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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What is she up to?

807 replies

DontVisitCabotCove · 25/02/2024 16:18

DB, his partner “Jane” & her 2 kids have been staying with me - in my house - after the house they were buying fell through. They had been looking at other properties to buy but have since decided to end their relationship so that’s no longer happening.

Yesterday while my DB and I were out and unbeknownst to me, Jane had an estate agent over to value my house & as he was leaving he told her he’d send her an email with the valuation & they were talking about viewings etc.

Today Jane asked me to give her a letter stating that my brother is living here but wouldn’t tell me why she wanted it & was really unhappy when I said I’d give her a letter saying they were both temporarily staying with me as that’s the actual truth.

What on earth could she be up to? I’m honestly baffled!

Should I tell her that I know about the valuation? Should I tell my DB about all of this?

On one hand I don’t want to get involved in their troubles or make things worse (things are bad enough between them already) but on the other hand I feel I’m being drawn into it as it’s my bloody house she had valued!

OP posts:
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Original poster
DontVisitCabotCove · 25/02/2024 17:28

Thanks for all the replies so far! To answer some questions:

  1. My doorbell camera picked it up, I have footage of the estate agent arriving and then their conversation on the doorstep as he was leaving about emailing the valuation and being in touch about viewings etc.
  2. She asked for the letter this morning but I only saw the footage a few hours ago while trying to track down a parcel
  3. They aren’t married and the kids aren’t his so I don’t think it’s anything to do with a settlement. They have no joint assets as the house purchase that fell through was going to be their first home together
  4. I have no mortgage on my home
  5. She’s due to move out in 10 days into rented
  6. I‘ve been home alone since I found out about the valuation so there’s no one here to tell or confront
  7. My ID is safe and secure

I have a life limiting illness and I’m currently undergoing medical treatment so maybe that’s why I’m not as angry as I probably should be. I have a lot on my plate right now and to be honest I had no idea what she could be up to - hence asking here - so naively thought I could maybe just ignore it (as there’s not much she can do with a valuation anyway) for a quiet life as she’s due to leave shortly and I could really do without any trouble whilst I’m so sick.

OP posts:
SheepAndSword · 25/02/2024 17:29

I'm now imagining Jane prowling around looking for OP's will.

You've got amazing self restraint @DontVisitCabotCove but you need to confront this behaviour NOW. It is seriously not normal.

PandaChopChop · 25/02/2024 17:33

I'm so sorry to hear you're not well.
You must contact the estate agent and find out what is going on though.
She needs to leave ASAP.

FunkyMonks · 25/02/2024 17:35

Get her out of your house immediately op you are far too calm for this she's trying to scam you why else would she have arranged an estate agent get her out.
Inform the police of fraud and the estate agents.
Also I hope any of your house deeds/documents are securely locked away and she hasn't managed to get hold of them.

SerendipityJane · 25/02/2024 17:35

My doorbell camera picked it up, I have footage of the estate agent arriving and then their conversation on the doorstep as he was leaving about emailing the valuation and being in touch about viewings etc.

Hmm

Last time I worked in Estate Agency software, it was impossible to add a property and contact details until the money laundering and due diligence checks had been passed. And a viewing/valuation wouldn't happen without.

Admittedly that was one system and there are many. But I would be surprised if they varied that much. And the agents themselves were keen to have any and all help from the system to prevent mistakes. Because mistakes can be very costly. as I was told. Hourly.

So if nothing else I would be intrigued as to what's happened out of sight here. From imagination it involves "borrowed" paperwork and outright lies and deception.

Even without any of that, surely a halfway decent estate agent would have got something in writing to make sure they got their commission ?

Mazuslongtoenail · 25/02/2024 17:37

I’d be getting her to leave if she got a valuation on my house!

Jabberwonky · 25/02/2024 17:39

She needs to leave and you need to have a stern conversation with the EA.

Hadalifeonce · 25/02/2024 17:40

I still think you need to contact the EA and tell him that you are the home owner and SiL is with you temporarily, so they should not contact her with any details concerning your house.

