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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to not get up early?

109 replies

LateRiserLazyCow · 26/02/2024 09:39

In my late 40s, kids left the nest, and have realised that I'm just not a morning person!
During covid lockdown my body clock seemed to find its own rhythm and I found myself going to bed around 1-2am and waking around 9 or 10am. I'm lucky that after struggling with working early mornings for years I've been able to find a job starting later in the day.
This is all good but I get alot of stick from people for supposedly being 'lazy' because I'm not up at bloody 6am like them. Constantly exclaiming horror at me still being in bed when they've been up for hours!
Why are they so judgemental! You live your life and stop judging me for living mine...

OP posts:
TedMullins · 26/02/2024 11:58

Oh this is 100% me. I'm a 2am-10am sleeper and I'm self employed so I start work when it suits me. I have surges of productivity around 10-11pm, in the mornings my brain is slow and just wants to procrastinate (hence being on MN when I should be working...)

CutthroatDruTheViolent · 26/02/2024 12:09

YANBU.

My natural wake time is 9am, I actually get up at 0830 to be 'ready' for work (from home of course). I do have kids but they're all secondary age and getting themselves up, and my husband is up earlier anyway so he chivvies them along.

Don't get me wrong, I go to bed normally between 11-midnight, so not particularly late, but earlier and I still naturally wake at 9am.

Codlingmoths · 26/02/2024 12:15

When I retire I am immediately going to have a week of reading half the night and turning the light off at 2 or 3 am and sleeping till 10. Then I’ll be sensible but that means getting up at 8ish except for a few days I will sacrifice mornings for grandchildren.

Codlingmoths · 26/02/2024 12:16

It’s only 30 years away. Counting down!

rustlerwaiter · 26/02/2024 12:17

I'm the same. It's only really taking DS to school that means I'm up before 8am. Left to my own devices I'm a night owl.

I work with a guy who gets up at 4am to go to the gym. I asked what time he goes to bed to be regularly getting up at that time and he said 8pm. DS isn't even in bed by 8pm.

OneMoreTime23 · 26/02/2024 12:18

Same here. Larks do tend to think they are superior, but frankly they can fuck off.

Catza · 26/02/2024 12:20

I had this exact same conversation with my partner. I don't technically object to waking up early but I need at least two hours in the morning to potter around before I am even remotely ready. He is up at 5 and out by 5.30 to go to the gym. I am awake at 7 but probably don't get out of bed before 8 and then I need at least an hour to have my coffee, breakfast and another coffee.
He doesn't seem to be able to comprehend why I can's get up and get going first thing in the morning, but equally, he is asleep on the couch at 7pm and I am still going strong well past "reasonable" bedtime.

User19798 · 26/02/2024 12:26

When they say
"you miss half the day"
reply "you miss hald the night"
when they say "you wasted the day"
say "you wasted the night"

If they imply you are lazy laugh at them and say that you think it is lazy to go bed so early. Their opinion is based on a weird set of moral values that are outdated. They prob also think a man in a suit and tie is more respectable and a meal not eaten at the table is slovenly. I find it funny and old fashioned, quaint really. Like my nana scrubbing her step. Bless them.

GirlMum40 · 26/02/2024 12:31

Nah, given the choice i would definitely get up 9.30-10. Also I need a good 8 hours sleep at least. I can do it on a weekend, but just got to wait until kids can independently get themselves ready and to school and my time will come 🙂 (not that I am wishing time away) Definitely no judgement here.

FluffyChemical · 26/02/2024 12:33

rustlerwaiter · 26/02/2024 12:17

I'm the same. It's only really taking DS to school that means I'm up before 8am. Left to my own devices I'm a night owl.

I work with a guy who gets up at 4am to go to the gym. I asked what time he goes to bed to be regularly getting up at that time and he said 8pm. DS isn't even in bed by 8pm.

I can't imagine anything worse than getting up at 4am in the dark and cold to go to the gym. Each to their own I guess but that sounds a miserable existence. The birds aren't even up at 4am!

Giggorata · 26/02/2024 12:38

One of the delightful things about retirement has been that I have become semi nocturnal.
I'll keep an eye out for predators, you larks.

Alphabet1spaghetti2 · 26/02/2024 12:44

I’m a confirmed, dyed in the wool night owl.
Firmly of the belief that we are just as important evolutionary speaking as larks. After all, who would have defended the tribe whilst the larks slept against dinosaurs etc. now we keep the the economy running doing all the evening and nighttime jobs.
Both night owls and larks are needed.

xcski · 26/02/2024 12:48

This irritates me too. My body just does not want to wake up that early and also doesn't want to go to sleep early. No amount of people telling me that I should get out of bed earlier and giving me tips about how to do this "I drink a pint of water with vinegar in the morning and I'm awake immediately" is going to make the slightest bit of difference.
I am very productive from around 4 pm to 10 pm. I'm self-employed, thank goodness. My brain does not work properly before midday. It is slow and inefficient so it's a waste of time evening trying to get it to do something.

