. As a society, we have an abundance of food in the shops, we can eat out of season, we have heaps of sitting down time, we (mostly) don't have to chop wood to survive winter, we consume more calories than we need, we have a society in which most people have an education until adulthood. When would you rather live?

This

I agree @Bringtheweatherwithyou It is not just one factor but a multitude of things that have been going on for a while and lockdown just accelerated/exacerbated the issues.

What can adults do to help build resilience.
Try to plug the gaps that have developed in education. Encourage your child to play a team sport, learn an instrument or take part in a drama club and join a social group e.g. Scouts, Cadets.

As they hit sixth form let them get a part time job and let them deal with the issues that arise themselves. Far too many helicopter parents at this age and then they are surprised when they go to uni and fall apart.

Allow your child to find their strengths and weaknesses. Let them fail sometimes and teach them how to help themselves but importantly also how to ask for help if needed.

Limit social media and have honest open conversations from a young age about the perils of the internet/reality of being an adult in the UK including careers and what is needed/effort required to get into their chosen industry.

Time and time again on this thread, people have mentioned things like scours and guides as helping promote resilience. Which it really does, but places are limited, so if people on this thread really want to help young people, rather than just have a moan, please go an volunteer.

And I'm sure I will get excuses
'I have young children so I cant' (my 3 aged 4-9)come with me to the sessions and my oldest is now a young leader)
'I have to work' (I work full time )
'I'm not able (I have a disability)

Just expecting 'the government' to sort this out is part of the problem - people expect things done for them, rather than taking responsibility and investing in their local commuinity :-)

I don't think we have a completely useless generation. We just have far more time to sit around and think than is helpful for anxious apes.

There are so many things to consider here.

I think screens, social media and just society as a whole has ruined the younger generation. I’m 30, so didn’t grow up with it like people 10+ years younger than me.

COVID ruined the education for a lot of school/college/university students. A lot of workplaces are now either totally or mostly remote. So people aren’t having that personal contact and leaving the house as much. Therefore younger people have not had proper chance to experience working in different settings.

Political Correctness has gone mad. (And Id say I’m left wing. Past labour voter) but I think it’s just gone completely mad. I was asked to put my pronouns in my work email signature a few months ago. I refused.

Cost of living crisis, housing crisis, etc. Young people can’t afford to buy houses or even rent. Young people are comparing their situation to their parents/grandparents who could actually afford to buy a house.

TikTok/Instagram/Love Island/Influencers. Just give off unrealistic expectations on how people should look and act. So many young people particularly females are drastically changing their appearances, having surgery, Botox and fillers etc.

So many people are classed as “self diagnosed neurodivergent” and ADHD and ASD are now somehow glamorised and “trendy”.

There are massive mental health waiting lists so people with actual problems can’t get the help and support they need. The NHS is completely on its arse.

There’s multiple conflicts going on all over the world. Scaremongering from tabloids is constant.

@Forhecksake the thing is school anxiety doesn’t always mean generalised anxiety.
Lots of teens function perfectly well in a workplace environment, but can’t cope at all with school specifically. It’s sad because whereas in times gone by children who couldn’t cope with school at 16 could find a job or a trade, they’re now forced into two more years of school type education.

Well, as a teacher I would like to be able to ask all pupils in my lessons questions and for them to have a go at answering.

I have many pupils who are exempt from answering questions. This then has a knock on effect as other pupils say “well X doesn’t have to answer, why should I?”.

(and by answering I mean they won’t even write answers on a whiteboard in a whole class discussion - I just want kids to have a go).

👏👏👏

I can see trouble brewing for the youngsters of today. Mental heath?? Get them off the phones and screens and games. Parents fault. Anything for a quiet life. The kids of today have no idea how to socialise, let's say, lift your eyes to who is talking to you and do abit better than mumble Fine, then eyes down again onto phone.

I agree but no mention of the parents role her in making sure their child/ren spend hours a week outside playing. Playing without structure, without adults and without equipment. How many parents can say their child has been out to play on their own in the last week. Or at least taken to a park and left to get on with it and by that i mean without mummy being within 50m. Very few.
Our children are smothered from birth. You read on here constantly of Mums that won't let family see a new baby for weeks or even let Dad near the baby. We even have a mum on hear now that is anxious about leaving her 18 year old baby boy alone because he can't make a sandwich. No wonder our young are scared of their own shadows.
Parents need to do their job, it is not only the Government and teachers that are supposed to raise our young.

I can't speak for them all but anecdotally schools seem like very stressful places compared to when I went (90s).

This as as well.

I went to a 90s school with silly strict uniform rules and had exam pressure.

My kids seem to have random rules which seem to apply to some kids more than others - it also poorer behaviour and noise big stressors to my DC - they also sit more GCSE with more exams while also missing teachers for long periods.

