Mumsnet posts which drive me mad

[Ilovecleaning]

Anyone hate these posts?

• really really really long posts
• long posts with NO paragraphs
• posts which start ‘ I have a friend, let’s call her Jane; her DH, let’s call him Sam… you can’t bloody well follow the post. Much easier just to say Friend and DH.

Any others? 😊

I can’t recall who the specific poster was but I do remember the thread having a lot of obsequious fawning alright. I’m not from the UK but I frequently read the royal family threads with a mix of amused and horrified fascination at the way some people carry on there.

Yes. And, "Are you all teenagers??" when posters find themselves dealing with unpleasant situations that are not of their creation.

I posted a couple of years ago about an unpleasant situation my partner and I found ourselves in with a mutual friend.

I got some really good advice and some very prophetic warnings about how her behaviour might change/escalate with a sadly predictable outcome.

I got loads of, "You all sound like children!", "How old are you all? 15?" and "Grow up!" type comments.

Her behaviour was pathetic/immature/childish etc but having been put in the unfortuante and uncomfortable position of having to deal with it wasn't!

Oh, and all the smug 'Not My Nigel' type comments from women who are so certain that their partners would never cheat.

I don't believe that my partner would. I wouldn't be with him otherwise! But would I ever be so naive as to proclaim he never would? Of course not.

None so blind as those who will not see often springs to mind...

the ones where they post the once and only once! never ever come back to answer a question!
Then you have the flipside. The OP usually start with a "grab a cup of tea and settle in" or some variation, with a "you can see where this is going" and then go on and on and you just know they are setting up for a multi part thread.
Usually a DH related one where every third post is the OP drip feeding or 'discovering' more as the day goes on.

Any variation of the following "I'm shaking with laughter" "I just spat out my tea" "DH is looking at me like I'm crazy" as a response to the try hard poster who laps it up and continues her day believing she's as funny and/or witty as she thinks she is. No, you really shouldn't believe the posters who'd 'read that book' they're encouraging you to write 😂

The "name changed because it's 'outing' poster" who then goes into incredibly identifying detail and no matter how many A B & Cs there are to the story, you're left thinking "yeah, sure it's the user name that's going to out you" 🙄

Sometimes people are arseholes. Not 'narcs'. Just arseholes who you've let treat you badly. Yes, the signs were there. They've always been an arsehole.
Same with kids. Sometimes they are just badly behaved because you've let them be 🤷‍♀️

Posters who insist that holding your knife in your left hand is wrong. No it isn't. It isn't a good idea to cut your food with your non dominant hand if you are left handed.

I thought lefthandedism went out with the Victorians.

😫😫😫

I have one. Sorry I have to use your post as an example. Assuming someone else's intentions are bad first and then start on them. That's really fucking irritating.

Because someone might come along and say something like 'Interesting first post OP' or similar implying they are a troll.

Posts from the same person under different user names when they’re asking the same questions month after month after month but don’t do anything to change their situation.

Obviously fake typos in thread titles e.g. "AIBU to not wank [want] this?" which the OP will then claim is an autocorrect, oh silly me teehee.

Yep. Especially as everyone knows, you phone will autocorrect from wank to walk (unless like me you've typed it in so often your phone has added it to the dictionary so it no longer does it. Evidently! 😅)

Any variation of the following "I'm shaking with laughter" "I just spat out my tea" "DH is looking at me like I'm crazy" as a response to the try hard poster who laps it up and continues her day believing she's as funny and/or witty as she thinks she is. No, you really shouldn't believe the posters who'd 'read that book' they're encouraging you to write 😂

Yep!

There have been a couple of threads over the years that were so funny that I have genuinely laughed at them. But most of the time I read that, I can't even see why it's particularly funny!

The "name changed because it's 'outing' poster" who then goes into incredibly identifying detail and no matter how many A B & Cs there are to the story, you're left thinking "yeah, sure it's the user name that's going to out you" 🙄

They recognise that it's outing, so they've name changed so that their other posts aren't linked when people IRL recognise them. It's a very sensible thing to do - not name changing when posting your own recognisable situation is a little bit insane. They state it as otherwise they get "Interesting first post" implying they're a troll.

'You do know that--'

There's just something so arrogant and smug about it that drives me wild

Because people often reverse search the OP and ask why they have no history if the topic is at all "juicy" as they want to troll hunt. The OP is just trying to preempt the thread getting detailed that way.

I hate the ‘it’s half-term’ comments in response to inane threads. I have raised three children to adulthood. At no point in their upbringing would they have thought it was fun to go online and make up threads on Mumsnet.

Blame the troll hunters, who would otherwise write, “interesting first post, OP 🤔” .

Some of them will then try to pick the OP’s posts apart, “you say you have one sister, but your brother said he has two! 🤨”

😂I'm crying laughing at this..."fuckface" hahaha

Posts which follow the following format:

OP - AIBU?
Mumsnet Posters by a huge/massive majority - Yes you are
OP - Oh but........

I have read a number of posts recently where the OP will not be persuaded that they were/are being unreasonable. Doesn't matter if 99% of those posting say they are, the OP clearly only made their post because they wanted people to agree with them and continue to argue that they were in the right. WTF do they make the posts in the first place then?

Literally crying?

Or even laughing.

Really?

😉

Then they post and if he was here on this thread I would tell him to leave you and you need counseling for being abusive to your husband. I enjoy reading them threads.

Huh, those threads annoy you?? They bring me endless joy

I like when they use fake names I find it much easier to follow. Instead of Friend A, B, C. Abby Becca and Cole will stick in my head much better

Those that chuck in the “c” word, knowing full well that many reading still find it massively offensive. But when questioned revel in people not liking it and say they’re grown ups and can say what they like. Whilst actually being quite childish.

I’m waiting for the inevitable childish response to this comment from these very people by the way.

Honestly? Yes! I'm sat at my desk and I saw 'fuckface' and just burst out laughing. Colleagues asked what I was laughing at...they all laughed...for some reason it really tickled me and I just couldn't stop laughing, to the point I had tears running down my face... do you never have one of those moments where you've found something funny but then your reaction is probably OTT to the scenario?

whenever a thread with Friends A/B/C come up in future, one of them, in my head will always be called 'fuckface'. haha.

This and then they add….but he’s a great father!

Yes but never at a post on MN! 😁