I moved from the UK to another European country where the vast majority of people are up with the larks - mainly because school begins at 7.15 am and most workplaces from 7 or 7.30. It took quite a while for people into the village to realize that I work just as hard as them, it's just that I start working later. I can't deal with phone calls before 9 am and over the years people have realized that if they phone at 6.45am they won't get an answer. Just as if I phoned them at 9pm I wouldn't expect an answer either because they are in bed!

ShiveringMeTimbers · 26/02/2024 12:51

After all, who would have defended the tribe whilst the larks slept against dinosaurs etc

I'd be very surprised as the first humans didn't appear until around 65 million years after the dinos disappeared Grin

strugglingnd · 26/02/2024 12:51

I have never been a morning person. Luckily my children even as toddlers were not early risers. I got up about 10 this morning, had a shower and now just starting work.
Thankfully my little dog loves the bed in the morning as well.
If I have to get up earlier its fine but out of choice 10 am is early enough 🙃

Stormyweathr · 26/02/2024 12:51

I am a early riser but not through choice
i wake up everyday absolutely drained and dead on my feet, this then means I am asleep by 9-10pm I wish I could stay awake longer and envy people who can stay up later

ignore the haters they are just jealous of you (and so am I 🤣)

my mum often told me as I get older I would be awake earlier and it would be normal to me. It’s not normal to me at all I am 43 and still waiting for the day I can get up at 6am with a spring in my step

MummyJ36 · 26/02/2024 12:53

I have two young kids, and it takes all of my effort to go to bed before 11pm and be up before 7am. I’m just not wired like that. I’ve always been a night owl (and late riser as a result) but I’m putting it on hold whilst my little ones come first. As soon as they start sleeping in I will happily join them!!!

Alphabet1spaghetti2 · 26/02/2024 12:54

@ShiveringMeTimbers there are and always will be night predators. Sometimes animal and sometimes human. All need to be dealt with! Happy to oblige…

cardibach · 26/02/2024 12:55

Codlingmoths · 26/02/2024 12:15

When I retire I am immediately going to have a week of reading half the night and turning the light off at 2 or 3 am and sleeping till 10. Then I’ll be sensible but that means getting up at 8ish except for a few days I will sacrifice mornings for grandchildren.

Why is getting up at 8 any more ‘sensible’ than getting up at 10?

ShiveringMeTimbers · 26/02/2024 12:56

Alphabet1spaghetti2 · 26/02/2024 12:54

@ShiveringMeTimbers there are and always will be night predators. Sometimes animal and sometimes human. All need to be dealt with! Happy to oblige…

I'm curious if night owls have good night vision? My night vision is excellent in complete darkness (hopeless in headlights).

Tarmacadamia · 26/02/2024 12:57

I'm a total morning person - struggle to sleep past 6 - and you're right, there's definitely a smugness associated with early rising that makes no sense. I try to fight it but it's hardwired! I think we're all conditioned from an early age to think that morning people are more productive and just generally more efficient human beings. The truth is I spend the first 2 hours of the day sitting in my pjs drinking tea and waiting for everyone else to get up, I don't do anything useful with it.

scaredofff · 26/02/2024 12:59

I've found my people finally

I'm a 2-10 sleeper

WeRateSquirrels · 26/02/2024 13:01

YANBU at all. I work with several people who act as if I'm lazy for waking up at 7 (they've been up since 5 and done 2 hours of exercise). I'm sleeping much better since DS went to university and I can suit myself (11 - 7 seems to be good for me).

Really don't like that being an early riser is seen as being morally superior.

MsMarch · 26/02/2024 13:07

DS has inattentive ADHD and much prefers sleeping late, and getting up late. He obviously doesn't have a lot of choice currently due to school, sports etc, but it's on his list of considerations for a career. He doesn't want any sort of job that requires a religious, never ending need to get up at 7am. He's actively thinking about what jobs he can do later in the day/into the evening and/or on a shift pattern. Careers we've talked about at various times include police, hospitality and personal services like physiotherapy/osteopath (he's good at science and very active) where you can build a practice focused on later sessions for people who want to come after their regular work day.

Branwells77 · 26/02/2024 13:17

After many years (20+) of being up before 6am I struggle to sleep in past 6:30 which at the moment I am still having to get up 5:45 for work but I’m praying I get those days where I can sleep in it’s my life goal now lol I only tend to sleep for 5/6 hours a night I go to bed between 11pm and Midnight weeknights weekends I’ll stay up later if I can however I’m still awake about 6ish which infuriates me enjoy it OP other people are just jealous 😂