On top of that poor behavior seems to mean more and more restrictions. My youngest started to struggle - heavily restricted toilet access - noisy environment poor peer behavior and inexperienced teachers/many substitutes - uncomfortable environments and uniforms to hot/cold - she could just about cope with but when they suddenly brought in extra rules and restrictions round eating and drinking - making every lunchtime stressful and often meaning no food or drink all day - she stopped coping - luckily one of the few remaining experienced teachers stepped in for some kids and she back to mostly coping.

The parents are at fault for pandering to nonsense.
You only have to read some of the threads on here to see where the kids get it from.

I think this is the problem too . Also , so many talk of 'gentle parenting' on here ~ how can children become resilient if they can constantly do whatever they like and it doesn't matter , it gives them no idea of how to react to life as they have no standards to follow .

😂😂😂

My kids all did scouts and guides. Fat lot of good that does when you are struggling with severe mental illness without treatment. Seriously some people have zero idea of real life.

And yes I do want the government to protect young people from smart phones. The fallout from them has been catastrophic for my kids. And yes I do want the government to actually provide MH services for children, teens and young people. They don’t get better without treatment just worse which is a massive drain on taxes and the NHS.

Bleating about guides, scouts and in my day does nothing, literally nothing.

Basil agree completely👏

Both the school system and parents have a lot to answer for.

Resilience is all about learning how to fail, but we try to prevent our children failing and overly sympathise when young people are upset about something trivial, saying that their feelings are ‘valid’ (whatever that means).

Parents are very reluctant to allow their children to explore the world other than in a totally safe way, as fear of predatory paedophiles and muggers seems to trump the benefit of those scary experiences of getting lost, avoiding dodgy situations etc.

Grade inflation is massive. We talk growth mindset (wrongly) and tell young people that they can be whatever they want. In addition, most private schools now have drop in counsellors, where school kids can go whenever they feel a bit upset. We have validate MH as a legitimate complaint, which is fine except we don’t seem to think, unlike any other illness, it requires a medical diagnosis. People can just say their MH is suffering, and others have to accept it.

And now universities seem to be joining in, cosseting young people until they are 21. Loads on here want universities to contact them if their children are having problems, denying them the autonomy of adulthood at 18.

It just isn’t surprising that young people are conditioned into seeing the world as a scary place…

Not sure if that was aimed at me but I can’t find anywhere where I’ve been even vaguely disparaging about young people. It’s a societal
problem and they’re the victims.

Im not at work today but going out to volunteer in a minute. The decimation of the youth service by the Tories means that no one gets paid for youth clubs any more. But I love doing my bit, young people tend to be much better company than adults 😂

I guess that was my point really, I’ll see the more resilient, but the OP will see the less resilient. We can’t generalise, which the post is trying to do.

Most parents are both at work with children in wrap around until late. Most families struggle
to afford the mortgage on a shoe box let alone a house with a big garden or in a nice leafy safe area full of parks and easily accessible play spaces. Roads are faster, more congested and less safe. Kids can meet anybody via their smartphones…

Agreed. Working in mental health services we have seen a huge increase in numbers referred for things that are sadly part of life but seem to cause significant levels of distress. Not typical mental illness but life events where often people don't have the resilience, coping skills or distress tolerance to get through them.
People are looking for quick fixes and there appears to be an expectation that mental health services have a magic wand that can fix all of life's challenges.

I agree with this. It's a different side to some of the other points being made (eg parents being so focused on their own children/making their own children's lives easier) or the cost of living crisis/adult burn out etc.

Over the years, I've taken on all kinds of relatively small volunteer roles - class rep for my children's classes, PTA committee plus years of just turning up to help at various PTA events, volunteering when needed for my children's extra-curricular activities, helping out by providing my work for free for a couple of community campaigns. Ditto DH (he's a musician so you can imagine how often he's asked to do free music for things).

And yet, the two key takeaways I have from this are 1. the vast majority of adults simply refuse to do even ONE of these things, even just occasionally and 2. If you DO do it, you're almost always going to find yourself on the receiving end of unpleasant/rude/entitled behaviour. Which frankly, just makes my point 1 above more likely.

YABU. Certainly not amongst the young people I know. My DS is nearly 17 and so laid back he's horizontal, every single teacher comments on it on parents'evening both at school and 6th form college. His friends are all pretty similar to my tribe so I was that age mid to late 90s. The naval gazing is part and parcel of that age, we certainly spoke a lot about our feelings on everything, how we didn't want the predictable corporate life or work/family life our parents had had, programmes like Dawson's Creek and The OC reflected how self obsessed and neurotic young people can be, I appreciate that these were dramas and American but I think they were popular because they tapped into the anxieties young people often have. I think our parents' generation questioned our flakiness, personally, my Dad asked me when I was going to commit to something career wise and sort my life out as I was too old at 24 to be so aimless.

Equally, my DC will not have as many advantages and even fun as we did, they are resilient to this prospect, in a way that we would not have been.

How lovely. I think staff like you are part of the problem. What constitutes life events in your eyes?