Aibu to not get up early?

[LateRiserLazyCow]

In my late 40s, kids left the nest, and have realised that I'm just not a morning person!
During covid lockdown my body clock seemed to find its own rhythm and I found myself going to bed around 1-2am and waking around 9 or 10am. I'm lucky that after struggling with working early mornings for years I've been able to find a job starting later in the day.
This is all good but I get alot of stick from people for supposedly being 'lazy' because I'm not up at bloody 6am like them. Constantly exclaiming horror at me still being in bed when they've been up for hours!
Why are they so judgemental! You live your life and stop judging me for living mine...

I'm exactly the same as you. I'm not a morning person at all.

I wonder why staying in bed reading in the morning is seen as lazy but going to bed early and reading isn't? I often see people saying they are in bed at 9pm.

I manage my own time work wise and I often start at 11 but don't really stop until 7. I prefer it because I don't have to get up early!

What time do you start work,

I know. It's really irritating.

I find some morning people to be unbelievably sanctimonious. They seem to believe it's a moral failing to sleep past whatever time they get up at. You only have to look at some of the threads on here when the op is complaining about noise at 7am and there are loads of responses saying it's perfectly reasonable as everyone should be up by then anyway.

I don't judge people for going to bed early and getting up early so why do they judge me for the converse?

I’m also a night owl. Much more productive later in the day. I will still be up for 16-18 hours a day, just like other people, they’re just different hours.
During the lockdowns I found getting up between 8-9 and going to bed between 1-2am was where I was most comfortable.
Having to get up at 7am to get kids out to school is honestly the worst bit of my day!
It’s the way that being up early is seen as morally superior that gets to me I think. There’s probably some deep rooted reason based on historical religion or farming but no reason anymore.

I'm with you! Given the choice I'd sleep 1am-9am, but in a family of people who wake up at 6am and are shattered by 9pm I'm considered lazy! I get more done 9pm-1am than I do any other time of day. Sadly am forced into early wake ups for school runs. My in-laws find it so weird that I don't spring out of bed at 6am and definitely get the impression they think they're superior because they're morning people!

I'm the same as you if left to my own devices. It would be nice to be a morning person, but I'm just not! Having to start work at 8am is a struggle for me while colleagues seem to actively enjoy it or even start at 7am by choice so they can finish earlier!

Agree with PP that early rising is seen as morally superior for some silly reason. Which is why people love to point it out.

As a night owl, I fully agree. With flexible hours at work, those who got in early were very smug and sanctimonious, disregarding the fact that they went home early too, instead treating us as if we also went home early. Now I'm retired and get up around 9, many people are still keen to stress how they've already been to the gym/done their weekly shop/walked 5 miles before I've even got up. (Though I'd like to be a lark, see the sun rise, listen to the dawn chorus etc.)

We as a family are the same, people say we waste the day but thats only because they say it like we are in bed and 9pm. People say get out early and its quieter but we always like it when its quieter later when all the Morning people have gone home! Walking the dog at sunset is lovely especially when you are not shattered parks wirh the DC etc are always so much quieter as well we often have it to ourselves! Dont get me wrong we do get up early and go out on occasion, and that is nice but I love a decent nights sleep!

Nothing wrong with it. I've never been a morning person either. I'd rather have your pattern than be asleep at 9pm and up at 5am. It's weird people think they have a right to comment on it.

I'm not a morning person nor are my kids. Saturday is family lie in day usually. Smug early risers need a dose of their own faux horror when you hear that they "waste" 4 hours of the evening by going to bed at 9. (Non judgemental early risers are ok 😬)

I will start by saying I am a morning person. However I think it annoys me and I'm jealous and would love to get up at 9am but my body just won't let me, even when I have nothing planned. Go to bed at 3am still wake at 6am very frustrating.

I love being retired as I can choose to sleep whenever I like. I tend to still be awake and reading, watching a film etc. sometimes at 2 or 3am. I might then lie in until 11am if I feel like it. I live on my own so I’m not impacting anyone else. Sod what others may think. Let them judge - I do as I please.