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 25/02/2024 17:44

get them both to start viewing rental properties NOW, give them both a date they need to be moved out by.

jeaux90 · 25/02/2024 17:45

I'd ask what the estate agent was doing here, you caught it on Ring so a valid question. You don't need to blow up about it just ask.

SheepAndSword · 25/02/2024 17:46

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 25/02/2024 17:44

get them both to start viewing rental properties NOW, give them both a date they need to be moved out by.

Luckily OP has said she moves into a rental in 10 days time. Also lucky her and brother aren't married.

Sorry that you're ill OP, you don't need this sort of hassle.

DarkDarkNight · 25/02/2024 17:47

I would be fuming. Do you know which Estate Agent? If so phone first thing Monday or even leave a message saying you are the owner and no valuation should be sent. I wonder if this is breaking some kind of GDPR guidelines - shouldn’t an EA confirm you are actually allowed to be getting a valuation?

She is unhinged. It sounds like she thinks the value of your house is somehow tied up with her and your brother splitting up, like she can demand money off him. Don’t give her any letter of any kind and Yes, tell your brother and he can start making sure she’s not going to rip him off.

Heshy · 25/02/2024 17:48

Do you know which estate agency was involved?

DarkDarkNight · 25/02/2024 17:49

Having read your update, she needs to leave now not in 10 days. Kick her out, she’s not your responsibility and her kids aren’t even related to you. Play her the footage and let her explain.

Penguinmouse · 25/02/2024 17:50

She had an agent over to value the house YOU own? I’d be asking her to leave unless I got an explanation stat.

RockyRogue1001 · 25/02/2024 17:51

Oh bless you @DontVisitCabotCove

Sending love Flowers

(p.s. Whats wrong with Cabot Cave??? I don't even know where it is 🤣)

FloofyBird · 25/02/2024 17:53

Is your brother going to inherit your house? I'm wondering if that's why she wanted it's value, although if they aren't married and not his kids I can't imagine she can stake any claim. Unless she's planning on writing a new will for you!

nicknamehelp · 25/02/2024 17:54

Is your DB going to inherit house?She may be weighing up if worth giving relationship another go in order to cash in thus profiting from your illness (sorry to hear you do have illness). I would be making sure your will is water tight and people are aware of your wishes and she is evicted pronto with no letter as to your dB living with you.

SilentlyCorrectingYourSpelling · 25/02/2024 17:55

Yea she should be out on her arse right now. Play her the doorbell footage and tell her she's got 24 hours. Cheeky ungrateful cow.

twingiraffes · 25/02/2024 17:56

If you are at home by yourself right now, lock and bolt all the doors, so she can't get back in. You can let your DB and the kids back in when they return, she can take a hike.

GRex · 25/02/2024 17:57

I expect she is thinking ahead to your brother inheriting, he needs to sever ties asap. However, people do target unmortgaged properties for fraudulent sale and she may be doing that. I would call the police to have her warned off attempts to sell your home, and serve an eviction notice tomorrow that's written by a solicitor to reduce mistake risk. Are you registered for property alerts? If there is no mortgage then you absolutely must register. Email the estate agents immediately to get them to give proof of her actions to police while not giving her the valuation.

CuriousityKilledThePussy · 25/02/2024 17:57

Umm. This isn't innocently wondering how much your house might be worth and definitely a plan so that she benefits in some way

FancyBiscuitsLevel · 25/02/2024 17:59

Email the estate agent - stating you are the owner of your home, (you can provide evidence if they require), your ring door bell picked up a conversation between their agent and your house guest Jane agreeing to send a valuation to your property. that you and your dh (name) are the owners of this property, which they can find from the land registry. You do not give permission for valuations to be issued to other people.

then tell your brother.

hunpoint · 25/02/2024 18:02

Sorry I haven’t read all the replies. You can register something with land registry on your property so you are made aware of anything that happens involving your home ie. Someone trying to sell it without your knowledge. (Sorry if I haven’t worded that correctly)

SheepAndSword · 25/02/2024 18:05

The children aren't brothers so she'd have to be severely deluded to think she's entitled to part of your house.

@DontVisitCabotCove can she stay with family until rental is ready?