Mumsnet posts which drive me mad

[Ilovecleaning]

Anyone hate these posts?

• really really really long posts
• long posts with NO paragraphs
• posts which start ‘ I have a friend, let’s call her Jane; her DH, let’s call him Sam… you can’t bloody well follow the post. Much easier just to say Friend and DH.

Any others? 😊

People who are descibing something and say "think X" instead of what it actually is

Also when someone can't name their 'expensive hobby' as it's too outing.

What is it? Extreme ironing? Collecting navel fluff? Cockroach racing? 😂

Nah. Navel fluff is free

Oh also, the 'I've chopped my head off, should I go to A&E?' threads.

Even if they're bleeding profusely and still managing to type on Mumsnet, you can guarantee every single time, someone will be along to tell them they're wasting the NHS time. 😂

I'm on a roll now...

I’m with those of you who roll their eyes at “three friends, let’s call them A, B and C”.

They paint one of them so bad they may as well have said “friend A, B and Fuckface”.

Whichever “friend” the poster is has always bought friend Fuckface a “beautiful, thoughtful gift” and friend Fuckface has bought amazing Friend A a bag of Maltesers.

At the top of my list are the posters who demand that an OP comes back to update the thread, particularly on threads in relationships, where the OP is clearly going through a very hard time. Some posters act like it's all for their entertainment. I saw one yesterday where some had even included a laughing face emoji at the end of their demand.

I also hate the posts which ask an OP who is clearly in an abusive relationship why they married him. Ok, I get it, not everyone knows the classic abuser tactic of being lovely at the start of a relationship and only showing their true colours once the woman is trapped, but come on, why stick the boot in? I imagine this type of poster thinks they are coming across as looking smart and independent, but they just come across as thick and unpleasant.

It's mean because you're singling out one poster. Whereas this thread is about things in general that irritate people. It's not asking for anyone to criticise specific posters.

Where's the takeaway missing husband thread?!

so yes! And because it would be a TAAT you never know if anyone found a new thread/what actually happened...

I forgot to add, I also hate the posts which assume that MN is a thing. As in, "Mumsnet thinks X".

No MN does not think X, MN doesn't think anything. Some posters on MN might think that, but your perspective of whether that is a normal way of thinking for the majority of posters on MN is skewed by which threads you read.

Ahhh. The one they refers to herself in the third person

🤣

No, several posters do this. I would not single one person out, for goodness sake.
However, several posters here have referred to specific posts (not by username) which could identify them, so unless you are going to name them and call them mean in public, please stop targetting me

Where SEN is used as an excuse for every bit of bad behaviour.

There seems to be no such thing as bad parenting or badly behaved children any more.

Titles that start Why do men..?

When it's not 'men'. It's the man you chose. Don't assume we all made the same shit choice!

Threads about FWBs which paint all men as sexually incontinent predators and presume all women are morally outraged defenders of sexual virtue who can't have sex without falling desperately in love and hoping for something more.

Dull threads about how often people do laundry/clean the bathroom.

"What's Mumsnet up to today?' Usually on a Sunday. Who actually cares?

Threads where someone has posted about becoming pregnant early in a new relationship with a man whose already shown themselves to be an abusive dick and need to process their decision on keeping it or terminating. The threads themselves don't bother me but all the, "I had a baby with someone lovely with a year of meeting them and we're still together 20 years later so you'll be fine too!" And, "But its a baby. And all babies are wonderful. And you should have babies!" type responses really irk me.

And all the ones where a woman posts about discovering her partner is cheating during her third pregnancy and doesn't know what to do when it transpires that she caught him cheating at the start of the relationship and messaging sex workers before she became pregnant with the first. Believed his remorse and conceived a second child in celebration and has realised by the third that he isn't going to change. Again, it's not the women/threads that irk me though. More the societal expectations and pressues that mean many women will hang into a relationship for dear life rather than think, "Fuck that, I'd rather be single!"

When an OP asks what mumsnetters do for a living or how much they earn, then some posters reply with "DH... earns" or "DH is a..."

Or then ones that say "I asked DH and he said"

And as an addition, posters that come on threads like this and pick apart individual posts

Which leads me to wee cliques and threads that treat this like a private club

And people referring to themselves in the third person

"Could it be dementia/autism?"

Yes actually. I have. She couldn't be arsed to sign up just to ask one question so asked me to ask as she knew I use MN. I didn't post in the end but yes I was asked

Oh yes the 'missing husband' ones. He's fine, just trashed and will be home in the early hours to piss in his clothes and pass out.

Also the 'I can't travel to my grandmothers 100th birthday because it's an hour away and that means I'll be out half the day. My dog cannot be left alone ever even for a minute'. Since when are dogs more high maintenance than newborns? Either train the bloody thing or put it out of its misery.

I said this on the other similar thread but felt it needed repeating…

When posters (often changed usernames but the details match up and spelling/grammar usage is easy to spot!) post every day, or often several times a day, about the same or similar thing… and yet when offered advice always give xyz excuse about why they can’t possibly do that. And get irate and defensive afterwards. Can think of a couple in particular right now.

Made worse when other posters begin fawning over them, offer help, even money, etc. (I appreciate this doesn’t happen with all of them).

Stick to one thread or keep a diary ffs

When a thread on an interesting or hot topic moves on to a second and subsequent threads and loads of posters fill up the first several pages with ‘marking my place!’ Or worse ‘PMK’ or pictures of their cats. You’ve probably been here for centuries, use the site functionality to watch the thread and bookmark, it’s not necessary to announce your presence.

I also hate the how old/what size do I look.

You know the person just wants an ego boost 'No way do you look 46, I thought you were about 17' & invariably you get posters deliberately going the opposite way. 'I thought you were mid 60s'

And posts where the OP thinks they're more interesting than they are. Their original thread was all of 3 pages but they start a new thread with an update noones waiting for

Oh & most threads that have a part 2 or worse a part 3. Normally only because they start embellishing the story to keep their fan base interested

Aibus where op gets confused by the options and they don't work.

Yanbu: I'm right
Yabu: she's wrong

Where posters take over other people's situations

'My bff new partner likes playing bingo but I think it's wrong, I keep on telling bff but she won't listen to me, she has to what I say, I can't handle it if she won't do what I tell her'

Or variations

I did this yesterday by accident and I hate myself for it 😅

Unfortunately there's no option to edit the quote out after it's posted

Oh yeah I hate the ones where a poster says 'Well, I just asked DH and HE says...' as if her random husband must have the final word for he is a MAN.

Or posts that start 'Speaking as a man...' for much the same reason.

How do you not do this btw? I’m one of those. 😳