I am not a morning person I had 35 years of early morning commuting of which 15 years were horrendous. I’m retired now and rarely get up before 9am.

I’m in bed reading this. Drinking tea. But I tell myself I really should get up earlier.

There's not a bit of shame in it at all.

I never thought my body clock could change to be a morning person but having a young child changed everything so now I'm happy getting up at 7 (thank god the 5am phase didn't last too long!)

But I can well imagine that went children are grown and your time is your own again, my natural body clock would rather wake at 9.

I'm sure plenty of people are envious that they can't lie in longer because of work/children etc.

I’m most productive in the evenings, especially the early hours. My body seems to naturally gravitate towards 2am - 9am but I do 1-8 as a compromise. I WFH and can start work later, and yet I still feel this awful anxiety/guilt/pressure to go to bed before midnight. Last night I didn’t get to bed until after 1, and then it took me ages to drift off. I felt really stressed about it, which is completely ridiculous but I’ve been conditioned by society to feel bad about my body’s natural circadian rhythm. It’s actually a bit of a problem that I’m trying to address, because being stressed when getting into bed is contributing to my insomnia.

I read something ages ago that this is a survival thing. We have to sleep, habitually we live in communities having people who naturally wake early, or others go to sleep late means the tribe has some level of protection from predators for longer.

Are they paying your bills? No? Then they can mind their own business.

How do they even know what time you get up at. Do people really discuss that?

@AppleDumplingWithCustard
I can't wait for retirement. I reckon I'll go full on Dracula!
I used to be driving to work at 7am and see lots of pensioners walking to the local shop for thier newspaper... I'd want to lean out the window and shout "oi you mad cow, get back in bed" 😂

I am still miffed at my dad for telling me when I was early 20s that I'd get used to early mornings. I stupidly believed him. I'm 41 and need to get kids to breakfast club then be in my classroom by 8.30 absolute latest. I hate mornings! If my dh tries to talk to me pre 10am on a weekend he soon gives up as I'm pretty monosyllabic .

I get up earlyish sometimes but not because I want to, I'm very anxious. So if I'm worrying about things I'm up by 6am and can't fall back to sleep but so tired by midday I treat myself to a nice long afternoon nap. Which plenty of people tell me is the height of laziness but I'm an adult now with a full time shift work job. If I want a nana nap at 1 in the afternoon I'm bloody well having one! Today I slept in til 10 and woke up feeling nice and rested. Having a coffee and probably won't do anything productive until midday. You're allowed to rest. Hustle culture can get in the bin.

Some of the most successful people on this planet arrange their days so they only work in the afternoon for this exact reason! You do you!

I’m a night owl too. When I only had one baby/toddler, he used to wake up at 6am for a bottle and then go back to sleep again until 9.40. It was bliss. But I had loads of people saying I should get up and out at that time. Obviously different when you have a second child. We never managed any morning mother and toddler events but managed to find my tribe who liked doing things in the afternoon.
Different hours does not equal laziness. You’re awake for the same number of hours. Morning people are SO sanctimonious ( I’ve lived with one for 25 years but he’s come to accept me now😂)

We are also broadly slower-start people and sometimes it can get tricky because we'll be organising something with the DC, and the other family want to meet at 9am because they've been up for 3 hours by then, but we're all barely surfacing!

DH, given the choice, would probably go to bed at 2-3 and sleep until 12. I don't actually care but it has been a problem in the past when that would limit our options for things to do or getting stuff done that had to be done during working hours. But it's less of an issue now as we're not looking for necessarily super child friendly things plus we've got a good rhythm of all being able to get up early if we need to.

Our DC also go to bed much later than most of their friends. Even DD, who really does need sleep, only goes to bed at 9:30. But she only gets up at 7:40 so she's getting the same 10 hours as her buddies so...

I have this issue with DH, HE goes to bed at 10 and is up by 7. My natural rhythm is to go to bed at 1am and get up at 9-10am! he thinks I am lazy for not getting up early on a weekend and going for a run like he does! I am much more productive later in the day. If it wasnt for the complaints I would get about the noise I would do house work at midnight!